


In Vitro

by Fly_Kitty7000



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Artificial Insemination, Biting, Bottom Spencer, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Concerned Derek, Concerned Friends, Cravings, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Drugs, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotions, Experimentation, Feminization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Force-Feeding, Hermaphrodites, Hormones, I repeat Pregnant with Multiples, Implanted with Multiple Fertilized Eggs, In Vitro Fertilization, Increased Fertility, Intersex, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, May be perceived as slightly unrealistic but I don't think so, Medical Experimentation, Men Crying, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, Not Medically Correct, OOC, Oral Sex, Out of Character, Pain, Panic Attacks, Past Miscarriage, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Pregnant Spencer, Pregnant with Multiples, Probing, Psychological Torture, Rape with a Device, Rimming, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Slash, Spencer gets VERY Pregnant, That means more than one but less than eight, Top Derek, Torture, Unplanned Pregnancy, Weird dreams, hormone treatment, mentions of miscarriages, natural birth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:57:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fly_Kitty7000/pseuds/Fly_Kitty7000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Spencer wakes up chained to a table in a basement, he doesn't know what to make of it.  He quickly discovers that Derek is there too and they're being held against their will.  What mad plans does this unsub have for the two of them?  And how will they cope with the consequences once they finally escape?</p><p>A/N: Even though I used the archive warning for Rape/Non-Con, it isn't graphic and it isn't "normal" sex.  It's more probing and general experimentation with medical implements and it's only in the first couple of chapters.  There's also a mention of past rape later on in the story but again, it's nothing graphic and is only mentioned because of what happened after the rape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking up to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So I've been writing on this story for a while and, even though I love all of my stories, this one is kind of my baby! I'm very proud of it (which was one reason I was hesitant to post it for fear that no one would like it lol) so be kind to me! I hope you like it and I will try to update as often as I can :D As with my other slash and mpreg stories, I write Spencer about 4 inches shorter than Derek and with a higher voice than he has on the show (if you don't like that, read him however you want! It won't make a huge difference within the story). Also, Spencer is intersexed. The fake categories of intersexed people that I use will be detailed at the end of the first chapter! I really hope you like this story! Please leave kudos and comments! Thanks!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters therein. I just take them and do what I want with them (which is why they may read a little OOC even though I always try to keep each character's center, or what makes them the way they are, unless otherwise noted). If you don't like the story, please don't read it. All hateful comments or flames will be immediately deleted or marked as spam. I do, however, accept and welcome constructive criticism, opinions, and other comments as long as they are made in good taste. Thank you for reading and being respectful to me, as a human being, and my work in general. Please enjoy!

As soon as Spencer started to regain consciousness, he knew that something was seriously wrong. He distinctly remembered being on a case with the team and falling asleep in a hotel bed with Derek by his side, but now… He didn’t know where he was, but he _knew_ he wasn’t in any hotel room.

 

He could hear a clock ticking somewhere and water dripping over in a corner of the room and he shivered, suddenly realizing that he was cold. However, shivering also made him realize that he was laying on a hard, cold metal table and he couldn’t move his arms or legs. He pulled on his wrists, but discovered that they seemed to be restrained at his sides. What was more troubling, however, was that when he tried to move his legs to see if they were similarly restrained, all he felt was numbness. In fact, his whole lower body seemed to just be dead.

 

Spencer started to hyperventilate at his situation and couldn’t even bear to open his eyes until he heard a low, worried voice say, “Pretty boy, are you awake?” Spencer froze and tried to calm his breathing. ‘ _Was that Derek?’_ he asked himself, still very confused about what the Hell was going on. ‘ _Derek’s here? Why is Derek here? For that matter, why am_ I _here? And where the Hell_ is _here?!’_ Spencer felt Derek’s hand gently rub across his cheek and he could no longer hide behind his eyelids.

 

Spencer opened his eyes slowly and saw Derek’s beautiful face staring down at him. Derek had a relieved smile on his face but overall, it still looked pinched with worry and stress. “Hi,” Spencer whispered lazily. Even though he had just woken up, he was still very sleepy.

 

“Hey, baby boy,” Derek answered softly, stroking Spencer’s hair out of his face. “It’s so good to see you awake. How do you feel?”

 

Spencer crinkled his eyebrows together in confusion. ‘ _Everything about this is confusing!’_ he thought bitterly. “I’m ok, I guess. Just really tired… How long have I been asleep? And where are we? Why am I restrained?”

 

Derek sighed, never having been good at breaking bad news to anyone. “You’ve been out for a few days now, but it wasn’t your fault.”

 

“A few days?!” Spencer exclaimed, trying to sit up but the restraints held him down. That was also when he noticed that he had an IV line in his left arm and he was wearing what looked to be a dirty and stained hospital gown. “What happened?! What’s going on?!”

 

Derek immediately tried to soothe his troubled lover and calm him down so he didn’t hurt himself. “Whoa, pretty boy! Calm down, it’s going to be ok! Just take some deep breaths and I’ll tell you what I know…”

 

Spencer tried to comply but he felt his previous panic trying to seep its way back in. He took deep, heaving breaths, doing his best not to hyperventilate and pass out. Finally, after spending a good amount of time under Derek’s constant ministrations of him rubbing Spencer’s chest and chanting, “It’s ok… You’re alright… I’m here… Just calm down,” Spencer calmed enough that he knew he wouldn’t faint.

 

“I’m ok,” Spencer whispered, lazily nodding his head to emphasize his point. He wanted Derek to explain what he knew about their situation, but he didn’t trust himself to say so, afraid that he would start to panic again.

 

Derek let out another sigh and rubbed his hand over his face. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

 

“Um… Going to sleep at the hotel, I think,” Spencer answered, biting his lower lip, trying to shift to get more comfortable on his hard bed but not succeeding. “I remember that we were only about forty minutes to an hour from Quantico, but the case was serious enough that we had to stay close…”

 

Derek nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose before starting to talk. “Ok, you remember that we were here because someone had been kidnapping and killing homosexual male couples, right? Well, our unsub must have seen us together because on that night that you remember, he broke into our hotel room and drugged us both. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in this room with my leg chained to the wall. I’m still not absolutely sure why I’m only chained by the ankle and still in my own night clothes while he has you restrained to this table and changed into hospital garb, but I’ve done what I could to keep him from hurting you, pretty boy. He’s been coming in every few hours for the past couple of days and giving you injections of something though that IV, but he won’t tell me what it is. I’m so sorry, baby boy.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Derek, and I’m not going to let you blame yourself for something you couldn’t help,” Spencer said softly as he tried to stay awake and come to terms with what Derek had just told him. Something else was nagging him, though, so quietly and slightly fearfully, he asked, “Do you know why my legs are numb?”

 

Derek rubbed a hand over his face and said, “I remember him saying something about a spinal block or something. And he _has_ been injecting something into your back about once a day or so…”

 

Spencer nodded and cleared his throat. “That would explain it. I wonder why he would feel the need to give me a spinal block when he’s obviously kept me sedated…”

 

“I don’t know, pretty boy,” Derek said sadly as he let out a huff of air. “He uh… it might be because he uh…” Derek stammered out, unsure of how to break even more bad news to the love of his life.

 

Spencer started to breathe faster once more, worried about what could be so bad that Derek didn’t want to come right out and tell him. “What did he do, Derek?”

 

Derek rubbed his fingers through Spencer’s hair and down the side of his face as he took a deep breath. “He’s looked down at your… uh _privates_ a few times, baby boy,” he said softly and as gently as he could manage through his rising anger at the unsub for touching places that Derek should have the exclusive right to touch only.

 

Spencer started to hyperventilate, again descending down into panic. “Did he touch me?!” he asked in a high pitched, breathy voice, trying but failing to control his emotions. “Did he… did he r-r-ra –”

 

“No, Spencer,” Derek interrupted firmly. “I’ve been watching him ever since I woke up here and he’s never physically raped you.” Derek waited for Spencer to calm down slightly before he continued. “Since I’ve been awake, he’s really only acted like a doctor giving you a physical exam. He’s done a few ultrasounds, he’s given you two or three internal exams with his finger, all of which I screamed and yelled at him to stop but he didn’t listen, and he gave you what looked like a pap smear. I also noticed that you had a catheter in so he must have done that before I woke up.”

 

Spencer nodded and closed his eyes so that Derek wouldn’t see the sadness in them. ‘ _What is this guy’s endgame?’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _Why would he act like a gynecologist and give me internal exams and a pap smear?’_ Spencer didn’t know what to think. There had to be a reason behind the unsub’s actions! He wondered if all this was because of Spencer’s gender. Spencer was what was considered a Category X intersexed male. That meant that he had complete sets of both male and female reproductive organs as well as external openings for both. In other words, he had a vagina located right behind his penis where the perineum should have been. He was, in essence, the perfect mixture of both male and female.

 

Spencer’s musings were interrupted by the sounds of a large metal door being unlocked and swung open. Spencer’s eyes shot open in fear and Derek moved as close to him as the chain around his ankle would let him.

 

Through the door walked a fairly short, squat man with gray hair and thick glasses. He was wearing mint green scrubs, a white lab coat, and a stethoscope around his neck and he was holding a chart in his hand. He looked at Spencer and smiled a wide toothy grin. “Oh good, you’re awake!” he exclaimed in a slightly high, squeaky voice.

 

Spencer shivered and felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t like how this guy was looking at him: as if he were a starving man and Spencer was an all-you-can-eat buffet. “Who are you?” he asked in a small, quavering voice.

 

The man’s grin grew wider and he walked up to Spencer’s other side, just out of reach of Derek’s arms. “My name is Matthew Palmer and I’m going to be your doctor for the duration of your stay here,” the man answered professionally.

 

“Why did you bring us here?” Spencer asked, his voice still just a little above a whisper. He didn’t want to show this man fear but he just couldn’t help it.

 

Palmer’s smile faltered slightly but he reaffixed it to his face and, instead of answering Spencer’s question, asked one of his own. “Do you know how lucky you are?”

 

Spencer swallowed loudly but didn’t answer. He didn’t know what might set this man off and wasn’t willing to take any chances.

 

Palmer shook his head and said, “Of course you don’t. You don’t realize how many men _wish_ they could have what you have. It took me a long time to find a satisfactory specimen such as yourself. Men like you are rare!”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer said with confusion. He honestly didn’t know what Palmer was referring to. Spencer knew that, even though a lot of bad luck seemed to follow him around, he still had a really good life. He had a great job, wonderful friends, and, to top it all off, a fantastic boyfriend who loved him for who he was (a fact that still constantly amazed him). And he really wasn’t all that different than everyone else! Except for… ‘ _Oh my god!’_ Spencer thought as his eyes grew wide.

 

“You, my dear boy, are a Category X,” Palmer said firmly, emphasizing his point by poking Spencer in the abdomen with one of his short, stubby fingers. Derek let out a little growl, not liking him touching Spencer, but Palmer ignored him and continued to concentrate on Spencer. “You can bear children! Now, I know that statistically, intersexed males of _any_ category don’t have the best track records with conceiving and carrying a pregnancy full term, _but_ I believe that I have found the perfect mixture of drugs and hormones to make that almost a certainty!” By the time Palmer finished his speech, he had a slightly manic look on his face.

 

“Is that what you’ve been filling him with?!” Derek asked furiously.

 

Palmer, still looking at Spencer triumphantly, said, “I have been giving you regular injections of my own special mixture of estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, gonadotrophin, hCG, and testosterone suppressants, all of which are to prepare your body physically and emotionally to carry a pregnancy to full term.” He let out a little laugh and rubbed one of his hands gently over Spencer’s abdomen. “Now, you need a good hot meal in you and after you’re done, we’ll move on to the next step in your treatment.” He patted his hand on Spencer’s stomach and then left the room without another word.

 

When the door closed after Palmer, Spencer let out a sob and despondently exclaimed, “Oh god, Derek! What’s he going to do to me?!”

 

Derek ran his hand through Spencer’s hair and stroked his palm down Spencer’s cheek, trying his best to soothe him as much as he could. “I don’t know, sweetheart,” Derek responded honestly and with a hint of sadness. “But I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t hurt you. I’m so sorry that you have to be in this position. If I could, I’d get you out of here but I just can’t think of a way to escape. The bonds are sturdy and he has us locked down tight. I just don’t know what to do, baby! I’m so sorry.”

 

Spencer sniffed, trying not to cry at what Derek was saying. He just sounded so… lost. Spencer knew that Derek would do anything he could to keep Spencer safe, even at the cost of Derek’s own life. At that realization, though, Spencer decided that no matter what happened, he needed to be brave because he wasn’t willing to let anything happen to Derek either. “It’s alright, Derek,” Spencer said in a surprisingly strong voice. “No matter what happens, it’s not your fault. We’ll both make it out of here. I can’t live without you so even if you could get me out, I wouldn’t leave unless you could come with me.”

 

“Oh, Spencer,” Derek said lovingly. “I promise to try not to do anything that would get either one of us hurt, ok? I can’t live without you either.”

 

“It’ll all be ok,” Spencer said, as much to reassure Derek as himself.

 

Derek bent down and kissed Spencer on the forehead. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the metal door opening once more.

 

Palmer walked into the room carrying a small table that had two plates laden down with pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, potatoes, and waffle sticks. Spencer felt his eyes grow wide. Was he really expected to eat all of that?! Although, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how hungry he really was… After all, he hadn’t eaten in a couple days if what Derek had said was true. Suddenly, Spencer’s stomach growled and gurgled so loudly that Spencer could have sworn that it echoed in the nearly bare room.

 

Spencer blushed but Palmer smiled widely and said, “Well it sounds like _someone_ is hungry!” He set down the table with the food close enough for Derek to reach it and said, “Now, I’m going to trust you to eat without my supervision. But, if these plates aren’t empty by the time I get back, I will have no other choice than to put a feeding tube down both your throats. Ok?” He then turned around and left, shutting and locking door after him.

 

Derek sighed and walked over to the table, lifting it and bringing it closer to where Spencer was laying. “He means it, baby boy,” Derek said sadly. “The first day I refused to eat and he chained me against the wall and shoved a tube down my throat. He only took it out when I agreed to eat from then on.”

 

“How could he overpower you like that?” Spencer asked, wondering why big, strong Derek Morgan didn’t fight back.

 

Derek let out a breath and said, “He threatened to hurt you, baby. I couldn’t let that happen.”

 

Spencer frowned and a lone tear leaked out of his eye and traveled down his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Derek,” he whispered.

 

“Don’t be, pretty boy,” Derek said firmly. “I would do anything to protect you.”

 

Spencer moaned helplessly but nodded and took a deep breath. “How am I supposed to eat? He didn’t free my hands!”

 

“I’ll feed you, baby,” Derek said softly as he stabbed a bite of egg on a fork and held it up to Spencer’s mouth.

 

Spencer diligently ate about half the food on the plate before he started to feel uncomfortably full. He whimpered and burped loudly and then blushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” he said and sobbed a few times before he brought himself under control once more.

 

“I know, baby,” Derek said gently and stroked his hand through Spencer’s hair. “It’s ok. Let me eat mine and then we’ll see how much more you can handle.” Derek then proceeded to clean his own plate, more than willing to also finish what Spencer could not even though he himself was also very full.

 

When Derek was finished with his own plate, he forked a few more bites of food and held them out to Spencer. Spencer ate until he felt his stomach start to slightly distend and stretch almost painfully. He burped and threw up a little in his mouth, trying hard to breathe deeply through his nose so that he wouldn’t vomit everything that had just been put in his stomach. He whimpered and felt himself panting and sweating as his stomach rolled and gurgled.

 

“Ok hunny, it’s alright,” Derek said in a calming voice as he started to rub one of his hands in soothing circles over Spencer’s belly. “You did really good. I’m proud of you baby.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Spencer whined as he scrunched his face up in discomfort. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Shhhh,” Derek quieted him as he finished the food that Spencer could not while continuing to try to calm the tumultuous storm raging in his stomach. Suddenly, Spencer went totally stiff and his stomach muscles contracted. Derek thought he might throw up until he heard him loudly pass gas. Derek continued to rub his stomach but didn’t comment on the stench that filled the air as Spencer let out two more hard bursts of flatulence.

 

Spencer sobbed in embarrassment and refused to open his eyes. ‘ _Oh god, when is this going to end?!’_ he thought miserably. “I’m sorry,” he whispered once more as he finally broke down and let the tears fall.

 

“It’s ok, baby,” Derek soothed as he wiped the tears away with his strong, calloused hands. “It’s alright.”

 

And with Derek continuing to rub his stomach and wipe away his tears, Spencer fell into an uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Categories of Intersexed People:
> 
> Category A - Males or Females with correct reproductive organs but also containing partially formed organs from the opposite gender (ex. A female child containing 100% of her correct reproductive organs but who also contains an under-formed, un-dropped testicle attached to her ovary or a male child containing 100% of his correct reproductive organs but who also contains a floating ovary)
> 
> Category B - Males or Females with correct reproductive organs but also containing fully formed organs from the opposite gender (ex. A male child containing 100% of his correct reproductive organs but who also contains a floating uterus and ovaries that are not attached to any other organ in the body or a female child containing 100% of her correct reproductive organs but who also contains fully formed, un-dropped testicles)
> 
> Category C - Males or Females with partially formed reproductive organs from both genders (ex. A child who has incomplete sets of both sexual organs, such as a child containing a uterus and vagina with vaginal opening, but instead of having ovaries, has a fully formed scrotum)
> 
> Category Q - This category only includes males and are males with full sets of both male and female reproductive organs but only the male organs are visible externally and the vaginal opening is located in the rectum
> 
> Category X - A person who is fully both male and female, having visible male reproductive organs as well as an external vaginal opening located behind the penis where the perineum should be on a "normal" male


	2. The Treatment Begins

Spencer awoke to the sound of the metal door being unlocked and opened. He groaned as he opened his eyes and realized that Derek was still standing beside him, rubbing his stomach. ‘ _I must not have been out long,’_ he thought. He tried to smile up at him, giving him a silent thank you for staying with him, but Derek was staring at the door.

 

Palmer walked in and saw Derek rubbing a hand over Spencer’s belly. He smirked and said, “Did the food upset your stomach?”

 

Spencer nodded sadly and softly said, “It was too much.”

 

Palmer’s grin spread as he walked over to Spencer and cupped his cheek in his hand. “It’s ok,” he said happily. “You’ll get used to that much food soon enough.”

 

Spencer licked his lips and started breathing faster in distress. He watched as Palmer walked over to a darkened corner of the room and started to roll some sort of cart toward the table Spencer was laid on. As he got closer, Spencer saw that the cart was filled with medical supplies and tools, including an ultrasound machine.

 

Spencer tried to take deep breaths, reminding himself that he promised to try to be brave for Derek’s sake, when Palmer walked over the table and unfolded the attached leg stirrups. He felt himself start to hyperventilate as Palmer gently put his feet in the stirrups and folded down the end of the table so he could more easily access Spencer’s private parts.

 

Derek tried to convince Palmer to not do whatever he was planning but suddenly Palmer brought out a long knife and held it to Spencer’s knee. “You’ll let me do what I need to do or I’ll carve out his kneecap,” Palmer said calmly.

 

Spencer gasped and tried to move his leg but his whole bottom half was still dead to the world. He looked over at Derek, who looked conflicted and like he was wondering if Palmer was serious or not. Spencer, however, wasn’t willing to take that chance. “It’s ok, Derek,” he said firmly and nodded to emphasize his point.

 

Derek growled in frustration but kept his mouth shut and nodded back to Spencer. He continued to run his fingers though Spencer’s hair in a sign of support and comfort, however.

 

That was, he continued until Palmer reached over to his cart, grabbed a specimen cup, and threw it toward Derek who caught it instinctively. “I need a semen sample,” he said simply. Derek looked at him incredulously but complied easily when Palmer said, “Do it or I will rape him right in front of you.”

 

Spencer watched Derek walk over to a corner, after letting out another frustrated snarl, and unzip his pants. He looked back to Palmer when he heard him switching on equipment and shuffling things around. He sucked in a sharp breath when he saw Palmer grab a speculum and move down between his legs. “What are you doing?” he asked fearfully.

 

“Just calm down,” Palmer said in an annoyed voice. “With the spinal block, you shouldn’t feel much of anything, so just relax. I really don’t want to have to sedate you again.”

 

Derek came back over with the full specimen cup right as Palmer stuck the speculum in Spencer’s vaginal opening and locked it so it stayed open. He then snatched the cup out of Derek’s hand and laid it on the medical cart with the other equipment. Derek wiped a hand over his face and took a deep breath to collect himself before he started stroking his hand through Spencer’s hair once more.

 

Palmer grabbed an ultrasound probe with a long, hollow needle attached to the end of it and began to carefully insert it into the opening created by the speculum. He stared at the screen on the machine so he could guide the needle to where it needed to go and was concentrating so hard that he missed when Spencer whimpered in discomfort.

 

Even though he seemed to be numb from the waist down, Spencer still felt an uncomfortable pressure when the probe and needle went deep inside of him. He was extremely grateful for Derek’s soothing hands and words of comfort. He felt so violated and exposed and he just wanted to retreat into his mind and forget about everything that was happening to him, but he wanted to be strong. He _needed_ to be strong so Derek didn’t feel so guilty about everything that was happening.

 

Before he had time to think any further on the issue, however, Palmer was extracting the probe and needle and walking over to the cart with it. He grabbed a Petri dish and emptied the needle’s contents into it before capping the dish and setting it with Derek’s semen sample. He then grabbed a bottle of clear gel that was hand-labeled “Progesterone Pessary” and walked back over to Spencer. He stood between Spencer’s legs, carefully unlocked and removed the speculum, uncapped the bottle, and spread a liberal amount over his right index and middle fingers. He then stuck those fingers into Spencer’s vaginal opening as far as he could and rubbed around, trying to coat as much as he could. He repeated the process two more times before put the cap back on the bottle and set it aside.

 

Palmer, seemingly finished with his ministrations, lifted up and locked the end of the table back into place, and took Spencer’s feet out of the stirrups to lay straight again. “See, that wasn’t so bad!” he said happily as he folded the stirrups back into their holding place under the table. He pushed the cart back into its dark corner, grabbed the cup and the Petri dish, and left the room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

 

Derek cupped Spencer’s cheek in his hand and looked into his eyes. “Are you ok, baby boy?” he asked urgently. “Did he hurt you?”

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Spencer answered quickly. “It didn’t really hurt. It was more just a really hard, uncomfortable pressure.”

 

Derek nodded but continued to rub his hands through Spencer’s hair and down his cheeks in a soothing manner. “Do you… do you know what he did to you?” he asked hesitantly. With Spencer’s almost infinite knowledge, Derek knew it was a distinct possibility that he had figured out what was going on, but Derek also didn’t want to upset Spencer any more than he already was if Spencer didn’t want to talk about it.

 

Spencer cleared his throat and looked away from Derek. “I uh… I-I think he harvested my eggs,” he stuttered out. He bit his lip and looked back at Derek, fear and worry the prevalent emotions on his face. “I think he’s going to attempt in vitro fertilization.”

 

Derek let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to process what Spencer had just said. Then he opened his eyes and attempted a small smile. “It’s going to be ok, baby,” he said gently, brushing his thumb over Spencer’s cheek bone. “No matter what happens, we’ll get through this and it’ll all be ok.”

 

“It shouldn’t work, though!” Spencer exclaimed suddenly, close to hysteria. “The normal IVF process starts with suppressing the carrier’s natural monthly hormone cycle through daily injections or nasal sprays, and that usually takes no less than two weeks. Then, the carrier is injected daily with fertility hormones for around 12 days or so, depending on how well the carrier’s body responds to the injections. Then, about two days before the eggs are collected, the carrier is injected with a hormone to help them mature faster. After the eggs are harvested, a form of pessary is given, usually through an injection or a gel, to help prepare the lining of the womb for embryo transfer, and that’s usually done daily until the fertilized eggs are ready, which normally takes around six days. He hasn’t been treating me long enough for this to work, Derek! It _can’t_ work!”

 

“Shhhh… calm down, Spencer,” Derek soothed, moving his hand back down to Spencer’s stomach to rub there some more. He didn’t know if Spencer was trying to convince Derek or himself of the improbability of the IVF process’s success, but at the moment, all he cared about was making sure his lover didn’t hyperventilate, pass out, or go into panicked hysteria. He wanted Spencer to remain as calm as possible, no matter what happened. Derek still had faith that the team would find them and he wanted Spencer’s mental state to be as whole as possible when that happened. “If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and it’ll be ok. But if it does work, it’ll still be ok, hunny. I will stand by you and never leave your side, no matter what happens. I promise. Ok?”

 

Spencer nodded and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. ‘ _That’s all I’ve been doing since I woke up here: trying to calm down!’_ he berated himself. He’d never let himself show emotions to people before he met Derek, but Derek had shown him that it was ok to let people in and it wasn’t always good to bottle everything up. Now, however, he wondered if finally breaking the dam on his emotions was such a good thing… “Do you think the team is looking for us?” he whispered sadly, wanting to think about something else.

 

“Of course they are,” Derek answered immediately. “And as soon as they find us, Garcia and JJ are going to lock us up in a tiny room and never let us out of their sight again.”

 

Spencer chuckled slightly but then winced at the pain that suddenly shot through his lower abdomen. “The spinal block must be wearing off,” he said softly.

 

“Are you in pain?” Derek asked a little more harshly than he intended.

 

“A little,” Spencer admitted as he winced again, another pain shooting up from his vagina this time. “But it’s not unbearable. I’m ok, Derek.”

 

“You know I don’t like to see you in _any_ pain, baby boy,” Derek said gently, continuing to rub Spencer’s stomach and run his hand through Spencer’s hair, feeling like that was the best he could do to help him under the current circumstances.

 

“I know, darling,” Spencer said, using a rare pet-name to show the depth of his gratitude and love for Derek. “But I’ll be ok. Are you ok?” he asked, suddenly realizing that he never asked Derek if anything had happened to him while Spencer had been unconscious.

 

Derek could see the guilt building up in Spencer’s eyes so he quickly answered, “I’m fine, baby boy. He really hasn’t touched me other than restraining me that one time. Trust me, I’m ok. Just worried about you.”

 

Spencer nodded, relaxing slightly at Derek’s answer. “You look exhausted. Why don’t you lay down and get some sleep,” Spencer suggested, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden himself.

 

“I’m ok, hunny,” Derek said reassuringly, still stroking his hand through Spencer’s hair. “You rest though. I’ll stand watch over you.”

 

“Ok, but please don’t wear yourself out,” Spencer said tiredly, knowing it was no use to argue.

 

Derek chuckled and kissed Spencer’s forehead. “I won’t. Now get some sleep.”

 

Spencer nodded but before he could voice an answer, he drifted off, soothed by Derek’s constant calming gestures and by just the feeling of being near the love of his life and the best man he had ever known.

 

* * *

 

Spencer drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the day and into the night. Derek stayed almost constantly by his side and when he did rest, it was right by the table so he could remain close and continue to lend strength and comfort to the man he loved.

 

At around 7:30 the next morning (or Derek assumed it was morning since it had been almost 24 hours since Palmer had served them breakfast), Spencer started to stir and whimper softly in his sleep. Derek got onto his feet and started to run his fingers through Spencer’s hair, attempting to soothe away whatever was ailing him.

 

Spencer’s sleep had been plagued with nightmares of being raped with the ultrasound probe. He groaned loudly and then gasped. He opened his eyes and tried to sit up but couldn’t because of the restraints, which only caused him to panic as he tried to figure out what was real and what was the nightmare’s hazy after effects.

 

He heard a gentle voice say, “Hey, hey, calm down now. It’s ok. It was just a dream,” and felt warm, strong hands rubbing over his chest and raking through the hair on his head.

 

Spencer sniffed loudly as he tried to slow his breathing and keep from bursting into tears. “Derek,” he whined miserably.

 

“I know, baby boy, but it’s ok. It was just a dream,” Derek tried to soothe, not knowing what Spencer had been dreaming about but knowing it must have been bad to upset him so.

 

“Derek, I’m really trying to be brave but I’m just so scared!” Spencer exclaimed suddenly and looked away from Derek, ashamed to meet his eyes. “He’s pumping me full of things that are changing my body and my emotions and he’s going to attempt to make me pregnant! I just don’t know how to handle this! I don’t know if I can…”

 

“Look at me, Spencer,” Derek said firmly and waited until Spencer had obeyed before he continued. “You have been so strong and brave and I am so proud of you, hunny! But if you need to break down, there’s no shame in it. All I ask is that you let me help pull you back together. It’s alright to cry and to be scared. But just know that I will never, _ever_ leave you alone, no matter what.”

 

Spencer sniffed and felt a few tears fall from his eyes. “What did I ever do to deserve you, Derek Morgan?” he asked quietly, in awe of the love just pouring from the man beside him.

 

“Well, I am pretty awesome,” Derek teased, hoping to put a smile on Spencer’s face and relieve some of his stress. “But I’m the lucky one in this relationship.”

 

Before Spencer had a chance to argue with Derek about who was luckier, the metal door unlocked and swung open once more, admitting the last person that Spencer wanted to see at the moment. ‘ _Or ever,’_ he thought with disgust.

 

“Good news!” Palmer exclaimed as he walked into the room, looking happier than Spencer had seen him so far, which worried Spencer immensely. “The drugs and hormones have worked even better than I expected and everything is already set to start the final part of your treatment!”

 

As Spencer started to hyperventilate once more, he decided that he really hated panic and would endeavor to never breathe this fast outside of sex ever again. However, he didn’t have much time to think further on the matter as the stirrups once again made their appearance and Palmer lifted Spencer’s feet into them. Palmer then repeated what he had done before by putting the end of the table down and bringing over the medical cart from the corner.

 

Palmer grabbed the speculum and once again inserted it and locked it into place. This time, though, instead of grabbing the ultrasound probe, he picked up a full syringe with a thick 8-inch needle attached to the end.

 

Spencer’s eyes grew wide as Palmer said, “This might hurt but your body needs it in order to accept the embryo transfer. Its 6 ounces of progesterone and oxytocin. Don’t worry if you notice some emotional side effects in a few hours.” Palmer then smiled wide and roughly jabbed the needle into the speculum opening.

 

Spencer cried out, knowing for certain now that the spinal block was wearing off. He could feel every inch of the needle being jammed into his uterus and he definitely didn’t like it.

 

Derek looked down into Spencer’s face and tried to distract him by softly talking and running his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “I wonder if all the scalp massaging I’m giving you will have any long-term side effects, like making your hair thicker… or causing it to fall out. If so, I hope it’s the former. You’d look weird bald.”

 

Spencer chuckled slightly and appreciated what Derek was trying to do, but he really did want to pay attention to Palmer so he wouldn’t be surprised by what was happening. “It’s ok, Derek. I’m alright,” Spencer reassured in a small voice as he started to pant and shake from the pain.

 

Soon enough, however, Palmer took the needle out and set it back on the table. “Ok, I’m going to let you rest for just a moment while I go grab the rest of the supplies,” he said as he turned around and walked out.

 

Spencer let out a breath and closed his eyes, trying to compose himself.

 

“Are you ok?” Derek asked, cupping Spencer’s cheek in his hand and giving him as much physical support as possible.

 

Spencer knew that Derek wasn’t asking if he was completely alright because Derek knew the answer to that would be no. After all, being held captive and experimented upon was not conducive to an overall feeling of okay. Despite this, Spencer appreciated Derek’s concern and knew that he was just asking if Spencer was physically and emotionally stable at the moment. “I think so,” Spencer answered softly, being as honest as he could be.

 

Derek nodded and laid his forehead against Spencer’s, which caused Spencer to open his eyes and look up at him. “Just remember, no matter what, everything is going to be ok,” Derek reassured once more.

 

“I know, Derek,” Spencer said, leaning up for a kiss, which Derek quickly gave him. “Thank you.”

 

Derek smiled sadly but didn’t say anything. There really was nothing _to_ say. So they just stared at each other in silence, gaining strength from each other and sharing love as they waited for the next part of their Hell to begin.


	3. Manipulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story isn't as popular as the other I've posted, but to those of you who do care and read this, I added about 100 words to the beginning of the last break in Chapter 2. It doesn't change much (it really just adds details as to time and how many hours Spencer and Derek have been in captivity).

When Palmer walked back into the room with a small specimen cup filled with white, creamy liquid, Spencer knew he was in trouble. “Are you going to use all of that?” he asked in horror.

 

Palmer’s smile took up most of his face when he saw Spencer’s terror. He held up the cup and said, “There are ten fertilized eggs along with countless free swimming sperm in this cup. I know that normally, a carrier would only be injected with two or three eggs in the hopes that one will implant, but since you’re male and I’ve sped up the process considerably, I’ve decided the best course is to inject many eggs and sperm just in case none implant.”

 

Spencer shook his head back and forth and exclaimed, “That’s not how it works! You’re insane!”

 

Palmer’s smile immediately turned into a scowl and he walked over and backhanded Spencer across the face. “Keep quiet, boy! You aren’t the doctor here! I am! I know how this works!”

 

“Hey! Leave him alone!” Derek yelled and lunged forward, trying to wrap his hands around Palmer’s neck.

 

Palmer stepped aside just in time and pulled the knife out of his lab coat and pointed it at Spencer. “You shut up or I’ll hurt him!”

 

“I don’t think you will,” Derek countered angrily. “You killed all those other couples because they couldn’t give you what you needed so you won’t hurt the vessel you worked so long to acquire!” Derek hated referring to Spencer in such objectifying terms, but he was trying to determine what Palmer was capable of so he could maybe form an escape plan.

 

Palmer smirked and laughed harshly. “You really believe that, don’t you? Well, you’re right in assuming that I won’t damage the parts that are necessary to complete what I need to, but let this remind you that arms and legs are up for grabs!” Palmer then stabbed down hard into Spencer’s left hand, a gush of blood flying up around the blade.

 

Spencer screamed and threw his head back, almost passing out from the pain shooting up from the wound in his hand. ‘ _Who knew such a little wound could hurt so much?’_ Spencer’s mind said through the pain.

 

“You bastard!” Derek exclaimed, simultaneously trying to soothe his ailing lover while he figured out a way to kill Palmer.

 

“I warned you!” Palmer screeched, spittle flying through the air as his eyes bulged. “Now just shut the Hell up and let me work!” He pulled the knife out of Spencer’s hand with a great heave, which only served to make Spencer cry out once more in pain. Palmer quickly and efficiently grabbed antiseptic and gauze then cleaned and bound Spencer’s hand. Blood immediately soaked through the gauze but Palmer had already moved on to the ultrasound machine, turning it on and grabbing the probe with the needle. He then took the lid off the specimen cup, sucked up the white liquid with the needle and unceremoniously jabbed the probe and needle up into Spencer’s uterus.

 

Spencer whimpered and clenched the muscles that he was still in control of while Derek gently rubbed his chest and glared at Palmer.

 

“See what you made me do!” Palmer screamed as he pulled the probe back out of Spencer. “I have to get this right or it’ll only hurt him more and I’ll have to start all over again! Is that what you want?!”

 

Derek continued to glare at Palmer but he didn’t answer him. He just continued to do what he could to calm Spencer and get his mind off the pain.

 

Palmer took a deep breath and visibly calmed when it was apparent that no more arguments were forthcoming. “That’s better. Now stay quiet and let me work!” Palmer then went about reinserting the probe and needle correctly, consulting the ultrasound screen frequently.

 

Spencer whimpered and clenched his eyes shut at the sensation. It wasn’t extremely painful this time, but he still felt a lot of pressure and a pinching feeling every now and then.

 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Derek whispered, purposefully keeping his voice down so he didn’t set Palmer off again. “I honestly didn’t think he would hurt you like that.”

 

“It’s ok,” Spencer whispered back, keeping his eyes shut and panting from the pain and shock to his body.

 

“No, it’s not, Spencer,” Derek said, slowly shaking his head from side to side. “I should have been able to stop him. I shouldn’t have provoked him. I –”

 

“Derek, stop!” Spencer interrupted in as loud of a voice as he dared. “I cannot handle your guilt at the moment. I’m not angry at you. I don’t blame you. Just… please, help me get through this right now!” By the time Spencer was done talking, his voice had taken on a pleading tone and tears had sprung to his eyes. He hated talking to Derek like that, but at the moment, he just couldn’t take Derek apologizing about everything along with the physical torture that Palmer was inflicting.

 

Derek nodded and leaned down and kissed Spencer’s forehead. “Alright, pretty boy. I’m sorry. Just calm down and take deep breaths, ok? I’m right here… I always will be.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry for snapping,” Spencer said, taking deep breaths but feeling extremely sick to his stomach.

 

“No, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Derek said earnestly, running his fingers through Spencer’s hair and rubbing his cheek bones with his thumbs. “Just try to relax as much as you can and I promise that everything will be alright.”

 

At that moment, Palmer made a triumphant noise and looked up with a slightly manic smile on his face. “I did it! It’s done!” he exclaimed as he slowly pulled the probe and needle back out of Spencer and set it on the medical cart. “Now we just have to wait to see if I’ve been successful!” He then unlocked the speculum and gently pulled it out. He paused for a moment as if thinking about something, but then nodded to himself and grabbed the tube of progesterone pessary gel. “For good measure,” he said as he coated his fingers and stuck them in Spencer’s vagina to coat the walls as far in as he could reach.

 

Palmer then extracted his hand, wiped it on his coat and patted Spencer’s leg. “Isn’t this exciting?” he asked, looking as if he could barely hold in his delight at the situation. He then put the end of the table back up, got Spencer’s legs out of the stirrups, folded the stirrups away, and pushed the medical cart back into the corner of the room. He turned around and smiled so wide he looked as if his face might crack. “I’m going to make a celebratory dinner tonight! You’re going to love it, especially since I haven’t had time to feed you both since yesterday morning! I’ve just been so busy!” He cackled somewhat maniacally, his eyes flashing with grim amusement. He then turned his full attention toward Spencer. “And, for being such a good boy, I’m going to undo your binds _and_ give you a present!”

 

Spencer’s eyes grew wide and he swallowed audibly. What kind of present could this man possibly have for him?!

 

Palmer reached in his lab coat pocket and pulled out an already full syringe, with an especially long, thick needle attached, and walked back over to Spencer. He then pulled a key from his other pocket and unlocked the restraint on Spencer’s left wrist.

 

Spencer sighed with relief when his wrist was freed. He moved it around to try to work the stiffness out of it but before he had a chance to even think about what a free arm could mean to an eventual escape plan, he was being turned onto his right side. Spencer felt Palmer open the back of his gown and run his fingers down Spencer’s spine.

 

“Wha-What are you doing?” Spencer stuttered out nervously as he felt Palmer’s fingers press hard against one of his lower vertebras.

 

“I’m just making sure that you won’t try to run away after I release your other wrist,” Palmer answered and then stuck the needle into Spencer’s spine and injected the fluid from the syringe.

 

Spencer screamed in pain and tried his best not to move, knowing that permanent damage could occur if a lumbar puncture wasn’t done correctly.

 

“Shhh baby, it’s almost over,” Derek said in a gentle voice, stroking his hand up and down Spencer’s left arm.

 

“Alright!” Palmer announced as he pulled the needle back out of Spencer’s spine. “That should take effect in just a few minutes.” He then rolled Spencer onto his back again and walked over to unlock Spencer’s other wrist restraint. He looked at Derek and said, “Help him sit up while I readjust the table.”

 

Derek obeyed almost immediately, not wanting to get Spencer hurt any more than he already was. Derek supported Spencer’s back and allowed him to lean into Derek’s chest, exhausted from the exertion that pain had wracked on his body.

 

Behind him, Spencer could hear Palmer unlocking the head of the table and putting it more of a reclining position rather than laying straight back. Spencer was almost relieved at this development because his back was aching from laying straight on hard metal for so long. He hoped that Palmer would bring him a pillow. Maybe that would be his present!

 

Spencer mentally smacked himself for allowing himself some hope that his captor would show any kindness at all. He knew better than that, but he was just so exhausted and tired of hurting and of the emotional and physical toil that his body had been put through the last few days.

 

“Ok you can lay him back down,” Palmer said and Derek complied, seeing the relief on Spencer’s face at not having to lie completely straight. “I’m going to go get your present now,” Palmer said with the almost ever-present smile on his face and then turned around and left the room.

 

Spencer closed his eyes and muttered his previous wish. “I hope it’s a pillow.”

 

Derek chuckled slightly and said, “If it’s not, I’ll take my shirt off and let you lay on that, ok?”

 

“You don’t have to do that, Derek,” Spencer said, opening his eyes and looking Derek in the face. He could tell that Derek still felt guilty about their whole situation and Spencer didn’t want to take advantage of that.

 

“I should have done it before, Spencer,” Derek answered firmly. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

 

“Derek, please don’t do that,” Spencer pleaded. “None of this is your fault and I don’t want you blaming yourself! You can’t change what’s already happened! Don’t worry about what cannot be changed! Just… help me look toward the future and make the most of our current situation.”

 

Derek sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re right, baby,” he conceded. “I just feel like I could have protected you more and I’m so sorry for that. But I’ll try not to let it get to me. Deal?”

 

Spencer smiled slightly. “Maybe I should have protected _you_ more, Derek,” Spencer said softly. “I’m a grown man. I should be able to protect my partner. But instead, we’re both here, being held captive, being physically, mentally, and emotionally tortured. We _need_ each other to be strong right now. We can lend each other the strength that we both need. And I promise to protect you as much as I can from here on out. I love you and I couldn’t handle it if anything happened to you. You are my rock, my guiding light, my strength… And I really need that right now.” Tears leaked out of Spencer’s eyes and his lower lip trembled from the effort to not give into overpowering sobs.

 

Derek licked his lips and wiped away one of his own stray tears. “I’m not sure what to say, baby boy,” Derek said, his voice wavering with emotion. “Everything you said that I am to you, you are to me. I love you so much and I will do my best to protect you as well, from now until the end of time.” Derek then leaned down and captured Spencer’s lips with his own and they shared a semi-passionate kiss full of sadness, love, and future promises.

 

Palmer walked back into the room and cleared his throat in annoyance. “I didn’t undo your binds so you could play hanky-panky with each other,” he said almost angrily.

 

Spencer and Derek broke apart but Derek immediately grabbed Spencer’s right hand with his left and wouldn’t let go. He stared at Palmer defiantly, daring him to tell Derek to let go of Spencer’s hand. Spencer’s speech expressing his confidence in Derek and his love had breathed new life in him and he was willing to do whatever it took to keep Palmer from touching him any further and to get them both out of this situation.

 

Palmer completely ignored Derek and stared at Spencer with a wide smile. He had one of his hands behind his back while the other one was playing with something in his lab coat pocket. “I have your present,” he said almost sweetly. “Do you want it?”

 

Spencer stared at Palmer, wary and nervous about what this present could be. It was obviously small and light enough to be held with one hand, but other than that, Spencer had no clue about what it was.

 

Palmer took a few steps toward Spencer and cleared his throat. “You probably won’t understand this right away, but believe me, you’ll want it soon enough.”

 

Derek squeezed Spencer’s hand tightly, showing his support. He didn’t much care for Palmer’s description, but whatever it was, he was going to make sure that Spencer knew that Derek was there for him.

 

Suddenly, Palmer brought out from behind his back something that completely stumped Spencer. It was a doll that looked like a newborn baby. Palmer shoved it into Spencer’s chest and Spencer curled his left arm up instinctively to hold it. The doll was soft and weighted like a baby, but what surprised Spencer the most was how natural it felt in his arm, being held to his chest.

 

Spencer closed his eyes in frustration. ‘ _It’s just the effects of the oxytocin flooding my system. Of course I’m going to want to love and nurture, even if it is just a doll! This is just another way for him to manipulate my emotions…’_ However, no matter how much Spencer tried to rationalize his actions, he couldn’t seem to force himself to put the doll down.

 

Palmer smiled at Spencer’s reaction and said, “Good, good! You’re already exhibiting bonding and nurturing behaviors. That’s excellent!”

 

Spencer blushed and looked down at his knees, trying hard not to stare at the doll cradled in his arm. God, he hated hormones! They made him completely irrational!

 

“Don’t be ashamed!” Palmer exclaimed. “This is wonderful! It means that the treatment overall is working and more likely to be a success! Now, I’m going to go run a few errands and then make our celebratory meal. I should be back in a few hours, give or take.” He then turned around and left the room in silence.

 

Derek squeezed Spencer’s hand firmly. He didn’t understand Spencer’s reaction to the doll but he wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. He never wanted Spencer to be ashamed of what he was feeling, no matter what it was.

 

“It’s the oxytocin and other hormones he’s been pumping into me,” Spencer mumbled without looking up at Derek. He knew that Derek would be curious but probably wouldn’t ask and Spencer felt the need to explain himself.

 

“Oxytocin makes you want to nurture?” Derek asked curiously, remembering what Palmer had said.

 

“Carriers usually secrete oxytocin right after giving birth so that they’ll feel the need to bond with and care for their young,” Spencer explained, still staring steadily at his knees. “This hormone can also cause new mothers to take in young that have been abandoned and care for them as their own. For example, there was once a case of a cat who had just had kittens adopting three abandoned ducklings and caring for them as her own.”

 

Derek nodded and squeezed Spencer’s hand once more. “That makes sense,” he said gently. He knew that Spencer often rambled facts when he was nervous or scared so Derek let him. He then sighed when Spencer still didn’t look up at him. “Listen, Spencer,” Derek said softly, moving his right hand to rub up and down Spencer’s right arm. “It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling. You don’t have to be ashamed. If you want or need to hold that doll, then you do it. You do whatever you need to do to make it through this. Ok?”

 

Spencer finally looked up at Derek with tears in his eyes. “I just hate that he’s manipulating my emotions and my body is just _letting_ him!” he exclaimed in frustration.

 

“Shhh, its ok baby,” Derek soothed. “You know better than anyone that our bodies are dictated by a delicate balance of chemicals and that whenever those chemicals are disturbed, weird things happen.”

 

Spencer chuckled slightly at Derek’s explanation. “Well, I can’t imagine anything getting weirder than this.”


	4. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than normal because I just couldn't find a way to end it sooner! Also, as per some requests, I made Derek's temper show a little more. Hope you all like it!

Derek stood next to the table and watched as Spencer slept. His ailing lover had the doll on his chest and his left arm was curled up around it in a rather loving manner. Derek signed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was way out of his depth in this situation and wanted nothing more than for it to end.

 

As he watched Spencer’s chest rise and fall with every breath, he noticed the bloody bandage on his left hand and Derek knew that Spencer wanted out of all this as well. Suddenly an overwhelming wave of guilt and anger flooded Derek’s senses and all he could hear was that damned clock on the wall behind him, ticking away the seconds of their lives as they just sat around helpless.

 

A low, guttural growl left Derek’s lips as he suddenly wheeled around and stalked to the wall. He then balled his hand up into a fist, aimed at the clock face, and punched with all his might. The glass covering shattered and cut into his hand, but Derek didn’t notice. Still feeling the emotions course through him, Derek ripped the broken clock off the wall and hurled it across the room where it broke into pieces and scattered across the floor.

 

Derek closed his eyes and took a deep breath, determined to calm himself down after his little tantrum. He looked back over to the table and was relieved to see that Spencer was still soundly asleep. If Derek would have had _his_ way, Spencer would have remained asleep throughout the entire ordeal so that he would have been spared the pain, fear, and humiliation.

 

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose, took another deep breath, and came to a decision. He walked back over to the table and grabbed Spencer’s right hand in both of his own. He then brought Spencer’s hand up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I’m gonna get us out of here today, baby boy,” he whispered more to himself than to Spencer. “No matter what it takes, I won’t allow you to be put through this any longer.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Spencer gasped and opened his eyes as he awoke from a particularly bad nightmare. However, when the sleepy haze finally lifted from his mind, he discovered that his reality wasn’t much better than his nightmare. What made it particularly disturbing was that Derek was nowhere in sight. Spencer started to panic slightly, wondering what could have happened and running a million different scenarios, all of them horrifying, through his mind, until he heard a soft snore off to his right.

 

Spencer looked down and a warm smile stretched across his face. Derek had finally taken Spencer’s advice to get some rest and had curled up on the floor next to the table. Spencer sighed and reclined back once more, glad that Derek was getting some sleep and could, at least mentally, gain a little reprieve from the terrible situation they were in.

 

Spencer’s relief was cut short, however, when he suddenly noticed a rather painful pressure in his lower abdomen. He whimpered and held the doll tight to his chest as his stomach rumbled audibly and gurgled and grumbled uncomfortably. He really wished he could pull his knees up to his chest, not only to try to relieve some of the pressure, but also in embarrassment as he realized what the problem was.

 

Spencer closed his eyes and tried to ride out the uncomfortable feeling by breathing deeply and using his right hand to massage his stomach. He really didn’t want to wake Derek for something like this. However, when Derek heard Spencer whimper, he immediately jumped to his feet and put his hands on Spencer’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

 

Spencer just shook his head and looked down at the doll in his arms as his stomach rolled and churned.

 

“Come on, baby boy,” Derek coaxed. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I um…” Spencer started in a small voice and then whimpered again. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

Derek sighed and nodded his head. There was a toilet over in the corner of the room for Derek to use, but he wasn’t sure what Spencer was supposed to use. While he had been unconscious, Palmer had kept a bedpan under Spencer but now, all he had was the catheter. Derek rubbed his hand over his face and thought. He could carry Spencer to the toilet, but he had an IV and other lines hooked up to him. “Let me see if I can detach you from some of this equipment and then I’ll carry you to the toilet, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded but didn’t look at Derek. This situation was straight out of Spencer’s worst nightmares and ranked right up there with dreaming about walking into work with no pants on. To distract himself, Spencer looked over at the IV in his arm and saw where the tubes connected. He set the doll down beside him then reached his right hand over and attempted to disconnect the tubes from his arm, knowing that if he took the whole thing out, that would probably upset Palmer, which was something that Spencer was not in the mood to do at the moment.

 

Derek stretched over Spencer’s legs to see how the catheter was connected to the bag (which also happened to be hanging from the IV stand on the opposite side of the table). He found a connector tube and a hanging clamp so Derek clamped off the catheter tube right above the connector and then disconnected it from the tube coming out of the bag. “Alright, pretty boy, you’re all set,” he said gently as he moved to pick Spencer up bridal style and carry him to the corner of the room.

 

Derek then set Spencer on the toilet seat, making sure that his gown wasn’t under him. He kept his hands on Spencer’s shoulders, knowing that Spencer’s legs were numb from the spinal block so he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up and could very well fall on his face. Derek didn’t look at Spencer or say anything as Spencer did his business and then wiped himself. Derek silently thanked the Lord that Palmer had been charitable enough to leave them toilet paper.

 

“Alright,” Spencer whispered, indicating that he was ready for Derek to carry him back to the table. Even though Palmer had said that he wouldn’t be back for a few hours, Spencer knew that Palmer could show up at any time and probably wouldn’t like it much if he found Spencer disconnected from the IV and catheter and not on his table. Plus, it wasn’t as if he could walk around or do anything while he was up anyway.

 

Derek picked Spencer back up, walked back over to the table, and laid him back down, moving to hook the tubes back up in their proper places.

 

Spencer immediately grabbed the doll and held it to his chest, struggling not to burst into tears out of embarrassment. He felt Derek reconnecting the tubes and lines, but Spencer clamped his eyes shut tight, determined to detach himself from reality at the moment. He knew that it was probably weird and slightly stupid for the issue of bodily functions and needs to be the thing that got to him the most, but Spencer couldn’t help it! This whole scenario was like a study in things that embarrassed him the most!

 

Derek felt Spencer shaking as he double checked the tubes and lines, so he moved up to rub one hand up and down Spencer’s right arm, and rake his other hand through Spencer’s long hair. “Baby, it’s ok. Don’t be embarrassed,” Derek said softly. He knew that this much ‘show-and-tell,’ for lack of a better term, was killing Spencer. Spencer was a shy, reserved, nervous man on the best of days and Derek just hoped that he could somehow help Spencer and keep this whole experience from breaking him completely.

 

“I can’t help it,” Spencer answered in a flat, emotionless voice. “It’s just too much, Derek… It’s just too much.”

 

Derek closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “I know, Spencer, but please don’t shut down on me,” Derek pleaded, grabbing Spencer’s right hand with both of his and trying to get Spencer to look at him. “I will help you through this, baby, but you cannot give up on me and shut down! Please!”

 

Spencer finally looked up at Derek and bit his trembling lower lip. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked miserably as a few tears fell from his eyes and traveled down his face.

 

“Just let it out,” Derek said, his voice firm but warm. “Talk, cry, scream, yell, hit… It doesn’t matter as long as you don’t bottle it up.”

 

Spencer started to sob and his breathing turned short and heaving as the floodgates opened and tears streamed down his cheeks. “Why is this happening?!” he screamed and then threw the doll across the room in frustration. “I just hate feeling so damn _helpless_!”

 

Derek hugged Spencer to his chest when he started to cry and sob hysterically. Derek rubbed soothing circles on his back as Spencer let out all of his emotions and frustrations. After about ten minutes, Spencer started to slowly quiet down until he was only sniffing into Derek’s T-shirt and shuttering every now and then. Derek then felt Spencer go limp and realized that he had fallen asleep. Derek smiled sadly and gently laid Spencer back and brushed the hair out of his face. “Just sleep, pretty boy,” Derek whispered as he leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer woke up with a start when a loud sound came from outside of the room. He whimpered slightly, not quite understanding what was going on as he fought through the lingering haze of sleep.

 

“Shhhh, you’re alright,” Derek said gently, immediately stepping up to rub circles on Spencer’s chest.

 

“Derek?” Spencer called in a small, wavering voice.

 

“I’m right here, baby boy,” Derek answered as he brushed Spencer’s hair out of his face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Spencer nodded and blinked his eyes a few times, trying to wake himself up. He cleared his throat and shifted his body as much as he could, trying to get comfortable and failing.

 

Suddenly, the metal door to the room shot open and Palmer walked in, pushing a small food cart in front of him. The cart was laden with two large plates of food and two smaller plates of dessert. A dozen bottles of water also graced the table, which was something that Derek was immediately pleased to see since Palmer didn’t always serve drinks with the meals.

 

“Dinner is served!” Palmer exclaimed happily, looking between Spencer and Derek. He then noticed that Spencer was no longer holding the baby doll and did a quick search around the room with his eyes to find it. When he saw it laying against the far wall where Spencer had thrown it, and the shattered clock laying just a few feet from the doll, he glared at both Spencer and Derek. He then walked over to the wreckage, roughly picked the doll up and stalked over to the table where Spencer laid. “How dare you abuse my kindness like this?!” he yelled, shaking the doll in Spencer’s face and then throwing it on the floor. “For this, you both must be punished!”

 

Palmer walked around the table to stand on the opposite side of Derek and sneered down at Spencer. “I obviously can’t trust you with your wrists free,” he said as he angrily grabbed Spencer’s left hand, purposely digging his fingernails into the stab wound there.

 

Spencer cried out as Palmer locked his wrist into place once more. He tried to push up against the bond with his hand but felt blood start to flow from his reopened wound, slicking his palm and preventing him from finding any purchase on the metal table.

 

Palmer then looked up and pointed a finger at Derek. “And I obviously can’t trust _you_ on such a long leash!” he yelled, spittle flying from his lips and mania lighting up in his eyes. He stomped over to the other side of the table, drawing a knife out of his pocket and pointing towards Derek’s chest. “Move back toward the wall or I will carve your beloved’s eyeballs out of his head!”

 

Derek raised his hands in surrender and started to back up, keeping his eyes on the knife in Palmer’s hand. However, as soon as Palmer turned around to grab Spencer’s other wrist, Derek ran back toward the table and put an arm around Palmer’s neck and squeezed.

 

Palmer cried out in surprise and flung his hands immediately up to his neck to try to pull Derek’s arm off. He used the knife to stab at the extremity that was obstructing his airway and blood started to flow freely down Derek’s dark skin.

 

Derek didn’t release his hold on his and Spencer’s captor, however. He wasn’t going to let this opportunity get away from him. His earlier decision to free both himself and Spencer, as well as memories of the pain and anguish that Spencer had had to put up with the last few days, was enough to give him the courage and strength to hold on through the abuse. Eventually, Derek’s resolve paid off as Palmer stopped struggling and Derek dropped him unceremoniously to the floor.

 

Derek was panting from the effort of the struggle and the pain in his arm, but he knew he didn’t have long before Palmer woke up. Derek kneeled down and grabbed the bloody knife out Palmer’s hand and stuck it in his own pajama pants pocket. He then rooted around in Palmer’s lab coat pockets until he found a set of keys. He tried a few of the keys on his ankle restraint before he found the right one and clicked it open. Working fast, Derek put the restraint on Palmer’s ankle and locked it, then got to his feet and jogged over to Spencer.

 

While Derek had been unlocking himself, Spencer had been pulling the tubes and needles from his body, hoping that it would help speed up their impromptu escape. Derek then came over and unlocked Spencer’s wrist binding, shoved the keys in his pocket with the knife, and picked Spencer up off the table bridal style. “What do you say we get out of here, huh?”

 

Spencer smiled and threw his arms around Derek’s neck. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

Derek practically ran out of the door with Spencer in his arms, but as soon as he cleared the door, he stopped and looked around. They were in a dimly lit hallway with doors on either side that signified other rooms and a staircase going up at the end. Suddenly, Derek crouched and set Spencer down on the floor and ran back into the room.

 

“Derek!” Spencer yelled, confused and concerned. “What are you doing?”

 

Derek rushed back out of the room almost immediately carrying four of the water bottles in his arms. He set those down next to Spencer then turned back, shut the door, and locked the padlock. “We’re both dehydrated and won’t get very far without water,” Derek explained as he crouched down and opened one of the bottles and taking a huge drink. After a moment, he let out a muffled burp, then continued. “I closed and locked the door because that guy’s crazy enough to have spare keys to the restrains shoved up his ass or something, so, just in case he _does_ get out of the ankle bind, I locked the door because it can only be opened from this side. He’s stuck until we let him out.”

 

Spencer nodded his head, opened a bottle of his own and drank it down rather fast, which he regretted immediately. A sharp pain cut across his stomach and he groaned and wrapped his arms around his middle.

 

“Spencer, are you ok?” Derek asked worriedly as he grabbed and held Spencer’s shoulders. Spencer was swaying back and forth slightly and Derek was afraid that he might fall over or pass out.

 

Spencer nodded his head but didn’t trust himself to speak for fear that he would throw up all over the place. As it was, his stomach was already trying to jump up into his throat.

 

“Spencer, talk to me,” Derek insisted, growing more and more concerned when Spencer shook his head no. “Are you in pain? What happened? Talk to me!”

 

Suddenly, Spencer’s stomach lurched and he had enough presence of mind to turn his head _away_ from Derek as he projectile-vomited the water he had just drank. Spencer immediately felt better and sighed as his muscles went lax and he fell sideways.

 

Derek caught him and held him against his chest while he ran a hand up and down his spine. “It’s ok,” he said softly and kissed the top of Spencer’s head. “I’m sorry for not understanding what was wrong.”

 

Spencer shook his head, not quite having the energy to answer him. However, when Derek just continued to hold him, Spencer whispered, “Not your fault… Drank water too fast.”

 

“I know, baby,” Derek said and kissed the top of his head once more before he leaned him back slightly, still supporting him with one arm. Derek reached for his own unfinished water bottle and held it up to Spencer’s lips. “Just take little sips. You need to drink to keep hydrated.”

 

Spencer obeyed and took tiny sips which ended up cooling his throat and soothing his aching stomach. Spencer turned his head away when he knew he couldn’t handle any more, so Derek, who got the hint, drank what was left in the bottle then threw it aside.

 

Derek reached out and, while still supporting Spencer, grabbed the two remaining full bottles and set them in Spencer’s lap. “I know you’re tired, but could you try to make sure that these don’t fall as I carry you? I wouldn’t make you, but it’s the only way I can see that we can take them with us.”

 

Spencer nodded and moved his left arm to cradle the bottles, being careful not to aggravate the wound on his hand.

 

Derek then proceeded to pick Spencer up once more and quickly headed for the stairs, figuring that going upstairs would bring them closer to the exit since it looked like they were in a large basement. At the top of the stairs was another door, but luckily this one wasn’t locked so Derek opened it and walked through into what looked like a 1970s styled living room with a shag carpet and wood paneled walls. Derek looked from side to side and decided to head right toward what looked like a kitchen, hoping there would be a door leading outside. As soon as he stepped into the room, though, he froze.

 

Spencer, who had his eyes closed, felt Derek stop in his tracks and started to panic. “What’s wrong?” he whimpered and turned his head into Derek’s chest, afraid to see what was happening.

 

“It’s alright, pretty boy,” Derek said happily as he kissed the top of Spencer’s head. “Not only is there a door out, but there’s a phone right on the kitchen table.”

 

“Really?” Spencer said, opening his eyes and looking around, suddenly wide awake. When he saw the phone, he let out a happy bark of laughter, then whipped his head back around to plant a kiss on Derek’s lips.

 

Derek laughed as he walked over the table and set Spencer down on it. He then grabbed the phone and dialed a familiar number, putting it on speaker so that Spencer could hear as well, a smile fixed to his face as he listened to it ring.

 

“Hello? Who is this?” answered a voice that was like heavenly music to both of their ears even though it was pitched with worry and frustration.

 

“Hey, baby girl,” Derek answered sweetly, still smiling.

 

Garcia let out a shout before Derek could say anything more. “Oh my _GOD_! Derek, is that really you?! Oh, I’ve been so worried about you! Everyone has! Is Reid with you?! What’s been happening?! Are you both ok?!”

 

“Garcia, stop!” Derek said loudly, interrupting her rant of questions and concerns. “Yes, Spencer is with me, but I don’t know how much time we have to just sit around and chat. Can you trace this phone? Because I honestly have no idea where we are.”

 

“Of course, of course,” she said quickly and the sound of her typing on her keyboard filled the silence. “Ok, it looks like you’re only a couple miles away! Almost half-way between here and home, actually… How could we have missed this?!”

 

“How soon can you all be here?” Derek asked quickly, finally allowing a bubble of hope to grow in his chest at the prospect of their current situation soon being over.

 

“Twenty minutes, tops!” Garcia answered quickly. “Does the team need SWAT or backup of any kind or is the situation under control?”

 

“My opinion would be to send a few local units with the team,” Derek answered honestly, rubbing a hand over his shaved scalp. “The situation seems to be under control at the moment, but this guy is smart so I’m not taking any chances.”

 

“Ok, just hang on, my lovelies, while I patch Hotch into this call,” Garcia said and clicking keys could again be heard.

 

Derek waited somewhat impatiently when he heard Hotch’s phone ring over the line four times before he answered.

 

“What have you got, Garcia?” Hotch said hastily in his deep, firm voice.

 

“I found them, sir!” Garcia answered excitedly.

 

“You had some help, baby girl,” Derek teased, feeling better about their situation now that Hotch was in the loop.

 

“Morgan!” Hotch exclaimed and Derek and Spencer could hear the sudden commotion in the background that came from the rest of the team’s reactions. “Are you and Reid ok?”

 

“Spencer’s a little worse for wear than I am,” Derek answered seriously as he watched Spencer sway and struggle to remain upright.

 

“I’m ok,” Spencer said softly as he closed his eyes, trying his hardest to not give in to the exhaustion that wracked his body.

 

“Sure you are,” Derek said sarcastically as he moved to help Spencer lay down on the tabletop. “Just rest, baby boy. Help is coming.”

 

Spencer slowly nodded and drifted into a slightly uneasy sleep as he listened to Derek, Hotch, and Garcia talk to each other over the phone, hoping with everything in him that rescue would come before anything else bad happened.


	5. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know that doctors can pretty much tell if a person is pregnant right after conception anymore, but for the purposes of this story, let's just pretend that they either can't or that the hospital doesn't have the right type of equipment. Hope that doesn't detract from the story or turn anyone away!

“Stay on the line with me, ok Derek?” Garcia pleaded when Hotch hung up to gather the team and the backup units. Garcia had already sent Derek and Spencer’s location to the team’s phones so that they could leave immediately.

 

“Of course, baby girl,” Derek said as he watched Spencer sleep. Derek leaned against the kitchen table next to Spencer’s abdomen. He stuck out a hand and laid it on Spencer’s stomach, rubbing it in soft circles. _‘What if he’s pregnant?’_ Derek asked himself. ‘ _How will he handle it? Will he want to keep the baby? If he does, will we be able to take care of it? Are we ready for a family?’_ Derek sighed and shook his head. There was no need to worry about that now.

 

“Derek?” Garcia called, the sound of her voice breaking Derek out of his thoughts.

 

“Sorry, Penelope,” he apologized and moved his hand down to rub up and down Spencer’s thigh instead. “I’m just worried about Spencer.”

 

“Is he ok? Is he hurt?” Garcia asked quickly, realizing that she didn’t know the extent of their injuries.

 

“Physically, I think he’s going to be ok,” Derek said softly, continuing to just stare at his sleeping lover. “But mentally… and the aftereffects and consequences of what this guy did to him… I just don’t know, baby girl.”

 

“What did he do to my baby?!” Garcia asked angrily. She, like everyone on the team, had a soft spot in her heart for the boy genius and so had taken up the position of honorary overprotective big sister.

 

Derek sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I really don’t want to get into it right now, mama,” he said sadly. “Maybe after we know what all this ordeal has done to him… but not now.”

 

“Ok,” Garcia said in a small voice. She knew that if Derek didn’t want to expound on harms that had been done to his partner, then it must have been _really_ bad. “Just know that I’m here if you need to talk, alright?”

 

“I know, baby girl,” Derek answered appreciatively. “Thanks.”

 

They sat in silence for a while before Derek heard faint sirens in the distance. “I think they’re almost here, Garcia,” Derek said, his voice lighter than it had been in days. “I’m gonna hang up as soon as they walk through the door, ok?”

 

“Sure thing, hot stuff,” Garcia answered in her usual flirty tone, also sounding happier than she had since Derek and Spencer had gone missing.

 

Derek laughed and, as he heard the sirens get closer and closer, he felt himself let go of some of the tension that he had been holding in since he’d woken up chained to the wall in the basement. His eyes grew heavy and he felt as if he could sleep for a week. He just hoped that things went smooth enough from here on out that he actually _could_ close his eyes and get some rest.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer woke up to chaos. There were people everywhere and it seemed like most of them were touching him in some way! He whimpered and looked around for a familiar face. Finding none, he started to panic. “Don’t touch me,” he croaked out, but when no one listened, he screamed “Don’t touch me!” and rolled his body sideways. He fell off the table and landed on his back, knocking the wind out of him, but he was too full of adrenaline to notice. He rolled over and tried to crawl away from the poking and prodding hands trying to pull him back, but his legs still didn’t seem to be working. He started to sob and scream hysterically out of confusion and terror.

 

“Hey!” Derek yelled angrily from his seat on the other side of the kitchen. He knew immediately when Spencer was awake because of the commotion he was making but none of the EMTs seemed to realize that they were just making it worse. “Leave him alone! Can’t you see you’re scaring him?!” He tried to stand up and go over to his terrified mate, but one of the EMTs that had been wrapping Derek’s injured arm put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Sir, just stay still and let us do our jobs,” The EMT said in a stern voice.

 

“Like Hell!” Derek exploded and stood up. Furious, he stalked over to the crowd of first responders gathered around Spencer and started pushing them aside. “Move before I shoot all of you!” he yelled when he wasn’t getting to Spencer fast enough.

 

Even though Derek didn’t have his gun on him, the crowd still parted like the Red Sea to let him through. One of them, a young boy, crossed his arms over his chest and indignantly said, “We’re just trying to help him! Why is he freaking out like that?”

 

Derek whipped around and glared at the asshole that had dared say that. “You insensitive bastard!” he roared, wanting nothing more than to wrap his hands around the EMT’s neck. “You have no _idea_ what he’s been through!”

 

At that moment, the rest of the BAU team arrived back in the kitchen, having cleared the rest of the house of any potential dangers. “What’s going on here?!” Hotch yelled, seeing the commotion and hearing Spencer’s terrified screams and whimpers coming from the floor.

 

JJ ran over to kneel next to Spencer to try to soothe him as Derek shouted, “These unprofessional assholes just scared the shit out of Spencer and then had the nerve to try to defend their actions!”

 

“Morgan, go to Reid,” Hotch ordered, seeing the murderous glint in Derek’s eyes. “I’ll deal with the EMTs”

 

Derek growled in frustration, but when he realized that Spencer was still whimpering and trying to crawl to safety, his anger immediately turned to worry. Derek turned and knelt down on the opposite side of Spencer that JJ was on. He laid his hand on Spencer’s back and started to gently rub as he softly chanted reassurances. “It’s alright, baby boy… you’re safe… it’s ok, I’m here… shhhhh… you’re going to be ok… calm down…”

 

Spencer slowly calmed under Derek’s soothing presence and was soon just shuddering and hiccupping while he tried to catch his breath and stop crying. Suddenly, however, his stomach lurched and he threw up the water he had managed to keep down before. Although his stomach felt better, he was embarrassed at his lack of control. He closed his eyes and blushed as Derek gently moved Spencer to lay on his back in Derek’s lap.

 

“Are you ok, Spence?” JJ tentatively asked. She had never seen him that upset before and it scared her.

 

Spencer moaned when he recognized JJ’s voice. ‘ _Oh god, how could I have been that weak in front of JJ?!_ ’ he miserably asked himself, horrified at his actions.

 

“Hey, now, it’s ok,” Derek said gently, seeing the embarrassment on Spencer’s face. He reached over and brushed Spencer’s hair out of his eyes as he said, “You have nothing to be ashamed about, baby boy. You’ve been through a Hell of an ordeal and you were frightened and confused. No one is going to fault you for that.”

 

Spencer opened his eyes and gazed up at Derek, who had love and kindness written all over his face. He felt tears running out of his eyes once more and just gave into the emotion as silent sobs wracked his body. He whimpered and moaned and burrowed his face as far into Derek’s chest as he could, needing the contact for comfort.

 

Derek sighed and just held Spencer close. He knew that Spencer needed to be checked out by the EMTs and that they both needed to go to a hospital, but he just couldn’t make himself push Spencer away.

 

Hotch walked over after having dealt with the insensitive first responders and saw Derek holding a distraught Spencer. “Is he ok?” he asked gently even though he knew the answer was probably going to be no.

 

Derek just shook his head sadly and stroked the back of Spencer’s head, trying to comfort and soothe him. He looked around and saw Emily and Rossi standing in a corner talking to local law enforcement officers, but something seemed to be out of place. Suddenly, he realized what was missing. “Where’s Palmer?”

 

Hotch sighed and said, “We found him in the basement like you said, but by the time we got there, he’d already committed suicide.”

 

Derek closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in frustration. “With what? I took his knife!”

 

“It looks as if he used a piece of glass from a shattered clock to slit his wrists,” Hotch answered calmly even though his voice didn’t completely hide the frustration he himself was feeling at the situation.

 

“Damn,” Derek said, opening his eyes and looking down at Spencer. ‘ _Why did I have to break that stupid clock?!’_ he thought angrily, trying to come to terms with the fact that the man that had caused them so much pain would never face justice on this Earth. He then sighed and ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “At least he won’t bother Spencer anymore and we won’t have to go through a lengthy trial.”

 

“I’m glad he’s dead,” Spencer said softly, his voice muffled from having his face almost implanted into Derek’s shirt.

 

Hotch and JJ looked slightly shocked at Spencer’s words, never having known him to be happy over someone’s death, no matter how awful the person had been.

 

Derek just rubbed circles onto Spencer’s back and said, “Everything’s gonna be alright, pretty boy.”

 

Spencer nodded and sniffed loudly, trying to compose himself. Finally, he turned rolled away from the comfort of Derek’s chest and onto his back, looking up at Hotch. He licked his lips and sniffed again, raising a shaking hand up to wipe the tears off of his face. “I’m sorry I freaked out,” he croaked in a hoarse voice, having overused it in his panic. “It’s all the hormones he pumped into me. They’re messing with my emotions and self-control.”

 

“Why did he give you hormones?” Hotch asked, still confused about the unsub’s endgame. He was hoping that Derek and Spencer could shed some light on why Palmer had kidnapped and killed three homosexual couples before kidnapping two federal agents.

 

Spencer whimpered and closed his eyes again. “Can we get out of this Hell hole please?” he begged in a whiny and exhausted voice. “We can tell you all what happened at the hospital or whatever. I just need to get out of his God-forsaken place!”

 

Derek could tell that Spencer was starting to panic once more so he started to rub his hand over Spencer’s chest and abdomen. “Yeah, let’s get out of here, Hotch,” he said sadly, feeling Spencer shaking in his arms.

 

Hotch nodded and motioned for a couple EMTs to come over. “Be gentle and patient,” Hotch said firmly, the unspoken threat coming through loud and clear.

 

The first responders nodded and knelt down by Spencer to try to prepare him for the ambulance ride to the hospital.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek hated the waiting game of the hospital. The only difference this time was that instead of sitting in an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room, Derek was lying in an uncomfortable bed in a hospital room. He sighed, refusing to give in to the exhaustion until he made sure that Spencer was alright.

 

Derek had insisted on riding in the same ambulance as Spencer on the way to the hospital, but when they arrived, much to Derek’s frustration and Spencer’s dismay, they were separated. Spencer was immediately rushed into surgery for his hand while Derek was checked over. Other than the obvious stab wounds on his right arm, which turned out to be mainly superficial, the ER staff found that he was also severely dehydrated. However, Derek only agreed to be admitted if he could have the assurance that, after Spencer’s surgery was finished, he would be brought to the same room as Derek.

 

After a small debate, in which Hotch stepped in to make sure Derek’s wishes were met, the hospital had agreed and so Derek had allowed himself to be admitted. Now, all Derek had to do was wait and watch the fluid drip from the IV bag down into the tube leading to his left hand. Derek sighed and laid his head back on the pillow. The doctors hadn’t wanted the team to come in to visit until Spencer was out of surgery so that they could explain Spencer’s condition to Derek first and without an audience. Derek understood and appreciated the hospital’s discretion, but was slightly frustrated because he knew that he would most likely tell the team everything the doctor told him anyway.

 

Before Derek had a chance to ponder on the issue any further, the door to the room opened and a hospital cot was wheeled in, bearing a still-unconscious Spencer who was now in a clean hospital gown. There was a brace covering his left hand and an IV line attached right above it. Spencer’s right arm was slung over his abdomen in an almost protective fashion. Derek couldn’t stop staring at him. He looked so pale and thin! How had he not noticed before how fragile Spencer had become?!

 

As the nurses hooked Spencer up to various machines in the room, the doctor walked in and shut the door behind him. “Good evening, Mr. Morgan, my name is Dr. Albert MacIntyer,” he greeted as he looked at, what Derek assumed was, Spencer’s medical information on a tablet in his hands. “I am aware that you are Dr. Reid’s primary medical contact as well as his listed next-of-kin. With that in mind, I can legally inform you about his condition. The most notable wound Dr. Reid presented with was the stab to his left hand. The wound went all the way through the back of his hand to his palm and the force broke his index and middle metacarpal bones. I set those bones and opted for a hard brace instead of cast. It’ll be more comfortable and his hand will heal in the same amount of time. He’ll need to keep the brace on for a minimum of 3 weeks and after that there’s a good chance he’ll need physical therapy to regain full usage. But overall, his hand should heal just fine. Any questions about that?”

 

Derek shook his head no, thankful that the doctor was explaining things out and making sure that he understood what was going on.

 

“Alright,” Dr. MacIntyer said and nodded his head before continuing. “After an extensive physical examination while he was still sedated, I discovered that his vagina, cervix, and uterus had all been severely abused. There is a significant amount of scarring and it appears as if the lining of his uterus has been artificially thickened. Can you tell me what happened to him so that I can figure out the best course of action?”

 

Derek nodded and took a deep breath. “We were held captive for almost five days. In that time, the man who had us pumped Spencer full of hormones and sedatives and God knows what else. Late yesterday, he harvested eggs from Spencer and sperm from me, mixed them together, and then put the mixture back into Spencer earlier today.”

 

The doctor nodded and entered a few things in on his tablet. “So he was attempting a sort of IVF procedure?”

 

“Yeah, he was trying to prove that he had come up with a way to increase fertility levels of intersexed males or something like that,” Derek said with disgust.

 

“I see,” Dr. MacIntyre said, again nodding as he swiped and typed on his tablet. “Ok well then the thickening of the uterus makes more sense. All of his blood work isn’t back yet but as soon as it does come back, I can determine what kinds of medications he may or may not need to counteract any negative side effects. Since this procedure was only completed today, it is too early to determine whether the implantation worked and he is indeed pregnant. I want him to see a doctor in about a week to ten days so a determination _can_ be made. Other than that, he is extremely dehydrated and malnourished which means that I’ll want him to at least stay the night for observation. Do you have any questions?”

 

“No doctor, I don’t think so,” Derek said tiredly. “You’ve been very helpful. Thank you.”

 

“It’s not a problem,” Dr. MacIntyre said with a small smile. “If you have any questions about anything, please don’t hesitate to use the call button on the wall behind you. Also, I want to talk to Dr. Reid as soon as he wakes up so if either you or one of your visitors could page a nurse when that happens, I’d be grateful.”

 

“Sure thing, doc,” Derek said, struggling to keep his eyes open.

 

Dr. MacIntyre nodded and said, “I’ll have your visitors sent in now.” He then turned around and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

 

Derek sighed and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to fall asleep until the team was there. He knew it was irrational, but he just didn’t want to leave Spencer alone without anyone to watch over him right now. He shook his head and told himself he was being ridiculous. Spencer probably would _not_ appreciate the overprotectiveness once he woke up and realized he was safe.


	6. Dreams and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note, I imagine all hospital gowns with closed backs even though I know that most of them in real life are open backed. This note may seem slightly pointless, but there is a detail in Spencer's dream that just doesn't work if the gown is open backed. Sorry if this screws with anyone's mental imaginations of the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter either way!

Derek jumped slightly when he heard the room door open, realizing that he had dozed off for a minute. He watched as the team filed into the room and smiled slightly at the familiarity of the people that he knew and loved. “Hey guys,” he said softly, his voice a little hoarse from exhaustion.

 

“Hey, dream boat!” Garcia exclaimed, practically running over to Derek’s bed and giving him a big bear hug. “Are you ok? Is Reid ok? What did the doctors say? What happened to the two of you?”

 

Derek chuckled at Garcia’s fast paced questions. “Slow down, baby girl! Spencer is ok for the most part.” Derek’s mood mellowed as he released a sigh. “The bastard broke his left hand and really did a number on him emotionally, but as for the rest… well, everyone better get comfortable because it’s quite a long story.”

 

He watched as everyone glanced at each other and then took seats. He wasn’t really looking forward to telling the story of his and Spencer’s captivity, but he knew that they would at least need to know for the extensive paperwork that was sure the follow.

 

“Do you want to treat this like a formal statement?” Hotch asked as soon as he made himself comfortable in a chair right next to Derek’s bed. At Derek’s nod, Hotch took a voice recorder out of his pocket, turned it on, and sat it on the end of Derek’s bed. “Derek Morgan interview, hostage situation with Spencer Reid,” Hotch said so the recording could be identified later. He then looked up at Derek and said, almost gently, “Just start whenever you’re ready.”

 

Derek nodded and took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily to compose himself, before he began recounting the events of their week in Hell. “On the night we were taken, Spencer and I had fallen asleep early, planning on getting an equally early start the next morning. Things didn’t quite go as planned though. Sometime in the middle of the night, I think I remember the clock saying 3:30 am or so, I woke up and went to the bathroom. When I came out, I could tell something was wrong. We always leave a lamp on low because of Spencer’s fear of the dark and when he’s asleep, he mumbles and talks… but, when I walked back into the room, the lamp was off and it was dead quiet. I tried to listen for someone moving or Spencer talking or _something_ , but there was nothing. I remember thinking about trying to make my way to the nightstand for my gun, but the next thing I knew, there was a stabbing pain in my neck and I was down for the count.

 

“I woke up on a cold concrete floor with my ankle chained to a wall. There was a toilet to my left, a long metal table-like-bed in front of me, a door to my right, and a clock on the wall right behind me. The first thing I did was stand up to look at the clock to try to determine how long I had been out, but then I saw Spencer lying motionless on that table in front of me. I hurried over to him and my confusion just grew. Spencer had been changed into a dingy hospital gown, both of his wrists were restrained by his sides onto the table, and there was an IV line running from his left arm to a bag on a stand on the other side of the table. He had a catheter in and a there was a bedpan under him.

 

“I tried to wake him up but he wouldn’t. I knew he was alive because I could see and hear him breathing, but he just wouldn’t wake up. I finally looked at the clock and I remember that it was around 7:30. I assumed it was AM, but since there were no windows, I wasn’t sure. I ended up finally going to sit down with my back against the wall, just trying to watch Spencer and listen for anything that could give me a clue as to where we were and what was going on.

 

“It was about an hour later when I heard the door unlock. I stood up and went over to Spencer, wanting to ready for anything. A short, slightly chubby man with grey hair, wearing scrubs and a lab coat walked in. He had a big smile on his face that told me whatever he was planning wasn’t going to be good for either of us.

 

“Before I could ask, he introduced himself as Matthew Palmer and said that he was going to be Spencer’s doctor for the duration of our stay. He acted as if we’d chosen to come there and see him as a professional! It was ridiculous!” Derek took a moment to breathe deeply and calm himself before he continued. “After that, he pretty much clammed up. He wouldn’t answer any of my questions or talk to me, but he did seem to mumble to himself and explain some things out loud as if he had an audience or something.”

 

Derek shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, really dreading talking about the next part. Even though he knew it was necessary to tell as much of what happened as possible, Derek still felt as if he were breaking Spencer’s trust by talking about him like that. He took a deep breath and looked down at his lap. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to get through the rest of the story if he had to stare at his coworkers while he said it. “Palmer… he, uh… he walked over into a corner of the room and wheeled over what looked like a medical cart with different tools, supplies, and an ultrasound machine on it. He then pulled out stirrups from the sides of the table that Spencer was on and lifted Spencer’s legs so his feet were in the stirrups. He unhinged the bottom of the table and then pushed Spencer’s gown up to his abdomen so his whole bottom was showing. He slid the bedpan out from under him, then walked over to the toilet to empty it before heading back over.

 

“He grabbed something off the table and pulled a chair over to sit eye-level with Spencer’s privates. I realized that he had a speculum and a pap smear scraper tool. I yelled at him and threatened him, hoping that it might scare him from… _violating_ Spencer… but he didn’t listen. I couldn’t reach him or else I would have wrapped my hands around his throat!” Derek took another deep breath and shook his head in disgust. “All I could do was run my fingers through Spencer’s hair and comfort him, even though, thank God, Spencer was still out like a light and didn’t seem to know what was going on. After he did that, he gave Spencer an internal exam with his finger –”

 

“Wait a minute,” Emily interrupted, looking confused. “You said he did a _pap smear_? Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Derek answered, growing angry. “I had front-row seats the entire time, remember?!”

 

“I-I’m sorry, Derek, but I’m pretty sure they don’t make pap smears for guys,” Emily said, honestly confused. “And last I checked, Reid didn’t have the right parts necessary for a pap.”

 

“And when have you ever checked Spence’s ‘parts’?” JJ answered angrily, putting air quotes up at the end of her question.

 

Derek sighed and realized that JJ and Hotch were probably the only ones on the team who were aware of Spencer’s correct gender. “Spencer _does_ have the right parts,” Derek said, hating that he had to reveal so much of Spencer’s personal life behind his back. “He’s what is called a Category X intersexed male. That means he has complete sets of male as well as female reproductive organs, inside and out. He once told me that intersexed people in general made up 15% of the world’s population but Category X’s only made up 2% of all intersexed people so they’re relatively rare.”

 

“I-I am _so_ sorry, Derek,” Emily apologized, genuinely regretful for having assumed. “I’ve heard of intersexed people; I’m aware of them…. I just… he’s never said anything!”

 

“Of course he didn’t!” Derek snapped, glaring at Emily even though he knew that she wasn’t being hurtful or prejudiced on purpose. “You just practically referred to Spencer as ‘one of them’ and nothing else! He isn’t his gender, no matter what anyone may believe!”

 

“I know,” Emily said quickly, putting her hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. Honestly! I care about Reid and I don’t want him to feel isolated or left out because of _anything_ let alone his gender. I was just surprised, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

 

Derek sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “I know,” he said eventually, opening his eyes and looking at Emily. He vaguely wondered why only Emily had really been surprised by the announcement that Spencer was, yet again, different than most other people… but then he reasoned that the others had probably either already figured it out or just didn’t find it to be a big deal. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m just very tired and, as you can probably imagine, it’s been a trying week.”

 

Hotch nodded and leaned over to turn the recorder off. “Why don’t you get some rest and we’ll continue this later.”

 

Derek ran a hand over his face and thought that Hotch was probably right. If he didn’t rest, he’d end up missing something or falling asleep during the interview. He looked up and was about to agree when he heard a soft moan coming from Spencer’s bed.

 

Derek sat straight up and looked over at Spencer, who was panting slightly and covered in sweat. He was tossing his head back and forth on his pillow and his whole body was shaking as he let out little moaning sobs of what sounded like pain and anguish.

 

“Spencer,” Derek said and immediately got up off the bed and made his way over to Spencer’s. He brushed Spencer’s hair out of his face and grabbed his right hand tightly. “Spencer, sweetie, wake up, it’s ok, it’s just a bad dream,” he said gently, lightly shaking Spencer’s shoulder and tapping his face to get him to snap out of it. Unfortunately, Derek’s words fell on deaf ears and his gentle gestures went unfelt.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer woke up on a bed in an empty room. He recognized that he was in a hospital of some sort but there were no sounds or smells typical of normal hospital life. “This has to be a dream,” he mumbled to himself as he sat up and looked around. He was still wearing the dirty and stained hospital gown that Palmer had put him in and he wasn’t hooked up to any of the normal hospital machines. “Yep, definitely a dream.”

 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. ‘ _What if it’s not a dream, though,’_ his subconscious whispered to him. ‘ _What if they just gave up on you and left you in this strange place all on your own?’_ Spencer shuddered at the thought but then shook his head. “Stop being silly! Derek already told you that he would never leave you!”

 

Spencer sighed as the little voice answered with, ‘ _Can you really trust that, though? Are you really willing to risk everything on faith like that?’_

 

Spencer moaned and closed his eyes. He believed Derek! He really did! ‘ _But if you really did, would I be here offering you doubt?’_ Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose and was about to answer (even though he knew he was essentially talking to himself) when he felt his stomach rumble violently. He threw his arms around his abdomen as he felt his stomach roll, gurgle, and growl uncomfortably.

 

Suddenly, a strange sensation overwhelmed him and he froze, his eyes growing wide. The skin on his abdomen felt like it was slowly and painfully being stretched and he abruptly found his arms hugging belly that wasn’t there a moment ago. He let out a soft whimper as he unwrapped his arms and looked down at himself. Sure enough, where there had once been a flat stomach, a little rounded belly was now pushing on the front of the hospital gown.

 

He hesitantly reached a hand down to touch his new protruding belly when he felt his stomach grumble and gurgle once more. He gasped in pain as his skin stretched further around his rapidly growing middle. He whimpered and put both hands on his swollen, rounded abdomen, noticing that it felt as hard as granite.

 

Spencer panted and sweat broke out on his face from a mixture of panic and pain as the growth halted for a moment. He looked down at his now rather large belly straining against the front of the gown, uncomfortably tight. He reached down and began to peel the now too-tight gown up over the swell. He sighed in relief as he felt his belly spring slightly forth when the confinement was taken away.

 

He looked at his distended abdomen, the skin angry and red from being stretched so violently so fast, and ran his hands over his new contours. A pain shot up his lower back as he realized how heavy he had gotten. He quickly put one hand on his lower back and leaned into it so that his back was arched slightly, moving the weight from his back to his hips.

 

Spencer sighed, thinking that maybe this ordeal was over for the time being, when he suddenly felt the strange stretching sensation in his chest this time. He gasped as he watched his breasts round and expand. With one hand, he pulled the gown up further so that he was holding the hem under his chin. He watched his nipples darken and elongate, sticking forward, pert and erect, as his breasts jiggled slightly like they were filled with water.

 

Before he had a chance to ponder or feel his newly developed breasts to see if they were really _real_ , his stomach groaned, grumbled, and rolled once more. “Oh no, not again!” he pleaded to himself as he felt his belly expand and distend even further. He brought his arms around to hug his swelling abdomen but could no longer reach completely around himself. He felt his belly button spring forth, the pressure behind it too great to remain in place any longer.

 

Spencer’s knees suddenly buckled under the steadily increasing weight and he fell heavily to the ground. He cried out as pain shot up through his tailbone and into his back, having landed directly on his butt with his knees bent so his legs were facing back on either side of him. He whimpered and attempted to lay down on his side, but he could barely move. His belly was so big, dense and full that he literally felt as if he would explode from the pressure pushing on him from the inside.

 

When the swelling stopped once again, Spencer sighed and let his head fall forward. What was he going to do?! He was obviously pregnant, and _extremely_ so, but how had this happened so fast? What had Palmer injected him with, alien spawn?! He shuddered at that idea, telling himself that he was being ridiculous, when he suddenly felt something inside him moving and rolling around.

 

Spencer panicked, thinking that his belly was going to start swelling again, but then realized that what he was feeling was kicking. He put his hand where he had felt the sensation when suddenly, he felt it again but on the other side. Confused, he put his other hand on that side of his hot, tight abdomen, but then he felt the kicking simultaneously in the front next to his naval, the top of his roundness, and the bottom that was touching the floor. The kicking on either side also picked up and he just started rubbing his hands in a circular motion wherever he could reach, wondering just how many of them were in there.

 

He shook his head from side to side, starting out slowly but quickly building speed as he refused to accept his current situation. ‘ _This can’t_ _be_ real _!’_ he thought worriedly to himself. ‘ _It just_ can’t _be!’_ However, before he could deny his condition any longer, a sudden pain shot through his belly and he felt his muscles contract harshly, pulling a scream from his lips at the harshness of it. He rubbed his belly harder, trying to massage the pain away, but then he felt liquid gush from between his legs and spread over the floor in a large puddle.

 

“Oh God, I’m in labor,” he whispered, his voice shaking and tears springing to his eyes. The pain subsided only to be redoubled a moment later. He screamed as he felt his belly ripple from the contraction and he suddenly had the overwhelming need to push. He sobbed, both at the pain and in desperation. He knew he was all alone but he couldn’t stop himself from crying out, “Help! Someone please help me!”

 

As the next contraction ripped through him, a white light obscured his vision and he thought he might be passing out from the pain and different emotions flowing freely through him. However, he felt his eyes suddenly shoot open and he was staring up into the beautiful face of Derek Morgan.

 

Spencer had never felt such relief in his entire life as he realized that he had, indeed, been dreaming and was now laying on a hospital bed, attached to machines, covered in sweat, and panting. Then he noticed that, along with Derek, the entire BAU team was also standing around him, looking worried and concerned. “Oh god,” he moaned and started to sob and shudder. He was afraid to close his eyes; afraid that he would be sucked back into that place of utter helplessness.

 

“Shhhh…” Derek soothed, brushing the hair out of Spencer’s face and wiping the tears from his eyes. “It was just a bad dream, baby boy… you’re safe now… it’s all gonna be ok.”

 

Spencer quickly reached down and felt over his abdomen, making extra sure that he really _had_ completely woken up from his dream. When he felt nothing but his slightly concave stomach, he closed his eyes in relief. He continued to sob as Derek soothed him and eventually, he fell back into a, hopefully dreamless, sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek sighed and stood there until he was certain that Spencer was asleep, continually trying to comfort his obviously ailing lover. By the way Spencer had ran a hand over his abdomen, Derek was pretty sure he knew what his nightmare had consisted of. Of course Spencer would be worried that he was pregnant! Anyone would if they had just gone through what Spencer had. Hell, Derek _himself_ was worried!

 

Derek had always wanted to have children, but he also never wanted to push Spencer into the idea. Now, however, neither of them really had any choice. If Spencer was indeed pregnant, however, Derek knew that he would support whatever Spencer wanted to do. If Spencer wanted to abort, no matter how that idea appalled Derek, then Derek would support him and hold his hand the entire time. If Spencer wanted to go through with the pregnancy, but adopt the child out, then Derek would support him even though it made his heart ache to even think about that option. If Spencer wasn’t pregnant, Derek wouldn’t act disappointed, even though he had already started thinking about what it would feel like to be a father and how good a parent Spencer would make… _and_ about how cute and sexy Spencer would look, round with Derek’s child.

 

Derek took a deep breath and let it out before he made his way back to his own bed. Luckily, the team got the idea and didn’t ask him any questions or make any comments. He laid down and closed his eyes, muttering, “Someone please wake me up if he has another nightmare or wakes up again?” Before he heard an answer, however, he was fast asleep.


	7. Worried Thoughts and Frightened Musings

Derek woke up to the sound of knitting needles clacking together. He looked over to his right and saw Garcia sitting in a chair next to the bed, quickly knitting what looked like a large purple blanket. “Hey baby girl,” he croaked out, then cleared his throat. “What are you up to?”

 

Garcia jumped slightly at the sudden sound of Derek’s voice in the relatively quiet room, but quickly lifted her head and beamed a bright smile at him. “Hey, yourself, sweetness,” she greeted gently. “Are you feeling any better?”

 

Derek nodded then yawned and stretched. “Yeah, the rest really helped. How long was I out?”

 

“Just a couple hours,” Garcia said, stowing her knitting project back into her large Vera Bradley bag. “I told everyone else to go get dinner somewhere while I waited and kept an eye on you boys.”

 

“Thanks, mama,” Derek said sincerely as he sat up straighter in bed. “Did Spencer wake up or did anything happen?”

 

“Nope, he’s been sleeping like a baby the last few hours,” Garcia said, standing up and stretching. She then patted Derek’s knee and looked him in the eye. “You both are going to be fine. I just know it! And I’ll be here to help with whatever I can!” she said firmly but with a smile on her face.

 

“I know, baby girl, and I appreciate that,” Derek said, a small smile appearing on his face. “I’m just worried about him, that’s all.”

 

As if he knew he was being talked about, Spencer groaned loudly and shifted on his bed. Garcia looked over and saw Spencer’s eyes slowly open and stare at the ceiling in a glazed sort of way. “Reid, are you awake?” she called over, growing slightly concerned when he didn’t answer.

 

Derek also noticed the way Spencer was staring and recognized the look immediately. “He’s just thinking, baby girl,” he said gently, hoping to wipe the worried look off her face. “Sometimes, when he has a lot on his mind, he’ll wake up like that and just think… awake but not awake. Just give him a few minutes and he’ll wake up for real.”

 

Garcia pursed her lips and looked as if she didn’t believe what Derek had just said. Eventually, though, she just nodded and said, “Whatever you say, hot stuff. You know him better than any of us.”

 

Derek smiled and turned his head toward Spencer and just watched as his lover thought, hoping that he would snap out of it quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer opened his eyes and just stared straight up, not really noticing anything around him. He was vaguely aware of voices off to his right, but he didn’t pay attention to them. All he thought about was what had happened to him and that awful dream from before. He’d never felt so helpless in his entire life as he’d felt in Palmer’s captivity and in that dream. At least when he’d been with Palmer, Derek had been there as a little buffer to the pain and embarrassment of the situation. But that dream… he had been utterly helpless and alone, in an absolutely frightening and painful situation. He just didn’t know how to deal with that.

 

To try to cope, he attempted to think _around_ the situation instead of about it. How had he felt in certain _moments_ rather than overall? Besides the pain and fear, was there anything else present? The more Spencer thought this way, though, the more he found that it had felt oddly… satisfying to be so full, round, and heavy with child. Maybe it was just the hormones coursing through his body, but he suddenly found himself very sad that his body contours _hadn’t_ changed. He felt tears spring to his eyes and he quickly rubbed them away. He was being ridiculous! There was every chance that he very well _could_ be pregnant! That thought suddenly scared him, however. Did he want a baby or did he just want to be pregnant? Because if he wasn’t ready for a child, the whole pregnancy would just be pointless and stressful…

 

As he started to calm down, another horrifying thought entered his head. ‘ _What if I_ am _pregnant and Derek doesn’t want children?’_ he nervously thought. ‘ _He said he’d stay with me no matter what… but was he just trying to soothe me at that moment? Or was he being serious? Oh God, what am I going to do?!’_

 

Spencer felt himself start to hyperventilate at the direction his thoughts were taking. He gripped the blankets with his hands and felt himself growing nauseous. Then he heard a low, calming voice from off to his right that almost instantly comforted him. He blinked a couple time and turned his head. He met eyes with Derek and he felt a small smile grow on his face. He swallowed and cleared his throat. “Hey,” he whispered, not having enough energy to raise his voice any louder.

 

“Hey,” Derek said gently but happily. “How are you feeling, baby boy?”

 

“I’m ok,” he answered, subconsciously putting his arm across his abdomen. He suddenly noticed Garcia in the room, standing next to Derek’s bed, and smiled at her. “Hi, Garcia.”

 

“Hey, you!” Garcia exclaimed and slowly walked over to Spencer’s bed, obviously holding herself back from running and jumping on him in excitement. She didn’t know exactly what he had been through, but she knew she didn’t want to scare him or make him feel uncomfortable. “Can I give you hug?”

 

Spencer nodded slightly and held out his right arm to bring her in. They shared a short hug and as soon as Garcia pulled back, Spencer immediately put his arm back over his abdomen.

 

Garcia saw this and frowned. “What’s wrong sweetie,” she asked worriedly. “Does your tummy hurt?”

 

Spencer looked confused but then looked down at his abdomen. As if just realizing that his arm was there, he quickly pulled it away and laid it by his side. “No, I’m fine,” he answered while shaking his head, refusing to meet her eyes.

 

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his face. He knew it was going to take Spencer a long time to get over what had happened to them, but he couldn’t help holding out a little hope that he would just be the same old Spencer as before. Hoping to change the subject and get Spencer’s mind off of whatever he was thinking about, Derek said, “Do you think you’re going to be awake for a while this time, baby boy?”

 

Spencer looked over at Derek gratefully, knowing that Derek had stepped in so that Spencer wouldn’t have to explain his actions to Garcia. “I hope so,” he said but then yawned, completely negating his statement.

 

Derek chuckled slightly and shook his head in amusement. “Well the doctor wanted to talk to you when you woke up, so I suppose we should call him.”

 

Garcia immediately stepping toward Derek and said, “I’ll go get him. That way he can talk to you all in private.” She smiled and started to walk to the door.

 

“Thanks baby girl,” Derek said, smiling back at her.

 

“No problem!” she exclaimed happily. “I’ll be right outside the door so I can come right back in after he leaves, ok?”

 

“Alright, mama, sounds good,” Derek agreed and, after Garcia had left the room, he got up out of bed and walked over to Spencer, dragging the IV stand behind him. He smiled down at Spencer and then sat on the edge of his bed, grabbing Spencer’s right hand in his own.

 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Spencer asked, but smiled anyway, glad for the support that Derek was providing.

 

“Nah!” Derek answered teasingly with a blinding smile on his face. “I was just a little dehydrated so as long as I keep the IV stand attached to me, I’ll be fine.”

 

“What about your arm?” Spencer asked quietly, noticing the white bandages that contrasted sharply with Derek’s dark skin.

 

“Just some superficial cuts,” Derek answered lightly, the smile still on his face. “Only a few needed stitches and so far I’ve had no infections or anything to really worry about.”

 

Before Spencer could form any response to Derek’s words, however, the room door opened and Dr. MacIntyer walked in. “Hello, Dr. Reid, it’s good to see you awake,” he greeted, walking over to Spencer’s bed and holding his hand out to shake Spencer’s. “My name is Dr. Albert MacIntyer and I’ve been in charge of your care.”

 

Spencer, even though he didn’t like to shake hands with people, dislodged his hand from Derek’s and shook the doctor’s. As soon as the handshake was over, though, Spencer immediately reached for Derek’s hand again, pleased when Derek quickly grasped it once more.

 

“Alright, Dr. Reid,” Dr. MacIntyer started, not commenting on Derek’s presence beside Spencer. “I briefed Mr. Morgan on your condition a few hours ago, but since then I’ve gotten your blood work back and have a little better understanding on how best to treat you.”

 

“Ok,” Spencer said, nodding, slightly nervous about what the doctor would say.

 

“I’m going to start with what I already told Mr. Morgan,” Dr. MacIntyer said, looking down at the tablet in his hands. “You presented with a stab wound to your left hand which went all the way through the back of the hand and into the palm. The force broke your index and middle metacarpal bones. I set those bones and put your hand in a hard brace instead of cast. It’ll be more comfortable for you and your hand will heal just the same. You’ll need to keep the brace on for at least of 3 weeks and after that you might need physical therapy to regain full usage. Overall though, your hand should heal just fine.

 

“An extensive physical examination while you were still sedated revealed that your vagina, cervix, and uterus have all been severely abused. There is a significant amount of scarring and it appears as if the lining of your uterus has been artificially thickened. Mr. Morgan informed me about the crude IVF procedure that was performed on you, which explained the thickening. Your bloodwork also showed a significant amount of estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, gonadotrophin, hCG, ketamine, and, what looks like, quite a strong testosterone suppressant in your system. It appears as if the ketamine was used to keep you unconscious as well as injected into your back as a spinal block. That block should wear off in a few hours, but until that happens, I’ve continued to keep you catheterized.   The muscles in your legs have slightly atrophied from lack of use and you’ll probably, again, need some physical therapy but you should regain full movement and strength.

 

There isn’t much by way of medication that I can recommend unless you’re in significant pain. The way that the procedure was conducted, the most I’m worried about is infection so I’m going to start you on a round of antibiotics that will be added to your IV drip. Other than that, you were extremely dehydrated and malnourished which means that I want you to stay at least one night for observation and during that time, I’ll want you to eat at least one meal. Do you have any questions?”

 

Spencer swallowed nervously, trying to understand what he had just been told, but nodded his head and cleared his throat. “Do you, uh… Do you know if the… uh… _procedure_ was successful?”  


Dr. MacIntyer cleared his throat with a cough and said, “Since the IVF procedure was only completed this morning, it is too early to determine whether there was successful implantation. I want you to see either your primary physician or your gynecologist in about a week to ten days so a determination _can_ be made.”

 

Spencer nodded and closed his eyes momentarily. He knew that it was too early to tell but it was still frustrating not to have an immediate answer. ‘ _Although this_ does _give you more time to think about what you want,’_ he thought to himself. It was true; he hadn’t really decided yet what he wanted as an outcome to this whole ordeal. He knew for a fact that if he was pregnant, he could never go through with an abortion, even if that meant losing Derek in the process. Spencer just couldn’t bring himself to destroy anything that shared Derek’s DNA; it was just too precious to him. He sighed and knew he would have to talk to Derek about this whole situation.

 

When Spencer didn’t say anything more, Dr. MacIntyer just nodded his head, made a few notes on his tablet, and said, “I’ll have a nurse come in and change out your IV bags as well as check your catheter. Call for a nurse if you have any questions or concerns.”

 

“Thank you doctor,” Derek said as Dr. MacIntyer walked out the door and closed it behind him. He then looked over at Spencer, who had just frozen in place with his eyes glazed over. Derek knew that Spencer was thinking and mulling the situation over in his head, but he also knew that they needed to talk about what was bugging both of them. “Baby boy?” he said gently and laid a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.

 

Spencer shook himself out of his thoughts and stared at Derek’s worried face. He gave a small smile and said, “I know we need to talk… I just… don’t know if I _can_ right now, Derek.”

 

“I know you’re hurting, pretty boy,” Derek said, bringing Spencer into a hug and rubbing his hand up and down his spine. “And, yes, we need to talk… but if you’re more comfortable with it, we can wait until you’re discharged and we’re home.”

 

Spencer nodded and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” he softly answered and just let himself melt into Derek’s embrace.

 

A few minutes later, a soft knock sounded on the door and Garcia stuck her head in. “Is everyone decent?” she asked playfully.

 

“Are we ever?” Derek called back with a laugh as he broke his and Spencer’s embrace and grabbed Spencer’s hand once more.

 

“Well you’d better be because I’m not alone,” she answered with a smile and pushed the door wide, revealing the rest of the team all with similar smiles on their faces. “I also brought presents for my two troublesome boys!” Garcia exclaimed and walked through the door holding a giant gift basket filled to the brim with candies, stuffed animals, and other Garcia-esque things.

 

“Thanks, mama, but you didn’t have to,” Derek said as she put the basket on his empty hospital bed.

 

“Oh but it was my pleasure!” Garcia said happily as she turned around to face Derek and Spencer.

 

The rest of the team, by this time, had made their way into the room and JJ, having seen that Spencer was awake, had rushed over and given him a big hug. “Oh, Spence!” she said in a watery voice, close to tears. “I’m so glad you’re awake! How do you feel?” She put him at arm’s length and looked him over, trying to determine the answer on her own.

 

“I’m ok, JJ,” Spencer said softly and with a little smile on his face.

 

JJ nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. She knew Spencer well enough to know that he was in pain but was trying to be strong. “I know better than that,” she said gently and cupped Spencer’s cheek in her hand. “But I’ll accept it for now.” She then patted his face and stepped back so someone else could come greet him.

 

One by one each team member either hugged or told Spencer that they were glad he was awake and seemed to be ok for now. In the middle of this, Garcia got a wide smile on her face and quietly slipped out of the room without a word.

 

The greetings and small talk was interrupted by a knock on the door and a short, plump nurse with a smile on her face and a tray in her hands walking into the room. “My, this room is crowded!” she said good-naturedly. She placed the tray on the rolling, over-the-bed table next to Spencer and said, “Ok, Dr. Reid, here is your dinner. Dr. MacIntyer wants you to finish as much as you can so we can fight off that malnutrition. Sound good?”

 

Spencer nodded but had a slightly fearful look in his eyes as he stared at the tray full of hospital food. His stomach suddenly rumbled loudly as the smell of the food wafted toward him. He blushed slightly and cursed the fact that he couldn’t curl his legs up to his chest.

 

The nurse smiled but didn’t comment on Spencer’s actions or silence. She then turned to Derek and pulled some papers out of her pocket. “The doctor said that all your tests came back normal Mr. Morgan and you can leave whenever you want. Here are your discharge papers.” She handed him the papers, gave one last smile to the room, and then left.

 

Derek got up from his position on the side of Spencer’s bed and pressed the button to raise the head of the bed so that Spencer was sitting up almost all the way. He then rolled the table over in front of him and made sure that everything was within arm’s reach. Derek had seen the frightened look in Spencer’s eyes when the nurse had told him to eat as much as he could, so he said, “Alright, sweetheart, now you don’t have to finish this. Just eat as much as you feel comfortable with, ok?”

 

Spencer relaxed slightly and nodded. He started to reach for the fork when JJ, confused at Derek’s statement, said, “You really should finish it, Spence. You’re already skinny so malnourishment can’t be good for you!” JJ smiled warmly at Spencer, but was only rewarded with a frightened, wide-eyed look from him.

 

Derek sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Spencer, you do _not_ have to eat, ok? No one is going to make you,” he said clearly in a firm voice, putting his hand on Spencer’s shoulder to emphasize his point.

 

JJ, highly confused at this point, started to argue. “But, Morgan –”

 

“JJ stop!” Derek interrupted angrily, whipping around to face her. He took a deep breath and squeezed Spencer’s shoulder comfortingly. He turned back to face Spencer and, in a much calmer and gentler voice, he said, “I’ve got to go hand in my discharge papers at the front desk, but I’ll be right back, ok? Now, you only eat what you want to eat. If you don’t want to eat at all, you don’t have to.” Derek then kissed Spencer on the forehead and stood up straight. He glared at JJ and said, “Would you walk me down there, JJ?”

 

JJ nodded but didn’t say anything, knowing that she had messed up somehow. They both left the room, leaving only silence behind as Spencer stared sadly at the tray of food and the rest of the team tried to figure out what the Hell was going on.


	8. Do I Have To?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay in updates (things got super hectic suddenly for some reason lol). Hope you enjoy this chapter and, as always, I enjoy comments and kudos!

Derek and JJ walked in silence toward the elevator that would take them down to the main level. As soon as they were both in the elevator and alone, Derek sighed and looked over at JJ. “He forced us to eat,” he said quietly.

 

JJ cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Why was Spence malnourished, then?”

 

Derek shook his head and closed his eyes. “Spencer was unconscious until the last day we were there,” he said softly, opening his eyes to stare sadly at JJ. “Palmer would bring in food for me once or twice a day and threaten to put in a feeding tube if I didn’t finish everything he brought. I knew he was serious because he did it when I tried to rebel and didn’t eat the first day.” Derek sighed again and rubbed his hand over his head before he continued. “What he brought me usually wasn’t a problem because it was generally just a sandwich or something manageable. When Spencer woke up, though, he brought in two huge plates of food and wanted us to finish them. Spencer was still shackled to the table Palmer had him on so I had to feed him. He ate as much as he could and more without throwing up but he was so scared and uncomfortable… It just broke my heart. I ended up finishing my plate and the rest of his, but all he could do was apologize to me.”

 

JJ closed her eyes and put a hand up to her mouth, looking as if she might be sick. “Oh god… I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s alright,” Derek said and put a hand on JJ’s shoulder to comfort her. “You didn’t know. I just wanted to explain what was going on.”

 

“I appreciate that,” JJ said softly and ran a hand down her face. “I just feel so terrible!”

 

“Don’t,” Derek said as the elevator dinged for the main floor. “Just don’t try to force him to eat or talk or… really anything. I honestly don’t know what could set him off at the moment so… better safe than sorry.”

 

JJ just nodded and walked out of the elevator, following Derek and thinking about how this whole situation might have permanently changed one of her best friends.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer stared at the food on his plate as his stomach grumbled and growled in a demanding fashion. He hadn’t touched it or said anything since Derek and JJ left the room. He just stared at it, as if in a standoff.

 

“Why don’t you eat something?” Rossi suggested finally. The whole room could hear Spencer’s stomach begging for food, but the team also knew that something had happened that was now, psychologically, preventing Spencer from eating.

 

Spencer glanced up at Rossi, noticing absently that he, Hotch, and Emily had found chairs and were sitting down near the end of his bed. “Do I have to?” Spencer whimpered, his lower lip quivering.

 

Rossi scrunched his eyebrows together in concern and sighed. “No, Reid, you don’t have to do anything. I just thought you might feel better if you had something in your stomach,” he said gently, giving Spencer a small, encouraging smile.

 

“Something in my stomach,” Spencer mumbled, looking back toward the food and placing his right hand on his abdomen, palm down and fingers splayed. “Something in my stomach…”

 

Hotch could see Spencer’s eyes grow a little distant as he began to slip into his own thoughts, so he got up out of his chair, walked over to the bed, and put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “Reid,” he said gently, keeping his grip on the thin shoulder when Spencer jumped in surprise at Hotch’s presence.

 

Spencer slowly turned his head to look up at Hotch, a lost look on his face. “Did Derek tell you what happened to us?” he asked in a small voice.

 

“He talked about some of it but didn’t get a chance to finish,” Hotch said slowly and clearly, slightly concerned with just how distant Spencer seemed to be at the moment. “Would you like to talk about it?”

 

“I-I-I…” Spencer stuttered, licking his lips nervously. He wrapped his arms tightly around his torso, making himself smaller than he already was.

 

“It’s ok if you can’t talk about it yet,” Hotch said gently, moving his hand from Spencer’s shoulder over and down to rub circles on Spencer’s back. “How about I just turn the recorder on and you can talk about whatever you want. Ok?”

 

Spencer thought about that a moment but then nodded his head. He stared at his lap as Hotch pulled the recorder out of his pocket, turned it on, and laid it on the table next to the food.

 

“Spencer Reid interview, hostage situation with Derek Morgan,” Hotch said firmly for the recording. He then turned back to Spencer and softened slightly. “Just talk about whatever you want or can, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded again but continued to stare down, not wanting to look at anyone as he spoke. He sniffed and then cleared his throat before he began to talk in a small voice that clearly showed his hopelessness and devastation. “I woke up and couldn’t move my arms or legs. I was so scared. Derek tried to comfort me, but my emotions were all over the place. Derek told me that our captor had used a spinal block on me and that he had been pumping me with stuff but wouldn’t say what it was. He also said that Palmer… the unsub… had looked at my… um… my private area… and had given me a variety of internal exams. When he finally came into the room, he told me that he had been injecting hormones into me: his own special mixture of estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, gonadotrophin, hCG, and testosterone suppressants. He said it was, uh… it was to… prepare my body for his… experimental treatment.”

 

Spencer took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, trying to fight back tears. He cleared his throat again and kept his eyes closed as he continued. “He forced Derek to feed me. He said that if we didn’t eat everything we were given, he’d put feeding tubes in us. Derek said he was serious because he had done it to him when Derek didn’t eat the first day. I was still unconscious at the time, but Derek said that Palmer had threatened to hurt me, so Derek allowed him to chain him to a wall and shove a feeding tube down his throat until Derek agreed to eat.” Spencer whimpered and hugged himself tighter. “I ate as much as I could and more… but it was uncomfortable and painful and embarrassing… I felt so bad because Derek had to eat his _and_ the rest of mine.”

 

Spencer started to sob, his breath hitching and tears running down his face even though he had his eyes screwed shut as tight as he could manage. “When Palmer came back in… I told him it was too much food… h-he s-s-said… that I would get used to that much food soon enough… because he was confident that his… tr-tr-treatment would w-work.”

 

Spencer had to take a few minutes to gather himself at this point because he was sobbing so hard. Emily got up and found a box of tissues for him to wipe his eyes and blow his nose, but soon enough, he was composed enough to finish his narrative. “He put my legs up in stirrups and inserted a speculum. Derek tried to stop him, but he threatened to cut out my kneecap if Derek didn’t back off. He then grabbed a specimen cup and told Derek to provide a semen sample. When Derek didn’t cooperate right away, Palmer threatened to rape me right then and there… so Derek complied…

 

“Palmer had an ultrasound probe with a long needle attached to the end… He stuck it in me and sucked out… um…” Spencer wasn’t sure how to proceed though. He knew that Hotch knew about his gender because Hotch was his medical proxy and so he _had_ to know. But Spencer didn’t know if Rossi and Emily knew. Spencer had never told them, but they were also some of the best profilers in the world so maybe they had figured it out? Or maybe Derek told them? He decided to just ask. “Do you, uh… know about my um… my gender?”

 

Spencer opened his eyes and glanced up at the three profilers who, surprisingly, all had encouraging little smiles on their faces. He tried to smile back but it felt like more of a grimace.

 

“We’re all aware, Reid,” Hotch said gently and gestured for him to continue to speak.

 

Spencer nodded and moved his head back down to stare at his lap. “He harvested my eggs,” he said so softly it was almost a whisper. He then sniffed and cleared his throat once more. “He had a bottle that was hand-labeled so I don’t know if it was what it said it was or not, but it said ‘Progesterone Pessary.” It was a clear cream and he liberally coated me… as far in as he could shove his fingers… Then he left and I eventually fell asleep. I think I was out for a few hours, but I kept having nightmares. After a while, maybe the next morning, I don’t know… time was hard to judge in there, even with the clock… or was there a clock? I don’t remember it being there later… Anyway, Palmer came in and said things were progressing faster than he’d hoped, so he put my feet back up in the stirrups and grabbed one of the biggest needles I have ever seen in my entire life. He said the syringe was filled with 6 ounces of progesterone and oxytocin… He said it was the final step of preparing me… preparing me for… for the implantation. The spinal block had started to wear off and when he shoved that needle into my uterus, I thought I was going to die. It hurt so bad…”

 

He licked his lips and took in a shuttering breath. “He left and came back a few moments later with a specimen cup filled with… with uh… what he said was… fertilized eggs and sperm. He said that he knew the normal number was two or three, but he didn’t have time to wait to see if any of the eggs were 100% viable so he decided to inject me with ten fertilized eggs and all the leftover sperm he didn’t use… Maybe then a few would actually be successful.

 

“I started panicking and Derek was yelling at him to stop. Palmer threatened to hurt me and drew a knife from his pocket. Derek challenged him so Palmer… he stabbed me in the hand. Then he grabbed the ultrasound probe with the needle, filled the needle with the sperm and egg mixture, and shoved it violently into me. He told Derek that he had made him do that and to just shut up so he could concentrate… So he took the probe back out and put it in right the second time. It was so uncomfortable, but after a few minutes, he said that it was done, so he pulled the probe out and coated me again with the pessary gel.”

 

Spencer let out a mirthless chuckle. “He then said that I was such a good boy so I deserved a reward. He unbound one of my wrists and turned me on my side. I felt him stick a needle into my back and knew he was reapplying the spinal block. When he was done, he laid me back down and unbound my other wrist. He left the room and came back in a few moments later with a doll… He gave it to me and said it was my present.”

 

Spencer sneered and got an angry look on his face. “I held it for a while, just as something to do with my hands… but then I got angry and threw it across the room. When he came back in a few hours later with what he called a ‘celebratory meal,’ he saw the doll by the door and got angry. He came over to shackle my wrists again but when he turned his back on Derek, Derek threw his arms around his neck and squeezed until Palmer passed out… You all pretty much know the rest. Derek found his keys and unlocked us both, then locked Palmer in the chain that Derek had been locked in. Derek carried me out of the room, we found a phone, and we called Garcia.”

 

There was a silence in the room when Spencer stopped talking, the other three profilers trying to process what Spencer had just said.

 

“So, wait,” Emily said after a bit. “What exactly was this guy trying to do? I don’t understand.”

 

Spencer sighed and rubbed his uninjured hand over his face. “Intersexed males aren’t very fertile. We’re both male and female, but we have less eggs that a normal female and less sperm than a normal male. Palmer said that he had discovered the perfect mixture of hormones and drugs to increase male fertility and so he just needed someone to try it out on… H-He never said, but… I-I’m guessing that’s why he kidnapped and killed other homosexual male couples before he got to Derek and me… he was looking for a Category X and he finally found it in me.”

 

“So did it work?” Emily asked curiously but with a look of disbelief on her face. “Are you pregnant?”

 

Spencer clenched his teeth together and stiffly said, “Is that information pertinent to this interview?” He stared only at Hotch, afraid he might lash out if he looked anywhere else.

 

“No, it’s not,” Hotch immediately answered and then glared over at Emily.

 

Emily blushed and muttered, “I’m sorry. I was just curious.”

 

Spencer cleared his throat and sighed. He felt bad for getting mad, but Emily could be so pushy and nosey sometimes and she didn’t even seem to _realize_ how she was acting. “It’s alright,” Spencer said softly, averting his gaze away from this teammates once more. “I actually don’t know. It’s too soon to tell.”

 

Spencer then fell silent once more and Hotch got up to switch off the recorder. “Thank you, Reid,” Hotch said sincerely, trying to make eye contact with Spencer but failing. “You’ve been a big help.”

 

Spencer just shrugged one shoulder and continued to look down. After a few moments, he finally moved to pick up his fork and spear some food, unable to ignore his hunger any longer.

 

* * *

 

 

When Derek walked back into the room with JJ and saw Spencer picking at his food, he smiled slightly. ‘ _At least he’s_ attempting _to eat,’_ he thought to himself happily. He had been worried that Spencer would refuse to eat altogether after his confrontation with JJ, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

 

He walked over and kissed Spencer on the temple and Spencer smiled at him. “How are you feeling, baby?” Derek asked softly, almost whispering in his ear.

 

“I’m ok,” Spencer answered, trying to sound confident but failing miserably. He sighed and leaned his head back against the bed pillows. “Maybe a little less than ok, but I’ll _be_ ok… eventually.”

 

Derek gave him a sad smile and a quick nod of his head. “Fair enough,” he said and kissed him on the side of the head once more. He then walked over and sat on the edge of the bed that had the large gift basket on it and looked around. He scrunched his eyebrows together in a confused manner and said, “Wait a minute, where’s Garcia?”

 

Everyone except for Spencer suddenly looked around them as if just realizing that the exuberant blonde was nowhere in sight. Spencer, still picking at his food, quietly said, “She slipped out before the nurse came in with the food. She had a smile on her face so there’s no telling what she went to do.”

 

Derek laughed out loud and shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice her leaving. I mean, seriously, Garcia is kind of hard to miss.”

 

“You better believe it, handsome,” said a loud voice that drew everyone’s attention toward the open room door. Garcia walked in with her hands behind her back and a wide smile on her face. She looked directly at Spencer and said, “I noticed you were still a little down, so I went out and go something that I know will bring a smile to that angelic face of yours.”

 

Spencer’s eyes grew wide and he was about to argue and tell Garcia that he didn’t need anything, but then she brought her hands out from behind her back. She was holding the largest Styrofoam go-cup that Spencer had ever seen. “Is that…” he asked hesitantly, really not wanting to get his hopes up.

 

“You betcha, 187,” Garcia said enthusiastically. “It’s the sweetest, sugary-est, most coffee-est coffee I could find… in the biggest _cup_ I could find!”

 

“I think I love you,” Spencer blurted out and smiled wide.

 

“Hey, what about me?!” Derek exclaimed in mock affront. The smile on his face completely contradicted his words, however.

 

“Sorry, you don’t have coffee,” Spencer shot back and reached needy hands out for the cup Garcia was holding.

 

The whole room burst out laughing and Garcia started to walk toward Spencer’s bed. When she got close enough to him, he awkwardly grabbed the cup and held it between his good hand and the hand with the brace. That didn’t deter him, however, and he started to practically gulp the hot liquid like his life depended on it.

 

“Hey, don’t choke yourself,” Derek warned, keeping an eye on Spencer and getting ready to pull the cup away if he needed to. “That stuff won’t do you any good if you just puke it back up.”

 

Spencer pulled the cup away and nodded, but he still had a happy and satisfied smile on his face. He continued to sip the coffee until there was none left and Derek thought that he probably would have licked the cup clean if Garcia hadn’t snatched it away from him and thrown it in the trash can.

 

Hotch smirked and shook his head when Spencer crossed his arms and pouted at the fact that there was no more coffee. He then cleared his throat and addressed both Spencer and Derek. “I think it’s time we got out of here and let you both rest, but if I don’t see you before you get to head home… Morgan, I want you to take the rest of the week off starting tomorrow… and Reid, I want you to take a month of paid sick leave. This is not up for debate,” he said when Spencer opened his mouth to argue.

 

“Can I at least be on call if you need me? I mean, I don’t have to come into the office. Garcia could probably set up something so I can do conference calls or whatever,” Spencer practically begged. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do with a month of nothing to occupy his time.

 

Hotch sighed but then gave a small smile. “I’m sure we could make something work,” he finally conceded, to Spencer’s immense relief, but then turned stern again. “But I want you resting. You need time to recuperate and I want you to take the time to do that. Alright?”

 

Spencer nodded, relieved at just the possibility of being called to help during what he thought of as his month of punishment for getting in trouble yet again.


	9. Are You Serious?

Spencer was released from the hospital the next morning. The night before, Garcia had taken the large gift basket she had given them and gone to their house to set up a remote system for Spencer to help the team during his time off. Then, she drove Derek’s car to the hospital so that Spencer and Derek wouldn’t have to get a cab home, dropped off some clothes for Spencer so he wouldn’t have to go home in the hospital gown, and had Emily pick her up.

 

Spencer was grateful for all that Garcia had done as Derek helped him stand up from the bed on weak, wobbly legs and walk over to the wheelchair. He groaned as he sat down and rubbed his hand over his stomach, which had been flip-flopping all morning.

 

“You ok, baby boy?” Derek asked as he started to push the chair out of the room and toward the elevator.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Spencer answered, still massaging his stomach in small circles. “Just a little nauseous.”

 

“Ok well if you’re going to be sick and need to stop at any time, just let me know,” Derek said, slightly concerned over how miserable Spencer looked.

 

Spencer nodded his head but didn’t trust himself to speak. He was breathing deeply through his nose to fight the hot sickness radiating from his stomach. He really didn’t want to throw up while still at the hospital, for fear that they would change their minds about discharging him.

 

Derek and Spencer made their way to the hospital’s front desk, handed in Spencer’s discharge papers and, in turn, were handed information on physical therapists, and made it out and into the car without any problems.

 

Derek helped Spencer into the front passenger seat, shut the door, and then ran around to the driver’s side and got in. “Ready to get out of here?” he asked with a big smile on his face.

 

“You have no idea,” Spencer moaned out as he closed his eyes and laid his head back on the head rest.

 

Derek chuckled, started the car, and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

 

They made it about half-way home before Spencer started feeling really sick. He could feel the acid bubbling in his stomach and making its way up his esophagus. Spencer threw a hand over his mouth and started hitting Derek gently with his other hand, careful of the brace on it.

 

Derek looked over and saw that Spencer looked like he was going to throw up at any minute, so he quickly pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car.

 

Spencer struggled with the door but finally opened it and stepped out. He collapsed immediately on his weak legs, leaned forward, and vomited a mixture of hospital breakfast and stomach acid. He felt Derek kneel next to him and start to rub his back as he pulled his hair out of his face. When Spencer was done puking his guts up, he groaned miserably and slid sideways into Derek’s chest.

 

Derek continued to rub up and down Spencer’s back as he kissed the top of his head and softly asked, “Are you ok? Do we need to go back to the hospital?”

 

Spencer immediately shook his head and weakly said, “I’ll be ok. I just want to go home.”

 

Derek took a moment to think but then said, “Alright, well let’s get you home then.” He helped Spencer to his feet and got him back in the car before getting in himself. He started the car once more and pulled onto the road, heading home.

 

The rest of the ride went without incident and when Derek pulled into their driveway, Spencer expected Derek to come around and help him hobble into the house. What happened, however, was that Derek rummaged in the trunk for a moment, then opened Spencer’s door and put something in front of him that he definitely didn’t see coming.

 

“A walker?  Are you serious?!” Spencer asked incredulously, staring at the silver walking aid as if its very presence offended him.

 

“Yeah, babe, a walker, and yes, I _am_ serious,” Derek said patiently with a small smile. “The doctor gave it to me before he discharged you. It’s so you can walk around and build your legs back up when I’m not around to help you.”

 

“But you’re here now,” Spencer whined in confusion, staring up at Derek like he had lost his mind. “Why do I have to use this now?”

 

“Gotta start sometime,” Derek said, his smile growing. He knew that Spencer didn’t like help of any kind, but he was hoping that Spencer would have seen the walker as a step to regaining his independence instead of relying on Derek constantly through his recovery.

 

Spencer licked his lips and scrunched his eyebrows together. “What if someone sees?” he asked quietly, genuinely worried that someone would see him using the walker and immediately think he was an invalid.

 

Derek sighed and rubbed his hand down over his face. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed by any of this, baby,” he said firmly, leaning down so he was eye-level with Spencer. “None of this was your fault. In fact, you should be proud that you survived relatively unscathed… You know I’m going to help you through this as much as I can, but you also need to learn to do things on your own while I’m here so I know you’ll be ok by yourself when I go back to work. Ok?”

 

Spencer took a minute to think, but then nodded. “Ok,” he said softly and braced his hands on the walker to help lift himself up without putting too much pressure on his braced left hand. He finally got into a standing position and started to walk, finding the aid easier to use than he had thought. By the time he got to the front door, however, he was exhausted, having pushed his weak leg muscles to their breaking point.

 

Derek shut the car door behind Spencer and made sure that he got through the front door and to the couch in the living room before going back and locking the door. Clooney had immediately greeted his masters when they walked into the house, but Derek quickly took him to the back door and let him outside for a while. The last thing Spencer needed was a hyper dog trying to “help” him.

 

When Derek got back into the living room, he noticed that Spencer was panting and sweating, his muscles shaking from exertion. He immediately went over and helped Spencer lay down on the couch and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “It’s ok, baby,” he said soothingly as he rubbed a hand over Spencer’s chest, feeling his heart hammering through the skin. “I’m proud of you.”

 

“I’m so _weak_!” Spencer exclaimed and then let out a sob as he put his hands over his face.

 

“You are _not_ weak, Spencer,” Derek said in a firm voice to get his point across. “Your legs aren’t as strong as they were a week ago, but a week from now, they’ll probably be almost back to normal. You’ve been through so much and you always come out stronger in the end. I love you so much, baby boy.”

 

Spencer took a few deep breaths and put his hands down by his sides. He looked over at Derek with red, puffy eyes (a result from crying and just being generally exhausted), and smiled weakly. “I love you too,” he said softly, his eyes starting to slide shut as he lost his fight with the fatigue that was slipping over him. “Thank you.”

 

“Shhhh…. Just get some sleep,” Derek soothed, cupping Spencer’s face in his hand. “You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

 

Spencer nodded and let his eyes close, almost immediately falling into a deep, refreshing sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer woke up to the smell of food and suddenly found himself ravenously hungry. He sat up slowly and looked around, trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. ‘ _Probably the kitchen, stupid,’_ he thought to himself as he tried to stand up without any aid. He made it to his feet, but as soon as he tried to take a step, he found himself collapsing forward into an end table and knocking a lamp over onto the floor with a huge crash.

 

“Spencer?!” Derek shouted out of the kitchen and came running into the living room. He took a look at the smashed lamp and then saw Spencer laying on the floor. He jogged over to him and knelt down, turning Spencer over onto his back to check for injuries. “Are you ok? What happened?”

 

Spencer’s face was red with embarrassment and he was close to tears as he said, “Oh, I just tried to get up and fell over. I’m ok.”

 

Derek sighed in relief when he found no injuries from the fall. He stood up and helped Spencer to his feet. “Why did you get up? Where were you headed?”

 

Spencer’s stomach growled in answer to Derek’s question, which only caused Spencer to blush a deeper shade of crimson.

 

Derek chuckled and nodded his head. “I’ve got food in the kitchen,” he said as he helped Spencer hobble toward the kitchen and sit down at the small table they used for breakfast. “I didn’t know if you’d feel like getting up so I didn’t take anything into the dining room,” Derek explained as he went over to the stove and turned it off. He then got plates and started spooning spaghetti and meatballs on them. He walked over to the toaster oven and pulled out a tray of garlic toast, then put two pieces on each plate. He grabbed silverware and quickly set the table with them and the plates of food. “What do you want to drink?” he asked, heading for the refrigerator.

 

“Orange juice,” Spencer answered automatically, but then looked confused. ‘ _Where did that come from? Since when do I drink orange juice with spaghetti?!’_

 

Apparently Derek was thinking the same thing as Spencer because he turned around with an incredulous look on his face. “Orange juice… with spaghetti? And garlic toast?”

 

Spencer bit his lip nervously, but then nodded and quietly said, “I don’t know… I just want orange juice for some reason…”

 

Derek looked at him for a moment more but then shrugged and got the carton of orange juice out of the fridge along with a beer for himself. He poured the juice in a glass and then headed over to the table, setting the cup next to Spencer and then sitting at his own plate and opening his beer. “Whatever my baby wants, he shall receive,” Derek said with a smile as he reached over and took Spencer’s hand to kiss the back of it.

 

Spencer blushed again but smiled at Derek’s kindness. He was always so kind to him and Spencer loved every minute of it. Spencer’s stomach growled once more, effectively breaking the moment.

 

Derek chuckled and released Spencer’s hand. He started to eat his meal but when he looked over at Spencer, he froze mid-bite.

 

Spencer had grabbed his fork as soon as his hand was free and began just shoveling the food into his mouth, barely taking any time to breathe or chew. When he was about half-way through his plate, he put down his fork and picked up his cup of juice, bringing it to his face and gulping the liquid down until there was none left in the cup. He put his cup down and was about to pick his fork up once more when he saw Derek watching him. He blushed and looked down at his lap in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice, thinking he had done something wrong.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby,” Derek said adamantly, reaching out to take his hand again. “I’m just surprised to see you eating like that. I thought you might avoid eating like you did yesterday, that’s all.”

 

Spencer snuck a peak at Derek’s expression and found only amusement and a hint of worry. Spencer relaxed slightly and sat back against his chair. “I don’t know, I’m just so hungry!” he exclaimed and pulled his hand back away from Derek to wrap his arms around himself as his stomach gurgled and rolled.

 

“Spencer, I don’t want you to be ashamed of anything,” Derek said firmly, making sure he was looking Spencer right in the eyes. “If you want to eat, then you eat as much as you want. If you don’t want to eat, all I ask is that you don’t starve yourself. Anything more than that is up to you. I will love you no matter what happens, how you feel, or what you do. Do you understand?”

 

Spencer licked his lips but nodded his head. He opened his mouth to give Derek an answer but then felt his stomach lurch painfully. He clapped his hand over his mouth as his eyes went wide with panic. He certainly didn’t want to throw up in the kitchen of all places!

 

Derek recognized the signs that Spencer was going to be sick, so he immediately got up, lifted Spencer into his arms bridal-style, and ran with him to the bathroom. He plopped Spencer in front of the toilet where Spencer immediately vomited all the food he had just eaten. Derek just sighed heavily and pulled Spencer’s hair back while he rubbed his back soothingly.

 

When Spencer was finished, he brought his hand up to wipe his mouth, but then whimpered and rested his head against the toilet seat. He felt his stomach roll and gurgle as his muscles cramped painfully.

 

“Are you ok?” Derek asked gently as he flushed the toilet and picked Spencer back up into his arms.

 

Spencer nodded tiredly as he rubbed circles on his stomach. “I think I just ate too fast,” he whimpered softly, closing his eyes in exhaustion. “I’m still hungry though.”

 

“Ok, well I’m going to lay you down on the couch and get you a Gatorade,” Derek said as he walked into the living room. “If you can keep that down, then I’ll get you whatever you feel will do well on your stomach, alright?”

 

Spencer just nodded again and felt himself sinking into the couch cushions as Derek put him down. ‘ _Maybe I_ should _have stayed at the hospital,’_ he thought absently as he continued to massage his restless abdomen. He quickly dismissed that idea though. He hated hospitals with a vengeance and definitely didn’t want to stay in one any longer than necessary. ‘ _I just ate too fast,’_ he decided with a nod of his head. ‘ _I should have paced myself no matter how hungry I am… I’ve just never been this_ hungry _before!’_

 

His musings were interrupted by Derek coming back in with a bottle of blue Gatorade, as promised. “Ok baby, just drink this slowly so you don’t puke it too,” Derek said with a slight smile on his face. He was definitely worried about Spencer, but the doctor had told him before Spencer was discharged that Spencer may have trouble controlling his food intake for a while since he was denied food for so long and then practically force-fed.

 

Spencer sat up and scooted back on the couch so he was sitting at an angle and then took the bottle. He opened it and sipped the blue liquid, the coolness soothing his raw throat and stomach. He then grabbed the TV remote and switched it on, flipping through channels until it landed on a documentary of some sort.

 

Derek made sure that Spencer was settled before heading back out to the kitchen. He threw away the rest of Spencer’s food that he didn’t eat and then went to his own plate. He ate his food probably quicker than he should have, put his plate in the sink, and then grabbed his beer and went out into the living room to sit with Spencer.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer started awake a few hours later and looked around the darkening room. Derek was sitting on the end of the couch next to Spencer’s feet, thoroughly immersed in something playing on the TV. ‘ _I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep,’_ Spencer thought as he sat up straighter and stretched, a yawn widening his mouth into an ‘O’.

 

Derek looked over at Spencer when he felt him move and smiled. “Well good morning, sunshine,” he said good-naturedly. “You feeling any better?”

 

Spencer smiled at Derek and nodded his head. He reached for his Gatorade and took a few sips, then put it back down and cleared his throat. “Do we have any of those bottled smoothies left?” he asked quietly, thinking that maybe something soft like that would feel good on his stomach.

 

“We sure do,” Derek answered and got up off the couch to head into the kitchen. He walked back in the living room a few moments later, carrying a smoothie bottle. He sat back down and handed the bottle to Spencer. “Now don’t gulp that,” he warned sternly. “I don’t want you getting sick again.”

 

Spencer nodded and opened the bottle, taking long but slow sips of the sweet smoothie. As he thought, the soft coolness of it felt wonderful on his stomach and he didn’t feel sick at all.

 

The next few hours were passed in comfortable silence as both men just relaxed and enjoyed the other’s company. When Spencer started yawning, however, Derek switched off the TV and stood up from the couch. “Let’s go to bed,” he said with a smile, holding out his hands to help Spencer stand up. Derek supported him as he stumbled toward the bedroom on wobbly legs and then helped him change into plaid pajama pants and a large T-shirt.

 

Spencer laid down and covered himself up as Derek went to change his own clothes and use the bathroom, but he was asleep before Derek came back in the room.


	10. Positive...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter has been so long in coming, guys. Please forgive me; a ton of things came up that I couldn't push aside, unfortunately. I really hope that I haven't lost many of you because of the long wait time. Again, I always appreciate the comments and feedback you give me! I hope you all enjoy!

The rest of the week went much like their first day home after being held captive. Spencer spent a lot of time sleeping, eating, throwing up, and trying to walk without falling down while Derek attempted to take care of Spencer as best as he could. But when the time came for Derek to go back to work, he was definitely worried. Spencer’s legs were getting stronger, slowly but surely, but he was still vomiting regularly and it didn’t seem to be getting any better.

 

As Derek got dressed on Monday morning, he kept looking over at Spencer who was laying on the bed watching Derek getting ready. “Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” Derek asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

 

“I’ll be fine,” Spencer said with a smile and a little chuckle. “You worry too much.”

 

Derek gave him a sad smile as he finished getting dressed, then walked over to the bed, leaned down, and gave Spencer a kiss. “Alright, baby boy,” he said as he pulled away and reached a hand up to cup Spencer’s face. “But if you need me, for anything at all, I want you to call me, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded and then reached up to pull Derek back down for another kiss. When they pulled away from each other, Spencer said, “I promise to call if I need you.”

 

Derek chuckled and shook his head at Spencer’s antics. “Alright, then I’ll see you tonight unless we have a case,” he said as he walked toward the bedroom door, grabbing his go-bag on the way. “Don’t break any more lamps!” he called over his shoulder.

 

Spencer threw a pillow from the bed at him and Derek laughed out loud. Spencer just shook his head and smiled, glad that everything was regaining a semblance of normalcy.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer got a call a few hours later while he was doing some exercises for his legs. “Hey, Derek, what’s up?” he answered, having a feeling about what he was going to say.

 

“Hey baby, are you still feeling ok?” Derek replied and Spencer could hear something rustling around in the background like he was sorting and gathering papers together.

 

“Yeah, I’m ok,” Spencer answered, not mentioning that he had thrown up twice already since Derek left that morning.

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Derek said in a slightly relieved voice. “Well, as luck would have it, we have a case and it looks to be a long one. We’re going to be heading to Portland, Oregon in 30 minutes so I don’t even have time to come home to tell you bye. Garcia is coming with us but promises to still set up video conference calls if we need your help.”

 

“Oh, ok, well just be careful, you know,” Spencer answered sadly, disappointed that they were going so far away so soon.

 

“I’ll be fine, Spencer,” Derek said firmly. “I’m just worried about _you_. Since Garcia is coming, you’ll have no one to help you if something happens…”

 

“Don’t worry about me,” Spencer said quickly. “If you worry about me, you won’t concentrate on the case and you can’t do that. I’ll be ok. I’ve been all alone without anyone to call before and I was alright. And if something really bad happens, I’ll call the police or go to the hospital or whatever the situation demands! Please, don’t worry. Just concentrate on the case so you can come home to me quicker.”

 

“Alright baby boy,” Derek said gently, knowing that Spencer was right. “I’ll call you tonight from the hotel. I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Spencer said and then hung up the phone. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that it was a possibility that the team would be called away on a case, but he had hoped that it wouldn’t happen so soon.

 

To take his mind off of the depressing situation, Spencer reached over to the coffee table where the large gift basket from Garcia still lay and grabbed a bag of peanut butter M&Ms out of it. He opened the bag and began to eat the candy when he saw a small stuffed rabbit also occupying the basket. After a moment’s hesitation, Spencer reached over and grabbed the rabbit, bringing it up to clutch tightly to his chest as a few tears escaped from his eyes and ran down his face.

 

* * *

 

 

The team ended up spending almost three weeks in Portland tracking down their unsub, and during that time, Spencer had become _very_ worried. His legs had almost regained all the strength he had lost from the spinal blocks and extended immobility and, even though he sometimes still got overbalanced and felt weak in the knees, he was now walking around unassisted. Despite this, the feelings of nausea, which Spencer had assumed had come from the malnutrition mixed with the stress of the situation, not to mention the tons of hormones and drugs he had been pumped with, never left. If anything, it had only gotten worse. Certain foods that he used to love he could no longer stomach and certain smells that never bothered him before now sent him running to the bathroom.

 

His appetite had also increased even though he couldn’t seem to hold much down. He hadn’t thought much about the mindless snacking that he’d gotten in the habit of doing to quench his hunger in between meals, because he seemed to just throw everything back up. That is, he didn’t start to think about it until he decided to go to the store one day about a week and a half after Derek and the team had left.

 

Spencer had been wearing just sweat pants and T-shirts around the house because the clothes were comfortable and he really didn’t plan on going anywhere. Derek was usually the one to go grocery shopping because he did most of the cooking when they were home. When Derek and the team still hadn’t come home after almost two weeks, though, Spencer found himself quickly running out of food in the house.

 

Spencer knew he needed to go shopping, no matter how much he really hated going shopping, so he prepared himself to dress in clothes he deemed suitable for public. He picked out a pair of slacks and a button-up shirt, clothes similar to what he would wear to work, and started to get dressed. He pulled up the pants and brought the sides around to button them, but found that they came up short by about two inches. Confused, Spencer took the pants off and picked out another pair, thinking maybe they had shrunk in the dryer, even though nothing of his had ever done that before. He pulled the new pair up, but again couldn’t button them.

 

He licked his lips and walked over to the full-length mirror in the corner of the bedroom, turning sideways to look at himself in profile. That was the first time he noticed that his abdomen was no longer its usual concave shape. Instead, his belly stuck out about an inch and half further than it normally did, adding about three inches to his waistline. He bit his bottom lip in concern and reached his hand down to touch the protrusion, which looked very big sticking out of his unbuttoned pants like it was. He slowly rubbed over his abdomen and pressed in on it, finding it oddly round and hard.

 

He whimpered softly, slightly panicking as he continued to look at himself and rub his little swollen belly. ‘ _Am I pregnant?’_ he thought to himself. He knew that there was a distinct possibility that he _was_ pregnant, but he couldn’t believe it at the moment and irrationally thought, ‘ _No! I_ can’t _be pregnant! Derek and I haven’t had a chance to talk about the possibility of having a family yet. I can’t be pregnant until we talk about it!’_

 

‘ _Then call him!’_ the more rational side of Spencer yelled, effectively starting an argument with himself.

 

Spencer just shook his head and started to pull the pants off. _‘No… no I’m just overreacting. I’ve been snacking a lot and I’ve just gained weight. I can’t confirm a pregnancy without a pregnancy test and I can’t get a pregnancy test because I don’t have any decent clothes that will fit me so I can go to the store.’_

 

Spencer redressed in his comfort clothes and walked into Spencer and Derek’s home office. Spencer turned on his laptop, a device he hardly ever used even though he was completely proficient in using it (a fact that most of the team didn’t believe), and brought up the website to a local grocery store. Since he couldn’t leave the house, he decided to just have groceries ordered in. He picked out what he knew they needed and a couple things that he had just been craving lately, along with a few different brands of EPTs just for good measure, and placed his order. ‘ _But I’m not pregnant,’_ he thought as he shook his head at the screen in front of him. ‘ _They’re just for later… plus no one starts to show in their first month, right? It’s just weight gain.’_

 

* * *

 

 

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, Spencer couldn’t help but snack on the food that he had had delivered to the house. It just seemed like he was always hungry, but always nauseous at the same time. Frankly, he was getting tired of the routine he had fallen into of eating and throwing up. Added to that was the crappy daytime TV he watched (which always made him cry for some reason, which in and of itself was odd) because there was really nothing else for him to do.

 

Garcia and the team had video-called him a few times for consultations on their case, but that seemed to stop after they had caught him snacking on camera two days ago.

 

“Babe, what _are_ those?” Derek had asked after Spencer had answered the questions they had asked him.

 

Spencer finished chewing what was in his mouth and then answered, “Pork rinds.”

 

“You hate pork rinds, Spencer,” Derek said, slightly confused at Spencer’s snack choice.

 

Spencer shrugged. “Well, now I don’t,” he said as he stuck another one in his mouth.

 

“Better watch out, Reid,” Emily said with a smile on her face. “Those things will ruin your figure.”

 

That made Spencer look down at himself, his bloated abdomen coming directly into view through his shirt. He hadn’t yet told Derek or anyone about his weight gain and he hadn’t let them see anything on camera other than his head and shoulders because, by this time, at least another inch had been added on to his waistline since the day he’d looked at himself in the mirror so they would definitely notice if they saw him in profile. His lower lip started to quiver as he looked back up at the camera. “Why do you always have to be like that?” he practically whispered, but before anyone could answer, he’d closed the laptop screen and ended the conversation.

 

Tears ran down his face as he stood up and walked out to the living room, taking the bag of pork rinds with him. He sat down on the couch as his cell phone started ringing, but he didn’t feel like getting back up to answer it so he let it go. Moments after his cell stopped ringing, the house phone took it’s turn and, since he didn’t have the excuse of not wanting to get up because a phone was on the end table next to the couch, he answered it with a short, “What?’

 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Derek asked over the line, sounding concerned and worried.

 

Spencer sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said sadly. He sniffed loudly and looked around for a tissue but couldn’t find any. That, for some reason, made him sob and cry out, “We have no tissues!”

 

“It’s ok, baby boy, it’s ok,” Derek tried to soothe even though he was extremely confused by Spencer’s outburst. “Have you checked the bathroom closet? There might be some in there.”

 

Spencer took a few deep breaths and sniffed loudly again before answering in a small voice, “No… I’ll check… thanks.”

 

Derek sighed and gently said, “Come on, that can’t be what’s bothering you. At least, that can’t be all of it.”

 

“Why can’t it be?!” Spencer snapped, suddenly angry at Derek’s pushing. “What, I can’t be upset that we don’t have tissues?”

 

“Babe, calm down,” Derek said patiently, knowing by now that something was definitely wrong. “Of course you can be upset about tissues. You can be upset about anything you want to be. My point is that you usually _don’t_ get upset over tissues. I’m just worried about you, baby boy. I just want to know what’s wrong.”

 

Spencer sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing the side of his head with his free hand as he felt a headache coming on. “I’m sorry,” he said sadly, all anger draining out of him. “I honestly don’t know what’s wrong. I just feel weird.”

 

“Have you gone to the doctor yet?” Derek asked, knowing that Spencer had been putting it off because of how much he just hated visiting the doctors.

 

“No, I can’t leave the house,” Spencer answered before he thought about what he was saying.

 

“Wait, what do you mean you can’t leave the house,” Derek said, his level of worry and concern instantly jumping up a notch.

 

“I… I-I just can’t leave the house, Derek,” Spencer stuttered out, growing embarrassed and just wanting to end the conversation. ‘ _Now would be a perfect time to tell him what’s really wrong,’_ he thought to himself, but immediately scrapped that idea. ‘ _I can’t tell Derek I won’t leave the house because I’ve gained weight! He’ll think I’m silly! Plus, he’ll probably think I’m disgusting for snacking all the time and putting on weight!’_

 

“Spencer, did something happen?” Derek asked seriously, starting to grow angry at Spencer’s hesitation to explain himself. “Did someone threaten you or something?”

 

“No! Nothing like that!” Spencer answered quickly. The last thing he wanted was for Derek to be worried about him and not concentrate on the case. “I just… I just don’t want to leave the house… Can we leave it at that?”

 

Derek sighed and Spencer thought he was going to argue, but instead just said, “Alright, but we’re talking about this when I get home, ok?”

 

Spencer smiled a little and said, “Ok. I love you. Please tell Emily I’m sorry.”

 

“I love you too, baby boy,” Derek answered warmly but Spencer could still hear a hint of concern lacing his voice. “And Emily isn’t mad. She’s just worried. We all are.”

 

“I gotta go,” Spencer said thickly as he felt tears burning the backs of his eyes once more. “I’ll call you later.” He hung the phone up without letting Derek answer and just fell over onto his side, snuggling into the couch pillows and massaging his temples, wishing that he didn’t feel so miserable.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek called Spencer two days before Spencer was scheduled to go back to work to tell him that they had caught the unsub and were on the jet heading home.

 

“That’s great!” Spencer said enthusiastically, genuinely excited to see Derek after being apart from him for so long. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“I’ve missed you too, baby,” Derek said warmly and then chuckled. “I bet you’ve been bored out of your mind. Are you excited to go back to work?”

 

Spencer felt the breath go out of him. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to go back to work soon! “I uh…” Spencer said in a quavering voice, starting to panic. “No. I’m not ready. I need more time.”

 

“What?” Derek asked, confused. He had never known Spencer to not want to go to work. In fact, the team usually had to threaten him to take any time off at all! “Spencer, what is wrong with you?”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Spencer practically yelled, sick of arguing. “I just can’t leave the house. I told you this already! I cannot leave the house! Now, just drop it! I’ll see you when you get home.” Spencer hung up the phone and refused to answer both his cell and the house phone when Derek tried to call him back.

 

He sighed and sat back into the couch, rubbing his temples as another headache threatened to overwhelm him. ‘ _What should I do?’_ he asked himself hopelessly. He couldn’t hide forever, especially since Derek would be home later that night and would be expecting answers as to why he’d been acting strange.

 

Spencer finally decided that he needed to take the pregnancy tests that he had been putting off. At least then could tell Derek that being pregnant definitely was _not_ the problem. He sighed and stood up, walking toward the bathroom where he had stored the tests he had ordered.

 

Five different brands of plastic sticks sat on the counter, just waiting to be peed on, but Spencer just stared at them, feeling slightly intimidated by their presence. ‘ _Just do it, you baby!’_ he internally yelled at himself, but he knew that that voice was right. When did he become such a coward? He really didn’t have anything to worry about since he absolutely could _not_ be pregnant!

 

He sighed and reached out to open the tests and gather them all into his uninjured hand. Then he turned toward the toilet, clumsily pulled down his sweat pants, and unceremoniously urinated on each of the tests. When he was done, he laid the tests down on the counter next to the sink, pulled up his pants, and set the little egg-timer that they kept in the medicine cabinet.

 

While he was waiting for the tests to give him results, he decided to weigh himself. ‘ _I can’t have gained_ that _much weight,’_ he thought as he pulled out the scales from the bathroom closet. ‘ _I’m just curious… maybe a pound or two, but not_ too _much.’_

 

Spencer stepped on the scales and waited for it to register his weight, subconsciously placing his right palm over his slight protrusion. The scales beeped and Spencer looked down. He froze, his eyes going wide and his mouth going dry. “Ten pounds,” he whispered to himself as he continued to stare down. “I’ve gained ten pounds…”

 

He was still in shock when the egg-timer buzzed from the counter. Spencer looked over at the tests with a new fear in his heart, not sure if he really _wanted_ to know the answer anymore. He gulped loudly and slowly stepped off the scales to walk over and look at the results, reading them out loud in a soft voice laced with horror. “Positive… positive… positive… positive… positive…”


	11. With Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update! Woot! Anyway, I know that some of you will be frustrated about how I ended this chapter, but this is going to be a long fic so believe me, there will be plenty of time to explore that particular topic more in depth :P

When Derek got home, Spencer was sitting in the single chair in the living room holding a pillow tightly to his abdomen and his legs tucked under him, knees sticking up slightly so his body was in a rough ball. Derek rushed over and knelt down in front of the chair, putting his hands on Spencer’s knees.

 

“Are you ok, baby?” he asked with great concern, his face a mask of fear and confusion. “Why didn’t you answer my phone calls?”

 

Spencer just stared straight ahead and didn’t answer, still in shock from his earlier discovery.

 

Derek moved his hands up to Spencer’s cheeks, trying to get him to look at him. “Spencer, talk to me,” Derek pushed, hoping for a response but getting none. He sighed and looked over to the front door where Hotch and JJ were standing. “Come on in, maybe you can get him to respond,” he said sadly, not knowing quite what to do.

 

When Derek had told the team that Spencer wasn’t answering his cell or the house phone, Hotch and JJ had insisted on coming with him to check on Spencer. They both now walked into the living room and sat on the couch, which was at a right angle to the chair Spencer was sitting in.

 

“Reid,” Hotch started, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he looked over at Spencer. “Whatever is bothering you, it’s going to be ok. We’re all here to help you. Just talk to us.”

 

Spencer swallowed loudly and glanced over at Hotch and JJ for a moment but then looked down at Derek, who had moved his hands back to Spencer’s knees and was looking up at Spencer with a pleading look on his face. “Why did you bring them with you?” he asked in a whisper, not wanting to make his revelation with an audience.

 

“Why don’t you tell me why you can’t leave the house,” Derek countered gently, glad that Spencer was responding, but still _beyond_ worried.

 

Spencer closed his eyes and a few tears ran down his face as his lower lip started to quiver. “Because none of my normal clothes fit anymore,” he answered softly, opening his eyes but not looking at anyone or anything in particular.

 

JJ’s eyes went wide as she glanced between Spencer’s face and the pillow he held tightly to himself. “Why are you hiding your stomach, Spence?” she asked, already suspecting the answer.

 

Spencer just shook his head slowly and then put his head down, his chin touching his chest.

 

“Baby, come on,” Derek soothed as he reached up and brushed Spencer’s hair out of his face. “Don’t be afraid. Why are you hiding?”

 

Spencer sighed and reached beside him, pulling out the pregnancy tests he had taken earlier, having hid them between the cushion and the arm of the chair. He handed them to Derek without a word.

 

Derek took the tests and looked at them, his eyes growing wider with every positive that he read. “You’re pregnant?” he asked in a slightly hoarse voice.

 

Spencer nodded but didn’t speak, more tears leaking from his eyes.

 

“But you can’t be showing,” Derek said in disbelief, still staring at the tests in his hand. “It hasn’t been long enough…”

 

Spencer closed his eyes and slowly unfolded his arms from around the pillow.

 

Derek took the hint and, after laying the tests on the coffee table behind him, reached up to remove the pillow. He then slowly lifted Spencer’s baggy T-shirt up to reveal his stomach and, sure enough, it was round and swollen, sticking out about three inches from where it had been only a month before.

 

He gasped in surprise and tentatively reached a hand down to rub over the protrusion, finding it warm and hard. Something deep inside him stirred and he was reminded of his earlier excitement at the possibility of Spencer being pregnant. He lowered Spencer’s shirt and cupped his hand on Spencer’s cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. “Hey,” he said gently, trying to get Spencer to open his eyes and look at him. “It’s going to be ok… Alright, baby? Everything is going to be ok…”

 

Spencer took a shuttering breath and opened his eyes, a look of fear and helplessness on his face. “I’m afraid,” he sobbed out, completely breaking down and falling forward into Derek’s arms.

 

Derek caught him with ease and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing one of his hands up and down Spencer’s spine. “I know, hunny,” he said soothingly, “but it’ll be ok… I _promise_ … it’s all going to be ok.”

 

“He put ten in me, Derek!” Spencer wailed as he sobbed uncontrollably, his breath hitching in and out. “If I’m already showing, who knows how many implanted?! I’ve already gained ten pounds and four inches! How can this be ok?!”

 

Derek just continued to soothe him with his hands and gentle words. “I swear to you it’s all going to be ok, hunny. We’ll get you to a doctor and we’ll figure this out. You’re not alone. You have not only me, but the whole team! We were all so worried about you…”

 

“It’s true, Spence,” JJ said, trying hard not to smile. She knew that Spencer was freaked out at the moment, but she also knew the joys that parenthood could bring and so was very happy for her best friend. “They’ll be thrilled to hear about this and we’re all more than willing to help with whatever you may need.”

 

Spencer’s head shot up at JJ’s words and his eyes grew impossibly wider. “They can’t know,” he said fearfully as Derek released him from the embrace. “No one can know! This _cannot_ be known!”

 

“Baby,” Derek said patiently as he rubbed his hand up and down Spencer’s thigh. “If you’re already starting to show, they’re going to know soon enough.”

 

“I’m actually surprised they haven’t figured it out already,” Hotch added in, a slight smile on his face. “I had a feeling about what was wrong when you cried at Emily’s comment.”

 

JJ nodded, also smiling at him. “I recognized the signs of pregnancy hormones almost right away.”

 

Derek sighed and shook his head. “I guess I just didn’t want to accept the evidence presented to me,” he said with a small smirk.

 

Spencer looked down at Derek and his face fell visibly, intense sadness replacing the fear. “You don’t want this?” he asked in a small voice and Derek’s eyes grew wide.

 

“No, that’s not what I meant, Spencer,” he said quickly, running his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “I meant that… I guess I just didn’t want to get my hopes up, that’s all.”

 

“You were hoping that I would be pregnant?” he asked softly, not really sure what to feel at the moment.

 

Derek sighed and licked his lips. “We never talked about this like we should have,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “We went through something horrible, you more so than me, so I can understand if you’re not excited about this… but while we were at the hospital, I decided that no matter what happened, I would be behind you all the way. I’ve always wanted children, but if you’re not ready, then I want you to do what makes you comfortable. I don’t want you to do this because _I_ want it… I want _you_ to want it too, but if you don’t, I won’t be angry or disappointed with you. Ok?”

 

“So it’s all my decision?” Spencer asked, slightly panicky. He appreciated that Derek was giving him the power over this, but he wasn’t sure if he could make the decision on his own.

 

Derek nodded but didn’t say anything more, not wanting to sway Spencer’s decision one way or the other.

 

Spencer licked his lips and stayed silent for a moment, trying to come to terms with what was going on. “I think… I-I think that I… that I want this… but I’m just so afraid,” he finally answered, his lower lip quivering as another round of tears threatened to fall.

 

“Shhh…” Derek soothed as he continued to run his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “I am too… but I’m also excited.” Derek smiled wide and leaned up to kiss Spencer on the lips.

 

Spencer immediately pushed Derek away, got up off the chair, and raced to the bathroom where he threw up the pork rinds he had been snacking on earlier.

 

The three gathered in the living could hear the commotion from the bathroom and all collectively winced. Derek, however, almost immediately smirked and called out, “I didn’t think my kisses were _that_ bad!”

 

Hotch and JJ chuckled as Spencer emerged from the bathroom, wiping his hand across his mouth. “Ha, Ha,” he mocked laughed and added sarcastically, “you’re very funny.” He started to walk back to the chair when his stomach growled loudly, audible to everyone. Spencer blushed and rubbed his hand in circles over his little swell.

 

“What’s the matter, hunny?” Derek asked, thinking that Spencer might be feeling nauseous again.

 

Spencer bit his lower lip and blushed an even deeper shade of crimson. “I’m just really hungry,” he softly said as his stomach growled noisily once more.

 

Derek smiled and chuckled as he rose to his feet. “Sit down and I’ll get you something. What do you want?”

 

Instead of being grateful of Derek’s offer, he only seemed to grow more embarrassed. He wrapped his arms around his middle and looked off to the side, not answering.

 

“Don’t be embarrassed if you want something that seems a little odd, Spence,” JJ said warmly with a gentle smile on her face. “It’s just one of the joys of being pregnant.”

 

Spencer licked his lips and nodded. “Could I have peanut butter and pickle spears?” he practically whispered to no one in particular.

 

“What?” Derek asked, confused and slightly disgusted at Spencer’s request.

 

“Don’t argue with him!” JJ reprimanded, glaring at Derek. “Just go get him what he wants!”

 

Derek put his hands up in surrender and retreated to the kitchen to grab Spencer’s snack.

 

“Sit down, Reid, you look exhausted,” Hotch said gently when Spencer just stood there.

 

Spencer jumped and looked around quickly as if he had forgotten that there was anyone else in the room with him. He then gave a tentative smile and nodded his head, walking back to the single chair and sitting down. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, bringing his hands up to rub his temples. “I am exhausted,” he said quietly, a slight whine to his tone. “And my head hurts. And my throat and stomach muscles are sore from throwing up. And I’m incredibly hungry even though I’ll most likely puke back up everything I eat. And I’ve cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. And my legs, feet, and back hurt from gaining weight. And the skin on my abdomen is itchy and sore, also from gaining weight. And I’m sad, angry and embarrassed over gaining weight. You know, the normal stuff.”

 

JJ chuckled warmly and shook her head. “The joys of being pregnant… believe me when I say that it’s all worth it in the end though.”

 

“I hope you’re right,” Spencer mumbled almost to himself as Derek walked back into the room with two jars in his hands, one with peanut butter and the other with pickle spears.

 

“If you haven’t left the house since I’ve been gone, how in the world is the kitchen full of pickles, cottage cheese, peanut butter, crackers, pork rinds, cranberry juice, and chocolate sauce?” Derek asked as he put the jars on the end table next to Spencer’s chair.

 

Spencer blushed but reached greedily for the jars, opening both and plucking a pickle out. “I ordered groceries online and I guess I was hungry when I was picking things out,” he shyly said as he dipped the pickle in the peanut butter and then put it in his mouth, chewing happily.

 

They all chuckled once more before Hotch said, “Well I think it’s time for us to get out of here. Reid, I want you take another two weeks off so that you can have time to see a doctor and get better used to everything. Morgan, I want you to take a week off but you’ll be subject to recall if we get a case. Make sure that he sees a doctor!” Hotch and JJ then stood up off the couch and JJ practically ran over to give Spencer a hug.

 

“Congratulations, Spence,” she said sincerely. “I know it’s scary right now, but believe me when I say that you won’t regret it.”

 

“Thanks, JJ,” Spencer said thickly as emotion clogged his voice.

 

Hotch then came over to Spencer, as JJ gave Derek a big hug, and clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re going to be ok, but if you ever need anything, I’m always willing to talk or help in any way I can. Congratulations, Spencer. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

 

Spencer lost it at those words and started sobbing, the tears running freely down his face. He was embarrassed, but he just couldn’t help it.

 

Derek heard Spencer start to cry and rushed over to him, pulling him into his chest. Spencer buried his face into Derek’s shoulder and let himself cry as Derek gently said, “Shhh… you’re alright… It’s all going to be ok… I love you so much.”

 

Hotch touched Derek’s shoulder and said, “We’ll let ourselves out and I’ll see you both soon. Call if you need anything.” Then he and JJ left, leaving Derek and Spencer alone.

 

Derek rubbed Spencer’s back a couple times until he felt him calm down a little. He let him go and gave him a happy smile before brushing his hair out of his eyes and standing up straight. “Finish your snack and then we’ll go to bed, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded and plucked out another pickle, dipping it in peanut butter before popping it into his mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer laid on the bed and watched as Derek stripped down to his boxers, getting ready for bed. He took in his well-defined muscles and his luscious, round backside, imagining himself ripping Derek’s boxers off and kneeling in front of him, squeezing that delectable butt as he took Derek’s length into his mouth.

 

Spencer moaned softly as he suddenly found himself very hard. He reached down around his swollen middle and tucked his hand beneath the waistband of his pants, cupping himself and rubbing firmly.

 

Derek turned when he heard Spencer loudly moan and start to pant. He smiled seductively and got a hungry look in his eyes at what he saw. “Here, let me help you with that,” he said in a gravelly voice full of lust.

 

He sauntered over to the bed and deftly straddled Spencer’s legs, reaching his hands up to lift Spencer’s shirt. Derek found himself incredibly turned on as Spencer’s little round belly was revealed. He rubbed both of his hands over the sensitive skin, taking in the new contours and bending down to stick his tongue in Spencer’s belly button.

 

Spencer gasped and moaned, his hand convulsively grabbing himself, causing him to groan loudly with pleasure. “Oh god, Derek,” he said in a shaky voice, “I missed you so much.”

 

“I could tell,” Derek said with a smirk as he moved his hands to pull Spencer’s pants down around his knees. He then moved Spencer’s hand out of the way and curled his own hand around the base of Spencer’s shaft, using his other hand to cup and massage his sac. Spencer involuntarily bucked his hips up into Derek’s hands, causing Derek to smile as he slid his lips over the tip and down until they were touching his hand.

 

Spencer cried out at the sensation and he put his right hand on the back of Derek’s head, keeping his injured hand above his head and out of the way so he wouldn’t hurt it more. “Oh, god, please!” he begged, screwing his eyes shut and pressing his head back into the pillows. “More! Please, I want… please… god…more!”

 

Derek chuckled around Spencer’s shaft, causing Spencer to make a sound between a cry and a moan, and then brought his head up, releasing him with a loud pop of his lips. “With pleasure, baby boy,” he said gruffly, the heat in his eyes clearly visible. “With pleasure…”


	12. I Want to Feel Pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's another chapter! Yay! It didn't go quite the way I'd planned, but I think even with all the plot bunnies hopping around in my head, it turned out pretty well :) Let me know what you think!
> 
> P.S.: I've been told a couple times that certain things in my stories (not just this one) are slightly unrealistic. I'm sorry if you feel that way; I do attempt to keep my stories as realistic as possible given the "science" or explanations that I provide within the stories (ex. mpreg doesn't just spontaneously happen; I provide a reason for it), but I also see Spencer Reid as a person who usually gets the shaft. If something bad or unusual can possibly happen (ex. getting pregnant with multiples because of a back-room IVF procedure), then it would happen to Spencer. Honestly, with all the BS that's happened to him in the show, I don't feel like any of my situations are that far fetched within the stories. Sorry if I offend anyone; that's certainly not my intention! I just want to make my position known :)
> 
> Please, I still love comments, opinions, constructive criticism, demands, etc. lol. You readers make my life a little brighter so the least I can do is try to write things that you'll enjoy and let you know where I stand on certain things :) Thanks to all of you!

“Derek, how am I supposed to go to the doctor?” Spencer asked clearly distressed. His appointment was for the next morning and he was panicking. “I can’t go shopping for new clothes because nothing that fits is decent to wear in public!”

 

“You look just fine in a T-shirt and sweats, baby boy,” Derek said, bringing him into a gentle embrace and rubbing his hand up and down Spencer’s spine.

 

“I just… no, I need _real_ clothes,” Spencer said softly but adamantly, not willing to sway on the subject.

 

Derek sighed but nodded his head. “Alright, well how about I go out and get you some things… Does that sound good?”

 

Spencer nodded his head frantically, relieved that Derek was willing to do this for him. Otherwise, he was bound and determined to _not_ leave the house.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer and Derek were waiting in a patient room at Spencer’s regular OB/GYN’s office. She had taken some blood and gone through with a regular physical examination so now they were just waiting for her to come back with the results.

 

Spencer was sitting on the examination table after having redressed in his new clothes: brown slacks with a stretchy pregnancy panel in the front to accommodate his growing waistline, and an off-white cotton shirt that cinched together right above where his belly had started to protrude, the shirt getting bigger and more elastic under the cinch. Even though the clothes had been made for pregnant intersexed males like him, they looked slightly feminine. Spencer didn’t mind, though. He didn’t often care how he dressed. Besides, in Spencer’s opinion, _anything_ was better for public than sweats and a T-shirt.

 

Ten minutes passed in the silent examination room and Spencer was left wringing his hands together nervously and biting his lower lip.

 

“Calm down, pretty boy,” Derek finally said from one of the uncomfortable chairs beside the table. “You’re already almost positive that you’re pregnant, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

 

“The tests could have been wrong,” Spencer said softly, but as he looked down at his swollen belly, he knew that they weren’t. “I guess I’m more worried about the ultrasound and finding out how _many_ are in there.” He whimpered slightly at the thought of carrying multiples and put his right hand over his protrusion, fingers splayed outward.

 

“We can handle this, Spencer… no matter how many there are,” Derek encouraged and flashed a cocky half-smile over at him. “Besides, I’ve always wanted a big family!”

 

Derek was also worried about the number of embryos that had implanted in Spencer, but he was trying to ease some of the tension and lower Spencer’s stress levels. It seemed to work momentarily because Spencer huffed and leaned over to smack Derek’s arm playfully. Only seconds later, though, the stress was back.

 

“What if all ten were successful?!” Spencer asked fearfully, his eyes growing wide at the possibility. “And then he injected excess sperm so any number of eggs left in me could have also been fertilized. Take into account the probability of an egg splitting into two or three identical fetuses during development along with the amount of weight I’ve gained in such a short period of time and I’m almost certain to be pregnant with more than one!”

 

“Spencer, it’s going to be ok,” Derek insisted, getting up from his chair to bring Spencer into a sideways hug, Spencer’s right shoulder leaning into Derek’s chest instead of both their chests being flush together. “Whether you’re pregnant with one or twelve, we’re going to get through this together and hopefully be very happy.”

 

“You’re one to talk,” Spencer said with a slight smirk, relaxing into Derek’s arms. “You’re not the one that’s going to swell up to the size of a blimp.”

 

Derek laughed and kissed Spencer’s cheek. “I’ll still think you’re pretty, no matter how big or small you are.”

 

“You would,” Spencer replied but smiled warmly anyway, closing his eyes and resting his head under Derek’s chin.

 

Their intimate moment was interrupted, however, by the door to the room opening and the doctor walking in, a smile on her face. “Well, Dr. Reid,” she said happily, walking over to the couple. “It looks like you are indeed pregnant and about five weeks along. Does that sound about right?”

 

Spencer nodded his head and Derek kissed his cheek once more before releasing him from his embrace. Spencer cleared his throat and softly asked, “Can I get an ultrasound done, Dr. Katz?”

 

Dr. Katz nodded her head and said, “Sure thing! Why don’t you go ahead and lay back and expose your abdomen.” She then moved over to the side of the bed where the ultrasound machine was located and flipped it on.

 

The machine hummed to life as Spencer laid back on the table, lifted his shirt and rolled down his pants, baring his little mound of belly. Spencer blushed, still trying to get used to the fact that his abdomen wasn’t concave anymore.

 

Derek smiled warmly at how shy Spencer was, then grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it, giving him silent support.

 

Spencer gave a weak smile back but still bit his bottom lip nervously as Dr. Katz squeezed the clear gel onto his lower abdomen and used the ultrasound wand to spread it around.

 

“Alright,” she said slowly, staring at the screen on the machine. “Let’s see if we can find that baby!” Dr. Katz concentrated on the screen as she moved the wand around in little circles, searching his abdomen for the best angle. Spencer had told her about _how_ he had gotten pregnant, but she didn’t want to say ‘babies’ in case only one _had_ implanted. After all, the procedure wasn’t exactly clinically or medically sound. Soon enough, though, her eyes widened as a familiar image popped up on the screen. “Ok, here we are… and it looks as if… oh!” she exclaimed in a surprised voice.

 

“What?! What is it?!” Spencer asked, suddenly terrified as he tried to twist around to also see the screen.

 

“Well, I can make out four of them,” she answered slowly, still staring at the screen while she moved the probe a little more. “But there’s also the possibility that, given the number of embryos you were injected with, there could be more hiding behind the others. It might be easier to tell in a few months.”

 

Spencer’s eyes went wide and his mouth went dry as Dr. Katz turned the screen for Derek and him to see.

 

“Four?” Derek said hoarsely as he gripped Spencer’s hand just a little tighter, staring at what looked like little blobs on the screen.

 

“Or more…” Spencer added softly, transfixed on the screen with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

Dr. Katz printed off a few sonogram pictures and handed them to Derek, then handed a tissue to Spencer so he could clean the gel off his stomach.

 

When Spencer didn’t reach for the tissue, Derek took it wiped Spencer’s belly clean. Then, when Spencer remained unresponsive, Derek rolled his pants back up and pulled his shirt down for him.

 

“I’ll leave and give you two some privacy,” Dr. Katz said gently, addressing Derek since Spencer seemed to be lost in his own little world. “When you’re ready, just go to the front desk. They’ll check Dr. Reid out and schedule him another appointment. After that, you’re free to go.”

 

“Thanks, doctor,” Derek said softly and gave her a small smile.

 

She smiled back and walked toward the door, shutting it quietly behind her.

 

Derek sighed and looked down at Spencer, who was still staring at the screen even though it had gone black with the lack of input. “Spencer?” he gently called and ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “You ok, baby boy?”

 

Slowly, Spencer turned his head to look at Derek, utter shock on his face. “I don’t know how I feel about this…” he said in a slightly distant voice, as if he couldn’t comprehend exactly what was happening.

 

“What do you mean, hunny,” Derek pushed, trying to get Spencer to talk. That was the only way he knew to break Spencer out of these spells when he was feeling completely overwhelmed. “Talk to me.”

 

Spencer licked his lips and blinked his eyes a few times, trying to focus more. “I mean… I’m completely and utterly terrified of the thought of having four or more fetuses inside of me…” He took a deep breath and blew it out, but then a small smile graced his lips. “But at the same time… I feel… I feel excited and just… really _happy_.”

 

Derek smiled widely and bent down to kiss Spencer on the lips, a quick peck to show his love. “I feel the same way, baby boy,” he said gently and wrapped him up in a hug. “It’s both exciting and terrifying… but we’re going to be _parents,_ pretty boy… I’m going to be a _daddy_!”

 

Spencer chuckled and sat up when Derek released him from the hug. “Does that mean I’m going to be a mommy?” he asked, his smile growing wider and happy tears springing to his eyes. “I mean, I’m just as much female as I am male, and since I’m pregnant and going to give birth… I… I-I guess I’m going to be a mother!”

 

Derek laughed out loud and kissed Spencer once more before helping him off the table. “Let’s get out of here,” he said as he wrapped his arm around Spencer’s shoulders and walked him to the door.

 

* * *

 

 

“Can we stop at the office?” Spencer asked as they were in the car on their way home.

 

“Why?” Derek asked, surprised at Spencer’s request. It was a Friday and Derek didn’t have to be back to work until Monday morning unless there was a case, and Spencer still had another whole week off.

 

“Well, I…” Spencer started nervously, wringing his hands in his lap. “I want to tell the team what we found out… along with some other things…”

 

“What kind of other things?” Derek asked suspiciously, sneaking glances over at Spencer’s nervous stance and gestures as he made the turn that would take them to the FBI building.

 

Spencer sighed and brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Derek… please don’t be angry but we haven’t been dating all that long, really. I mean we’ve known each other for four years but we’ve only been dating for ten months and we only moved in together two months ago and now we’re going to be having children soon and things have just been moving so fast and I haven’t had a chance to tell you everything you should probably know and I just –”

 

“Spencer, hunny, calm down,” Derek interrupted. By this time he had pulled into the parking garage under the FBI building and stopped the car. He turned in his seat to look over at Spencer, who had moved from looking nervous to looking absolutely terrified. He sighed but then smiled and grabbed Spencer’s hand gently, aware that the brace was still present. He rubbed his fingers over Spencer’s wrist, feeling his pulse racing, and he sighed again. “It’s ok, Spencer. I know that you haven’t told me everything about you, just like I haven’t told _you_ everything about _me_. But that’s ok. Things _have_ been moving fast lately, but we’ll get through this, just like we have with everything else.”

 

Spencer nodded and sniffed as tears misted his eyes. He took a deep breath and, before he could lose his courage, blurted out, “I’ve been pregnant before.”

 

Derek’s fingers faltered in their movement against Spencer’s wrist, but almost immediately started up again as soon as the initial shock of what Spencer had said wore off. “Ok,” he said slowly and licked his lips, trying keep his composure. “When?”

 

Spencer took a shuttering breath and his lower lip started to tremble. “When I was in college,” he answered softly as tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I was fourteen… and I was… I-I w-w-was… I was raped.” He took a deep breath and tried not start sobbing. “I became pregnant… but I miscarried after two and a half months.”

 

“Oh, baby,” Derek said sympathetically and pulled Spencer over for a hug, rubbing his hand up and down Spencer’s back.

 

Spencer started to sob into Derek’s shoulder. “That’s one reason… why I was so s-scared… when I found out… I was pr-pregnant… th-this time! The doctors t-told me… that I miscarried… be-because I was so young… but I’m still scared! I-I don’t… want to screw up… this t-time!”

 

“Baby, listen to me,” Derek said gently, continuing his soothing gestures. “You didn’t screw up last time. You were too young, and you know better than I do that intersexed males’ bodies mature slower than other males. You’re _not_ going to miscarry this time.”

 

Spencer nodded but continued to sob. It took him almost ten minutes to calm down enough to pull away and wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said weakly and gave a sad little smile.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about, baby boy,” Derek said, returning Spencer’s smile and brushing his hair out of his face. “Was that what you wanted to tell the team about?”

 

Spencer licked his lips and looked away. “Not really,” he said evasively, but then he sighed and looked directly into Derek’s eyes. “The last time I was pregnant, even though it was only for a couple of months, my emotions, my _personality_ , changed a lot. My doctor at the time said that it was because my body had almost completely stopped producing testosterone in favor of producing more estrogen and progesterone. I ended up getting these odd and completely uncharacteristic urges that were extremely difficult for me to fight…”

 

“What kind of urges?” Derek asked, a wolfish grin on his face as he wagged his eyebrows suggestively, trying to lighten up the mood.

 

Spencer chuckled and playfully smacked Derek on the arm. “It wasn’t anything like that,” he said with a smile, but then sighed heavily. “It was more along the lines of wanting to… I don’t know… for one, I just got the overwhelming urge to look… _pretty_ , for lack of a better word.”

 

Derek laughed and brushed a lock of hair behind Spencer’s ear. “Well you’re already pretty,” he said warmly, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead. “Why do you think I call you ‘Pretty Boy’?”

 

Spencer smiled warmly and leaned into Derek, appreciating that he was trying downplay the situation to keep Spencer from stressing. “One of the hazards of having as much estrogen coursing through his system as testosterone is that I sometimes enjoy taking time to improve my appearance… but when the estrogen increases… I find myself acting more feminine than masculine… and I don’t know how that’s going to change or if it’s going to change as I progress through the pregnancy… or it might not happen at all this time!” Spencer sighed and cleared his throat. “I just… I guess I want to warn them just in case I show up looking a little different than I normally do, or… if I’m a little louder or more emotional than I usually am… or if I suddenly just want to bite someone…”

 

“Whoa, wait,” Derek said as he leaned back and held his hands up in a halting motion. “If you want to _bite_ someone?”

 

“I don’t know, Derek, it happened last time for some reason so it very well could happen this time,” Spencer whined out, looking somewhat hopeless with the situation. “I mean, I never actually _bit_ anyone! I’m not a _savage_!”

 

“Baby, it’s ok,” Derek hurriedly said, again reaching for Spencer’s hand to soothe him. “I want you to feel whatever you feel and to not be ashamed of any of it, alright? Just… if you feel the need to bite someone, come to me, ok?” Derek smiled and ran his hands through Spencer’s hair.

 

Spencer gave a watery chuckle as he began to tear up once more. “Thanks,” he said in a whisper and put his head on Derek’s shoulder.

 

“I love you, baby,” Derek softly said, running his hand up and down Spencer’s back. “And I _never_ want you to feel uncomfortable in your own skin. If you feel something, don’t hide it from me or the team. We all love you and want to support and help you. All you have to do is open up and let us in.”

 

Spencer nodded his head and closed his eyes, greatly enjoying and appreciating the comfort that Derek was providing.


	13. Dessert?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long chapter everyone! (I hope it makes up for the long spaces between updates lol). Let me know what you think about where the story is going and, if you want anything specific to happen, just put it in a comment and I'll see what I can do! I'm also taking requests for other stories you might like to see but if you don't have any of that, feel free to just leave any comment :D Seeing new comments and kudos just makes my day brighter! Thanks everyone and I hope you enjoy this!

Derek and Spencer stepped off the elevator onto the floor with the BAU offices and bullpens. Spencer had pulled a jacket on over his shirt which effectively hid the small swell of his belly. He wanted to be able to tell the news to everyone at once and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that if his pregnant belly was just out there for all to see.

 

They walked through the glass doors that led to their team’s bullpen and Spencer found himself almost immediately surrounded by Emily, Garcia, and JJ, all talking at once and fighting each other to give him hugs.

 

JJ won and wrapped him in her arms, their similar heights making it easy for JJ to rest her chin on Spencer’s shoulder. “It’s so good to see you, Spence!”

 

“It’s only been a little over a week, JJ,” Spencer said, but smiled all the same.

 

“I know, but I’ve missed you,” JJ said, pulling away and holding him at arm’s length. “You look good too. Much better than the last time I saw you.”

 

“Thanks,” Spencer said and licked his lips. He felt uncomfortable with so much attention but knew that it wasn’t going to lessen up any time soon, especially when the remaining team members found out that he was pregnant.

 

Emily was next but she more just gave him a pat on the back rather than a full-on hug. “It’s good to see you, Reid,” she said warmly and smiled.

 

Spencer smiled back and uncharacteristically reached his hand over to grip hers. She seemed surprised, but didn’t pull away as Spencer said, “I’m sorry about how rude I’ve been to you lately, Emily. I’m uh… I’m hoping that you’ll understand a little better why after today.”

 

Emily looked confused but kept her smile. “It’s really alright, Reid. Sometimes I just don’t know when to stop talking,” she said and then looked at Spencer from his head to his feet in a scrutinizing fashion. “Are you ok?”

 

Spencer smiled and released her hand. “I’m more than ok,” he said honestly with a glimmer of tears in his eyes.

 

Garcia jumped in last, looking impatient for her turn, and gave Spencer a giant, bone-crushing hug. “It’s so good to see you, 187!” she squealed and started rocking back and forth with excitement.

 

“Careful, careful,” Spencer said, trying to stabilize himself in her arms and get her to stop squeezing him so hard.

 

She suddenly stopped all movement and gasped when she felt his little round belly pressing up against her own abdomen. She started to pull away to look at him, but Spencer held on, preventing her from moving.

 

“Don’t say anything,” he whispered in her ear when he realized that she had figured it out. “I want to tell everyone at the same time, ok?”

 

She smiled and nodded so Spencer let her pull away. She, like JJ, held him at arm’s length and looked him up and down. She then squealed and pulled him back in for another hug, but this one gentler than the last.

 

“Ok, baby girl, I want my man back,” Derek said with some amusement as he watched Spencer’s cheeks growing redder with embarrassment. He knew that Spencer didn’t like all the attention and was ready to get away from the squealing woman in front of him.

 

“No, he’s mine!” Garcia answered, holding onto him just a little tighter, but smiling all the same.

 

“Garcia!” Spencer whined and started pushing against her and trying to get away. He was ok with one hug from each person, but as soon as Garcia had pulled him into the second one, he started to get embarrassed and just wanted to get away.

 

Garcia finally let him go with a little pout and said, “Oh alright then.” She stepped back but her features melted when she continued to stare at Spencer, who looked like he was struggling to _not_ put his hand on his abdomen. “You go do what you gotta do, sweet boy, but I’ll see you later.”

 

Spencer smiled once more and nodded at her, trying not to cry. “Thanks, Garcia,” he said softly.

 

Derek linked his hand with Spencer and smiled at him. “Let’s go see Hotch,” he said softly and Spencer nodded, allowing Derek to lead him along the desks in the bullpen and up the steps to the catwalk that housed Hotch’s and Rossi’s offices.

 

Derek knocked on Hotch’s door and then opened it when he heard Hotch say, “Come in.” He led Spencer into the room and then turned around and shut the door behind them.

 

Hotch looked up and his eyes grew wide for a moment in surprise. “Morgan, Reid, what are you doing here?”

 

Spencer took a deep breath and braced himself on the back of one of the chairs facing Hotch’s desk. “Are you busy? Do you have time for a quick chat?”

 

“Of course, please sit down,” he said and closed the file that was sitting in front of him.

 

Spencer smiled and sighed as he sat down, already feeling his feet ache from the extra weight on them. That scared him slightly because if he was in pain after only five weeks of pregnancy, how would he feel at twenty weeks? Or thirty-five? He cringed at the thought, but then tried to wipe it from his mind. ‘ _It won’t do me any good to worry about it now,’_ he thought to himself as Derek sat in the chair to the left of him.

 

“You ok, baby boy?” Derek asked with some concern when he saw Spencer cringe and lean back in his chair.

 

“Yeah, I’m ok,” Spencer answered, then reached over and put his hand on Derek’s arm, not being able to do much else with his injured left hand.

 

“What did you need to talk to me about?” Hotch asked, folding his hands in front of him and scrutinizing the two men sitting at his desk.

 

Spencer took a deep breath and allowed his right hand to come up and rest on his slightly rounded stomach. “Well, we just came from the doctor’s and she confirmed that I am indeed pregnant,” Spencer said slowly and then smirked wryly. “Wasn’t much of a shock after five positive tests, though.”

 

Hotch smiled slightly and nodded his head, but didn’t say anything, waiting for Spencer to continue.

 

Spencer blew out a breath and looked down at the hand on his small belly. “I wanted to come here to tell the rest of the team the news, but I also wanted to hash a few things out with you as well,” Spencer said carefully, not looking up at either man, who were now both staring at him with a mixture of confusion and concern on their faces. Spencer hadn’t told Derek that he was going to do this, but he hadn’t really decided he _needed_ to do this until he was actually seated here in front of Hotch.

 

He took another deep breath and quickly said, “I-I don’t want to quit my job, but I will if I have to. I’ve already gone through losing one baby in my life and I won’t lose these. The sonogram clearly showed four embryos in me, but my OB said that there were possibly more… ‘ _hiding_ ’… in the background. I can’t take any chances. Because of this, I want to keep traveling with the team as long as I am able, which, by my rate of growth should be for another two months or so, but I request to stay behind in the station instead of actually being present out in the field.

 

“After I can no longer travel, I would still like to work cases remotely from here like Garcia usually does… I’ll need to take some time off around the end of the pregnancy, but I’m not sure how early because I’m not certain yet how big I’m going to get before all is said and done. After the babies are born, I’ll need a little time to adjust and bond with them as well as time to find a good nanny, but I think that three months should be enough. I have enough sick and vacation time built up that anything over the normal maternity leave should be covered… I do want to still be part of this team after my pregnancy is over, but I request to work remotely for at least six months after my leave is over so that I am able to go home to my children every night no matter what. I know that it’s selfish because neither you nor JJ get to go home to your children every night, so I’m willing to negotiate on that point. But not the others… I can’t on the others.”

 

The room went silent after Spencer stopped talking. Derek put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder and squeezed to show his support and to show that he wasn’t angry with Spencer for not talking about the issue with him first.

 

After a moment to think, Hotch nodded his head and gave a little half-smile to Spencer. “Don’t worry about it, Reid,” he said and Spencer’s head shot up in surprise. “Your requests are all reasonable and I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be respected. I’ll write something up and put the requests in for approval.”

 

Spencer visibly relaxed and a genuine smile appeared on his face. “Thank you,” he said softly as a tear ran down his face. He would have been embarrassed at the tears that came so easily, but they came so often that he really didn’t even think about them anymore.

 

Hotch nodded his head once again but then seemed to grow slightly nervous, which wasn’t a common emotion with him. “I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, but can I ask what you meant when you said that you’d already lost one baby?”

 

Spencer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d hoped that Hotch hadn’t picked up on that since Spencer hadn’t meant to say it but he guessed it was silly to think that one of the top profilers in the world would miss something so obvious. “It’s not something I want everyone to know,” he started but then let out a shuttering breath and nodded his head. “But you have a right to know. I uh… I was raped when I was fourteen and got pregnant… but I miscarried two and a half months later.”

 

Hotch closed his eyes momentarily in sympathetic pain and said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

“It was a long time ago,” Spencer said softly and reached up to wipe the tears from his eyes.

 

“That doesn’t make it any easier though,” Hotch said sagely, making sure to keep eye contact with Spencer. Spencer had become almost like a son to him and the more tragedy in Spencer’s past that came to light only proved to Hotch how strong Spencer was and how those tragedies had molded him into the wonderful young man that now sat before him.

 

Derek cleared his throat in the suddenly silent room and Spencer and Hotch both looked over at him, surprised to see a slight grin on his face. “So, now that all that emotional shit is out of the way,” he started but then laughed out loud when Spencer reached over with his right hand to playfully smack at Derek’s arm. “Anyway… I _think_ we came here to tell the rest of the team about the pregnancy, but since Spencer changes his mind more than I change my underwear, I’m not quite sure anymore.”

 

“Hey!” Spencer said indignantly, smacking Derek’s arm once more and then pouting slightly and folding his arms over his chest. “I _did_ want to tell everyone… but maybe we shouldn’t do it here? Maybe we should invite you all to dinner tonight or something?”

 

“See, what did I say?” Derek said fondly and reached over to ruffle Spencer’s hair.

 

Spencer snorted and leaned over out of the way, refusing to look at Derek because he knew that Derek would make him smile and Spencer wanted to stay slightly offended for just a little while longer.

 

Hotch smiled, amused by their antics and extremely relieved that Spencer seemed to be feeling better than the last time he’d seen him. “It’s completely up to you two,” he eventually said, breaking up their bickering. “Today is a paperwork day and no cases have come in so there’s a good chance we’ll have this evening off.”

 

“Why don’t we do both, baby?” Derek suggested, completely serious as he again laid his hand on Spencer’s shoulder to get his attention. “I mean, we could tell them now and also invite them over tonight. Does that sound good?”

 

Spencer thought about it for a moment, but then smiled and nodded, starting to feel a little bubble of excitement build within him.

 

“I’ll gather everyone in the conference room,” Hotch said as he got up from his seat and headed for his door, leaving Spencer and Derek alone in the office.

 

Spencer took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, starting to rub his hand over the little swell of his belly, marveling at how it already felt round and firm to the touch.

 

“Everything alright?” Derek asked quietly, bringing his hand up to card his fingers through Spencer’s hair in a soothing fashion.

 

Spencer sighed but opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at Derek. He looked absolutely exhausted all of a sudden. “Yeah, I think so,” he answered in a soft voice, blinking his eyes lazily. “I mean, my back hurts and my feet are sore and I’m really tired and I think I’m hungry… but other than that, yeah everything’s alright.”

 

Derek chuckled slightly and leaned over to kiss Spencer’s forehead. “Ok well let’s just get through this then we’ll get something to eat and then go home so you can take a nap. That sound good?”

 

Spencer sighed and let out a little happy moan. “That sounds _wonderful_.”

 

Derek smiled wider and shook his head slightly in amusement. Then he got up out of his seat and offered a helping hand out to Spencer, who took it immediately, grunting slightly as he regained his feet and took a moment to find his balance.

 

' _This is crazy!’_ Spencer thought to himself as he shuffled out of the office, his right hand linked with Derek’s left. ‘ _When did I get so_ tired _?! And since when did my balance feel so…_ off _?!’_ Spencer sighed and brought his left arm up to rub over his face, not being able to pinch the bridge of his nose with his braced left hand.

 

The closer they got to the conference room, the more nervous Spencer became and, seeming to realize this, Derek let go of Spencer’s hand to bring his arm up around Spencer’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be ok, baby boy,” Derek said gently, squeezing his hand on Spencer’s left arm in support.

 

“I know,” Spencer answered quietly, his voice shaking ever so slightly. “I just _really_ hate attention.”

 

Derek chuckled and leaned over to plant a kiss on the crown of Spencer’s head. “Well I think you just might have to get over that, pretty boy,” he said playfully, using his right hand to reach up and gently flick Spencer’s nose.

 

Spencer, in a moment of immaturity, turned his head to stick his tongue out at Derek and then, lightheartedly and with no real heat, said, “Fuck off.”

 

Laughter greeted Spencer and he whipped his head around to the front, realizing that they were standing in the doorway of the conference room and the rest of the team was now giggling and snickering at Spencer’s vulgar language. Spencer’s cheeks turned crimson and he hung his head, completely embarrassed at what he’d just done.

 

“I don’t ever think I’ve heard you be so _eloquent_ , Reid,” Rossi said, amusement making his eyes twinkle brightly. Renewed laughter came from the room at that, which only caused Spencer to blush harder and want nothing more than to turn tail and run as far away as he could from this situation.

 

Derek smiled and squeezed Spencer into his side harder, forcefully guiding him into the room and over to a chair so he could sit down and rest his feet a little more. He was glad that Spencer was feeling well enough to verbally play with him, so he really hoped that the embarrassment Spencer felt would fade quickly and wouldn’t affect his mood too much.

 

“Alright, calm down everyone,” Hotch said firmly but there was still a hint of a smile on his face and his eyes showed his enjoyment at watching the scene playing out before him.

 

“So what’s up, Hotch?” Emily asked curiously, taking a few deep breaths to calm the laughter out of her voice. “What’s going on?”

 

Hotch gave a pointed stare at Derek, knowing that looking at Spencer would do no good since Spencer seemed to be captivated by the wood grain pattern on the surface of the table.

 

Derek smirked as he sat down next to Spencer and took Spencer’s hand in his. “Well, Spencer wanted to tell you all something but now that you’ve thoroughly embarrassed him into speechlessness, I guess _I’m_ making the announcement,” Derek said as he squeezed Spencer’s hand and then brought it up to his mouth so he could kiss the back of it. “Around May of next year, Spencer and I are going to have a couple of beautiful babies to take care of.”

 

Silence met Derek’s words but a second later, Garcia squealed loudly and jumped out of her chair. “A _couple_?!” she asked in a high pitched scream as she ran over to stand between Derek and Spencer so she could bring them both into a hug. “You’re having _twins?!_ ”

 

Spencer snorted and finally brought his head up to look at Garcia, amusement and fear both showing in his large, expressive eyes. “Try for more,” he said quietly, but then blushed harder and ducked his head again when Garcia practically shrieked her excitement.

 

“ _Triplets?!”_ she yelled, to which Derek chuckled and brought his hand up to her mouth, effectively silencing her.

 

“Try at least quads but possibly quints or even sextuplets,” Derek said with a smirk on his face, obviously happy and excited at the thought of his lover bearing so many children.

 

Garcia’s eyes went wide and bulged slightly and Derek wondered if they were going to just pop out of her skull and roll across the floor. She started to jump up and down and make little squealing sounds behind Derek’s hand.

 

Derek took his hand away from her mouth and, thankfully, Garcia refrained from screaming out her joy and breaking the windows and any other glass surface in the conference room. Derek couldn’t help but smile at the eccentric blonde and just hoped that she wouldn’t pass out.

 

“Holy god,” Emily said suddenly, an equally shocked look on her face from Derek’s announcement. “ _Six?_ Are you _sure?_ ”

 

Before Derek could answer, Spencer snapped out a harsh, “No,” raising his head to glare in Emily’s direction. “It could be less or it could be more. My OB couldn’t tell yet but hopefully we’ll know in a few weeks. You got a problem with it?”

 

Emily held her hands up defensively and gave Spencer a shy half-smile. “Not at all, Reid,” she said earnestly, not really sure what she’d done to piss him off _this_ time but also knowing that his hormones and emotions were probably going to be running wild for a while so she’d better get used to it. “I was just thinking that you two were going to have your _hands_ full, that’s all.”

 

Spencer blushed yet again and hung his head. “Sorry,” he quietly apologized, shocked and ashamed that he’d blown up at poor Emily over nothing.

 

Derek reached over to rub his hand up and down Spencer’s spine in a comforting motion.

 

Before anyone could say anything more, though, Garcia broke her silence and squealed out, “We have _got_ to have a celebratory party! I mean, before the baby shower and everything!”

 

“Baby shower?” Spencer choked out, whipping his head around to stare at Garcia incredulously, looking absolutely terrified. That seemed to break the slight awkwardness in the room (everyone but Garcia and Hotch had been shocked to find out that Spencer could possibly be having six babies) and five of the BAU team members burst out laughing.

 

Garcia’s eyes just twinkled with amusement and Spencer’s mouth was hanging open in shock. He hadn’t even _begun_ to think as far ahead as a having a baby shower!

 

“Actually, Spence wanted to invite you all over for dinner tonight, provided that a case doesn’t come up,” Derek said once he’d regained his composure and could speak without interrupting himself with fits of laughter.

 

“That sounds perfect,” JJ piped up, a warm smile on her face. “We could each bring a dessert or drinks or something.”

 

“Dessert?” Spencer asked, instantly perking up at the word, which again made everyone laugh which in turn made Spencer blush and hang his head once more.

 

Derek patted Spencer’s arm lovingly and said, “That’s a great idea, JJ. Spencer and I will make the main meal and everyone else can bring sides or whatever… Or just come anyway. We want you all there no matter what.”

 

Everyone smiled and nodded and then the room sank into a comfortable silence, which was broken a moment later by the loud grumble of someone’s stomach.

 

A few chuckles went around the room but stopped abruptly when Spencer whimpered and hugged his arms around himself as he brought his knees up as far to his chest as he could manage with his little belly in the way. He was so _embarrassed_!

 

Derek reached over and brushed a lock of hair away from Spencer’s face and behind his ear. “Hey, it’s alright, baby boy,” he said softly, hoping to soothe away his boyfriend’s discomfort with the small gesture. “It’s alright to be hungry. Come on, let’s go and get something to eat. Sound good?”

 

Spencer nodded his head but didn’t look up from his knees, too humiliated to look anyone in the face. Because of that, he missed the concerned looks that went around the room. They knew it shouldn’t be surprising, but ever since his and Derek’s captivity, Spencer had been more withdrawn and self-conscious, which was saying something because he’d _already_ had self-esteem and social issues to begin with.

 

Derek sighed and got up from his chair, again reaching a hand down to help Spencer get to his feet. As Spencer slowly uncurled himself and stood up, Derek turned his head to the rest of the team and smiled reassuringly, wordlessly telling them that everything was ok. “We’re gonna get some lunch. We’ll see you guys around 6:30 or so, alright?”

 

“You bet!” Garcia answered for the team, still smiling widely and completely oblivious to Spencer’s rapid mood swings. “We’ll be there with bells on!”

 

Spencer suddenly smiled shyly and looked up at Garcia, clearing his throat before he cheekily said, “Just be there with dessert and we can be friends.”

 

Everyone laughed and this time, Spencer joined in as he tried to force himself to brighten up and not take things so seriously. He hated being depressed and embarrassed…

 

“You got it, 187!” Garcia exclaimed and then leaned forward to plant a kiss on Spencer’s cheek, leaving behind a pink lipstick stain.

 

“Hey, don’t be marking up my man!” Derek said with mock indignation, slinging his arm around Spencer’s shoulder possessively as he smiled a slightly wolfish grin. “If anyone’s going to mark him, it’s going to be me!”

 

“I didn’t know you wore lipstick,” Emily stated loudly from across the room, making Spencer snort and hide his face in Derek’s shoulder, silent giggles making his small frame shake and shudder.

 

“You watch it,” Derek threatened, pointing his finger at Emily and attempting to look stern but not pulling it off. He was too glad that Spencer was finally laughing to be even remotely offended at the crack.

 

“Alright, you two get out of here so we can get back to work,” Hotch said, smirking when a collective groan sounded around the conference room. “We’ll see you this evening.”

 

Derek nodded and Spencer meekly waved at everyone as they turned and headed out of the room and made their way back toward the elevator.

 

As the three girls filed out the room behind Derek and Spencer, Rossi stepped up beside Hotch and said, “Well, this is going to be interesting.”

 

Hotch reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, hoping to quell the tension headache that was building up behind his eyes. “You’re telling me,” he answered softly, knowing that Rossi was referencing not only dealing with Spencer’s mood swings when he finally returned to work, but also how they, as a _family,_ were going to help Spencer and Derek handle the stresses of a pregnancy and the babies that were coming.

 

However, as Rossi patted his shoulder and followed the girls out of the room, Hotch couldn’t keep from smiling slightly. He wanted Spencer to be happy, as much as he wanted his own son to be happy, and he honestly thought that maybe… just maybe… _this_ would bring the fulfillment and contentment into Spencer’s life that he so very much deserved.


	14. Why Are You So Good To Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the long wait. I hadn't realized that it'd been that long since I updated last! I feel really bad :( But, I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I'll try to be faster with the next update! Thanks for your patience and, as always, I love positive comments and feedback to let me know how I'm doing. Please enjoy!

After Spencer and Derek left the FBI building, they got lunch at a local diner and then headed back home. Spencer had been oddly quiet throughout the meal and the drive back to their ranch-style home and Derek was beginning to worry.

 

As soon as he turned the car off in their driveway, and before Spencer could get out, Derek turned toward the passenger seat and put his hand on Spencer’s knee. “You ok, baby boy?” he asked in a quiet, concerned voice. “Are you still upset about how things went down with the rest of the team?”

 

Spencer sighed and brought his hands up to his face to rub his eyes. He then looked over at Derek and answered, “I’m not upset, really,” he began, his voice small and slightly hesitant. “I’m more… worried, I guess.”

 

“Worried about what?” Derek asked, his brows furled in confusion and concern as he began to rub Spencer’s thigh in a comforting manner.

 

Spencer took a deep, shuttering breath and Derek could tell he was close to tears. “They were all just so _surprised_ and _shocked!_ Even JJ, and she _knew_ that I’m pregnant! I mean, no one but Garcia and maybe Hotch seemed to be happy for us and… I just don’t know how I feel about that.”

 

“Baby, no,” Derek said soothingly, leaning over to bring Spencer into an awkward hug over the center console. “No, they were happy. And of _course_ they were shocked. I mean, it’s not every day someone finds out their friend is pregnant with possibly six babies. Hell, you and I were _both_ shocked when we found out this morning, so can we really fault them for needing a little bit of time to process the information?”

 

Spencer sniffed loudly and sighed again. “I guess not,” answered contemplatively. “But if they reacted that way over the number of babies, what are they going to say when I tell them that I might act a little differently because of the estrogen in my system?”

 

“I’m sure they’ll be supportive, no matter what, hunny,” Derek said, his voice full of warmth and love as he ran his hand up and down Spencer’s back. “They’re our family, after all, and I have faith that they’ll be there for us and love us no matter what happens, how you act, or how many babies we have. Alright?”

 

Spencer blew out a breath to steady himself and nodded his head against Derek’s shoulder. “Yeah, you’re right,” he whispered and again stiffed loudly. “I just… I don’t know.”

 

“It’s alright, pretty boy,” Derek said and gently kissed the top of Spencer’s head. “You’ve been through a lot today already and you’re tired. Why don’t we go in the house and we’ll lay on the bed together for a little while. Sound good?”

 

Spencer leaned away from Derek and wiped his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face. “Yeah, that sounds really good.”

 

Derek then leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Spencer’s lips. “Alright, come on,” he said when he pulled back.

 

Spencer nodded and they both got out of the car and headed up to the house, Derek rushing to put his arm around Spencer’s waist as they walked so Spencer could lean into Derek’s strong warm frame.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later, Spencer felt much better than he had at the FBI office earlier. He’d laid down with Derek and Clooney for almost two hours, his head resting on Derek’s chest as Derek watched football on the flat screen in their bedroom and Clooney slept down by their feet. Then, when they’d gotten up, Spencer had made himself a snack of cottage cheese covered in chocolate syrup, while Derek started to make a list of everything they would need for that night’s dinner with the team.

 

“What do we want to make as the main dish?” Derek asked absently, thinking through his mental list of recipes of what he could make that actually tasted good.

 

“What about a cookout?” Spencer suggested as he made himself comfortable on the couch and took another bite of his snack. “Or is it too late in the year?”

 

Derek considered this for a moment but then shrugged his shoulders and answered, “It’s pretty warm today so I think we could manage a cookout.” Then he smirked as he moved to sit on the couch next to Spencer and said, “Plus, there really isn’t a designated date to stop grilling outside, baby. It just depends on the weather. I don’t really want to be out grilling in the snow, after all.”

 

Spencer reached over to playfully smack Derek on the arm. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if it was _snowing_ , Derek,” he grumbled as he took another bite of the cottage cheese.

 

Derek chuckled and shook his head as he began to make notes on his phone. “Ok so what are we grilling?”

 

Spencer perked up a little and swallowed what was in his mouth to excitedly say, “What about steak? Or maybe hamburgers? Hotdogs? Ooh, what about Polish sausages?” He made a little happy noise at that suggestion and brought his hand down to rub small circles on his swollen belly.

 

Derek smiled and leaned over to plant a kiss on Spencer’s cheek. “You’re adorable,” he said fondly, making a small blush spring up on Spencer’s face. Derek chuckled once more and continued to type into his phone. “Ok, what about vegetables or something?”

 

Spencer blinked and turned his head quickly to stare at Derek in confusion. “Wait, what did we decide about the meat?”

 

“Exactly what you said,” Derek answered, also looking a bit confused. “Steaks, hamburgers, hotdogs, and Polish sausages.”

 

“We’re doing all of it?” Spencer asked incredulously, his face contorting into an expression of shock as he cocked his head to one side.

 

Derek just smiled and reached his hand up to brush a lock of hair behind Spencer’s ear. “Well, we _are_ having company over and cooking a wide variety ensures they’ll all have something they like to eat,” he explained patiently, again causing Spencer to blush in embarrassment. “Plus,” Derek added, putting his finger’s under Spencer’s chin before the young man could hang his head. “You looked so excited when you were listing everything off. How could I not do something that makes you that happy?”

 

Spencer blinked a few times and opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, unsure of how to respond to Derek’s words. Finally, he cleared his throat and, in a small voice choked with emotion, he asked, “Why are you so good to me?”

 

Derek sighed and combed his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “Because I love you, baby boy, and I want to make you happy,” he answered softly, taking note of the fact that Spencer looked as if he were battling back tears. “You haven’t had an easy life, hunny. You had to grow up fast and you haven’t had many opportunities to just be happy and carefree. It’s about time someone went out of their way in order to make sure you were being taken care of. I’m just glad that you let me in close enough for me to try to fill that position.”

 

Spencer’s lip began to tremble as a few tears made their way down his cheeks. He silently cursed his overactive hormones, hating that just about everything took him over the edge anymore. Trying to calm himself enough to form an answer, Spencer looked away from Derek’s loving expression and took a few deep, shuttering breaths. However, as soon as he turned to look at Derek once more, the emotions came rushing back and the tears started to flow once more.

 

“Y-You haven’t h-had it easy e-either,” he stuttered out as he began to sob, completely embarrassed that he was getting upset over a simple conversation that started over food. “You d-deserve happiness t-too! I-I w-want to m-make _you_ happy!”

 

“Shhh,” Derek soothed as he brought Spencer into a gentle hug, one of his hands moving to rub up and down the smaller man’s spine. “I _am_ happy, baby boy,” he said, tilting his head slightly so he could place a small kiss on the top of Spencer’s head. “You have made me so unbelievably happy and I cherish every moment that I’m with you, even if I don’t always say so. Ok? I want to make you happy for so many reasons, but one of the main ones is because you make _me_ happy. Happier than I can even express.”

 

Derek’s speech did nothing to stem the tears that were freely falling from Spencer’s eyes, but neither of them cared. Derek knew that Spencer’s tears were happy, emotional ones and that they would end soon enough. He also knew that Spencer needed to often hear reassurances that he wasn’t being a bother and that people really did care about him, which Derek was all too happy to give to him. Spencer’s self-esteem had never really developed, what with all the bad things that had happened to him so young in life, so Derek tried to make it his mission to help build it up as best as he could.

 

Spencer was right in saying that Derek’s life hadn’t been a piece of cake either, but other than his father dying and the whole messed up ordeal with Carl Buford, Derek saw his childhood as being relatively normal. He had a mother who had done a great job of taking care of her children (and still did, as a matter of fact) and he considered his school days as being really no worse than anyone else’s.

 

Spencer, on the other hand, had a father who abandoned him with a sick mother so Spencer was forced to take care of her instead of the other way around. Spencer was also forced to face terrible ordeals in school because, since he skipped so many grades due to his intelligence, he was so much younger than all his other peers. School children could be very brutal to people they didn’t think fit in… and Spencer definitely didn’t fit in in too many places.

 

Despite the hardships he’d endured growing up (and Derek was convinced that, especially after just finding out this morning that Spencer too had been raped as a child, he didn’t even know _half_ of everything that had happened to him) Spencer had become the nicest, most selfless and kindest person that Derek had ever met. Hell, if Derek knew how and where to do it, he’d recommend Spencer for a sainthood! The kid had kept this purity, this _innocence_ about him, even though he’d been through things that would have broken so many other people. Spencer was gentle, yet so strong; incredibly smart, yet so naïve. He was a conundrum that Derek wanted to spend the rest of his life figuring out.

 

Derek was brought out of his musings by Spencer taking a few deep breaths and finally pulling back out of Derek’s embrace. He was still a little embarrassed about how easily he’d broken down, so he licked his lips, wiped his eyes, and let out a breathy, mirthless chuckle. “Sorry about that,” he said without looking Derek in the eyes.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Derek answered as he patted Spencer gently on the shoulder. “I’d rather you let your emotions out than let them eat you alive.”

 

Spencer nodded his head and chanced a look up at Derek to make sure he really meant what he was saying. Seeing no sign of him being untruthful, Spencer relaxed back into the couch cushions, intending to finish his snack and then clean the house a little before the rest of the team arrived for dinner in a few hours.

 

However, as he reached for his bowl, which he’d set on the end table next to the couch, his stomach rumbled and rolled uncomfortably. He frowned and moved his hand to rub over his belly, hoping the sensation would go away if he just waited long enough. It didn’t. His stomach rolled again and suddenly lurched, causing him to slap his hand over his mouth to keep from projectile vomiting across the room.

 

Before he had a chance to even _think_ about getting up from the couch, Derek’s arms were around him, helping him to his feet, over to the other side of the living room, and into the bathroom. Spencer kneeled down in front of the toilet and began to throw up the cottage cheese and chocolate syrup that he’d just eaten, the only thought running through his head being about what a great loss it was. After all, it was such a shame to eat something that tasted so good only to vomit it back up.

 

Derek held Spencer’s hair out of his face and rubbed soothing circles on his back as Spencer puked. Derek knew that nausea was normal during pregnancy, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He hated seeing Spencer feeling bad and, even though he knew Spencer wasn’t sick and there was nothing Derek could do to ‘fix’ it, he still wanted to do everything he could to make Spencer comfortable until he felt better.

 

Eventually, Spencer stopped heaving and let out a low groan. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, then reached up to flush the toilet as he collapsed sideways onto his hip. He was suddenly just so exhausted! He let out a small growl of frustration. He shouldn’t be tired! He’d just gotten up from a nap, for god’s sake!

 

“Shhh,” Derek soothed, moving to help Spencer to his feet. “Come on, rinse your mouth out and then you can lay down on the couch for a bit. Ok?”

 

Too tired and frustrated to argue, Spencer just nodded and accepted the cup of mouth wash that Derek had seemingly pulled out of nowhere because Spencer certainly hadn’t seen him pour it. He gargled and spit, then leaned against Derek, trusting him to lead him somewhere comfortable where he could relax.

 

Carefully, Derek guided Spencer out of the bathroom and back over to the couch so he could lie down for a while. He was a little worried about how frequently Spencer seemed to be getting tired, but he supposed that maybe that was normal when someone was pregnant with multiples, or maybe it was just normal for male pregnancies. Derek knew that male and female pregnancies could differ in a few ways, but he wasn’t sure what those differences might be, so he just decided to file the slightly worrisome details in the back of his mind to ask about during Spencer’s next doctor’s appointment.

 

Spencer sighed as he was lowered onto the couch, feeling the soft cushions around him like a gentle embrace. His eyes slipped closed and, when he felt Derek lay a blanket over him, he snuggled into it and let out another contented sigh. He didn’t want to fall asleep. After all, he had work to do in order to prepare for dinner! But the couch felt so comfortable… Maybe he would just lay there for a few minutes… Yeah, that’s what he would do. Then he would get up and begin the chores that needed to be done.

 

Derek smiled when he saw that Spencer was already falling asleep. The poor genius often suffered from insomnia, so even though he was still slightly concerned, Derek was glad that Spencer was actually resting and taking it easy. ‘ _Hopefully it’ll be this easy to get him to relax throughout the entire pregnancy,’_ Derek thought optimistically as he reached down to brush Spencer’s hair out of his face, but he knew that probably wouldn’t be the case. Spencer didn’t like to be idle so as soon as his body got used to the changes happening to it, Spencer would most likely be up trying to do what he would normally do, even if he shouldn’t. Spencer was more than a little stubborn, so Derek decided to just enjoy the time now when Spencer was actually listening to his body and giving it what it needed, and try not to worry about what might happen later when Derek would probably have to convince, possibly force, Spencer to do things he really didn’t want to do (like eat healthily, not overwork himself, sleep enough, etc.).

 

Derek sighed, coming to the conclusion that now would probably be the best time to run to the store to get the things for dinner. He didn’t really want to leave Spencer alone, but he reminded himself of the fact that he already _had_ left him alone for almost a month during that long, frustrating case. So, Derek grabbed his phone and his wallet, then walked back over to the couch to lean down and gently wake Spencer long enough to tell him where he was going. He felt bad about disturbing him, but he wouldn’t want Spencer to wake up and not know where Derek was. “Baby, I’m going to run to the store, ok? I’ll be back soon.”

 

Spencer opened his eyes a crack, then nodded and grunted for his response, almost immediately closing his eyes again afterward.

 

Derek chuckled and leaned over to kiss Spencer on the side of his forehead. He then stood up straight, walked to the front door, grabbed his keys, and then left, hoping that Spencer would stay out of trouble until he got back. How in the world had he left for so long on a case without losing his mind?! Derek didn’t know, but he _did_ know that he never wanted to do that again. Even a couple hours away from Spencer was too long, in Derek’s opinion.


	15. Crying Over Pie and Pickles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I'm sorry for not updating my stories when I said I would. Last week, my aunt, who I was very close to, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away and I've spent the time since then trying to cope and help pick up the pieces that she left behind. Then, I caught the plague I've felt absolutely miserable as I've tried to get over that. Needless to say, it's been a rough two weeks. However, I am going to try to get back in the swing of things and start updating semi-regularly once again, starting with this update. I hope that you enjoy this. I wrote half of it before the death so I hope there isn't a huge disconnect in the story or anything. As always, I love positive comments and feedback. Please enjoy!

Spencer woke to a quiet house. He stretched a little and blinked his eyes a few times to focus them. ‘ _Where is Derek?’_ he wondered as he tried to clear his mind of the haze of sleep. He slowly sat up and looked at the clock. 5:48pm. People were going to start arriving soon.

 

He stood up slowly and stretched again. He remembered Derek waking him up to tell him he was going to the store… but he couldn’t still be there, could he? Spencer wasn’t sure what time Derek had left, but he surely would have left himself enough time to get back and start cooking, wouldn’t he? With that in mind, Spencer walked to the back glass doors that looked out over the patio and swimming pool. Spencer smiled at the sight he was presented with.

 

Derek was out by the grill, flipping and seasoning steaks and burgers, and Clooney was sitting near Derek’s feet, staring up at the cooking meat and waiting for something to drop. It was such a perfect scene so Spencer turned around and headed for the bookcase in the corner to grab the digital camera that they kept there. He then walked back over to the doors and snapped a couple photos, thinking that he would have the best one either framed or put in a scrapbook or something.

 

Spencer yawned as he put the camera back and headed to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, hoping he would find something to throw together for the meal so he could at least _feel_ like he was helping. Seeing bags of vegetables and a head of lettuce, Spencer decided to make a salad. He gathered up the supplies and then grabbed a big bowl, a knife, and a cutting board and started chopping up the different ingredients and throwing them into the bowl, every now and then snacking on a piece before it could make it to the salad.

 

He was cutting carrots when the doorbell rang so he grabbed another whole carrot out of the bag and headed for the foyer, taking a bite from the end of the stick as he went. He smiled when he looked through the peephole and saw Garcia standing on the front porch, her arms laden down with boxes and plastic shopping bags.

 

“Hi Garcia,” Spencer greeted as he opened the door. “Can I help you with any of that?”

 

“Don’t you dare, Spencer Reid,” Garcia said sharply and practically flew toward the dining room to set her bags and boxes down before Spencer could try to take them. “I’ll not have you lifting _anything_ while you’re pregnant, you hear?”

 

Spencer snickered at Garcia’s attitude as he followed her and took another bite of his carrot. “Your stuff didn’t look all that heavy,” he argued lightly. He was more appreciative of her caring about him than he was offended at her coddling. “I could have managed.”

 

“Don’t argue with me, 187!” she exclaimed as she smirked, seeing that Spencer wasn’t really trying to pick a fight. “Mama knows best!”

 

Spencer smiled and started looking through what Garcia brought, curious as to what all of it was. “Yes, ma’am,” he said absently as he set out a Ziploc bag of freshly made rolls and a Tupperware container of mashed potatoes. Then he smelled something sweet and looked over at one of the boxes that Garcia had just opened. He gasped when he saw crust and blueberries and yummy goodness all around.

 

“Is that pie?” he asked in an almost awed voice. His mouth started watering and he brought a hand down to rub over his suddenly growling stomach. ‘ _When did I become so obsessed over food?’_ he asked himself, a little shocked by his own body’s reaction to something like blueberry pie. After a moment, though, he decided he didn’t care. He wasn’t really hungry, but _god_ did he want that pie. And _now!_ “Can I have a piece?” he practically begged, not taking his eyes off of the perfectly baked crust and gooey blue center peeking out through the holes.

 

Garcia smiled at Spencer. There was absolutely no way she was going to say no when he looked like he was going to die if he didn’t get what he wanted! “Of course you can, sweetie! But you have to promise to eat some real food after this too, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded almost frantically as he dropped his half-eaten carrot and rushed to the kitchen to grab a plate and some utensils with which to serve and eat the pie. Then, before he ran back to what his mind was currently calling the ‘pie room,’ he grabbed a jar of peanut butter because, at the moment, he could think of nothing better to top his pie than a big dollop of peanut butter.

 

He practically sprinted back to the dining room, set down his stuff, and then cut the pie into sloppy eights, serving the biggest piece onto the plate that he brought. He took a spoon and dipped out some peanut butter, slathering it right on top of the gooey pie, then grabbed a fork and quickly shoveled some into his mouth, not being able to wait any longer. When the tastes met his tongue, he moaned and closed his eyes in satisfaction, bouncing slightly on his toes from the happiness that the wonderful combination brought him.

 

Spencer didn’t worry about making a mess or really anything other than the pie on the plate in front of him. It didn’t last as long as he would have liked, but as he licked his plate clean of the pie filling, he remembered his carrot so he grabbed that and finished it off as well. He then sighed and sat down in one of the dining room chairs and began to rub circles on his little belly, sated for the moment.

 

Garcia smiled when she noticed that Spencer had pie filling around his mouth and even on the tip of his nose, but she didn’t say anything, leaving it be for the moment. She had been somewhat shocked to see Spencer practically inhale his food, but she was glad that he’d enjoyed it so she just shrugged it off and finished unpacking the other culinary delights that she’d brought along. “You’re so cute,” she commented off-hand, not looking up at him as she continued to set things around the table. “And you’re going to be even cuter with a baby belly.”

 

“You think?” Spencer asked, suddenly sounding worried, which caused Garcia to stare up at him in concern. “I uh… I kind of thought I’d look weird… or, well, weirder than I already do.”

 

“There is nothing wrong with the way you look, honey-bun!” Garcia exclaimed as she rushed over to hug Spencer tightly to her bosom, not worrying if he got pie filling on her shirt or not. “And pregnancy _never_ looks weird. It’s beautiful and _you’re_ beautiful and you’re going to have absolutely _beautiful_ babies! Don’t you _dare_ worry about looking strange or anything! If anyone tells you differently, just let me know and I will mess them up, you hear?”

 

Spencer laughed and then sniffed loudly. Garcia’s words had lifted his spirits and caused him to cry a little at the same time. “Thanks Garcia,” he said softly as he pulled away to wipe his eyes and smile up at the kind woman in front of him.

 

“No problem, sweetie!” Garcia answered fondly, a wide smile on her face and a happy twinkle in her eyes. “Do you want another piece of pie?”

 

“You already serving pie in here, baby girl?” a voice said from the doorway, causing both Spencer and Garcia to jump and then glare over at Derek who was leaning against the frame with a smirk on his face.

 

“Don’t do that!” Garcia exclaimed, putting a hand over her heart dramatically.

 

“Sorry about that,” Derek chuckled, not looking sorry at all. “It’s not like I was purposefully _trying_ to sneak up on you.”

 

“We were talking so we didn’t hear you,” Spencer said as he relaxed back into his seat and crossed his ankles.

 

Derek turned to Spencer and burst out laughing, causing Spencer to sit up straight in his chair and look about the room to see what had tickled Derek’s fancy. Not noticing anything different, Spencer concluded that Derek was laughing at _him_ , which caused him to droop slightly. He didn’t like to be laughed at, especially when he didn’t understand _why_ he was being laughed at. However, Derek’s next words answered his unspoken question.

 

“You have blue stuff all over your face, baby boy!” Derek said in between laughs, causing Spencer to blush in embarrassment and look around for something to wipe his mouth on. What Derek said next, though, froze him in place. “You look like you just gave a blow job to a Smurf!”

 

Spencer stiffened and he grit his teeth, suddenly angry. He didn’t really know what a Smurf was, but he didn’t appreciate Derek suggesting, even as a joke, that Spencer was in here offering out sexual favors to any Tom, Dick, or Harry that walked through! With a huff, Spencer suddenly stood up and stalked past Derek out of the dining room. He heard Garcia admonishingly say, “Derek!” but Spencer didn’t halt on his way back to the kitchen. He then picked his knife back up and began to chop vegetables with new vigor. How _dare_ he say something like that!

 

“Baby boy,” Derek said as he followed Spencer into the kitchen.

 

Spencer didn’t look up or respond, only picking up speed with his knife as he practically shredded the salad ingredients in front of him.

 

“Come on, hunny, I was just joking,” Derek tried again as he slowly walked forward, grabbing a towel from the counter on his way to the kitchen island where Spencer had made his workspace. “It was just funny to see you like that, ok? You’re adorable!”

 

At that, Spencer exploded and held the cutting knife out in front of him like a weapon. “If I’m so ‘adorable,’ why would make sexual jokes about me?!” he practically yelled. He didn’t quite understand where all his anger was coming from, but he couldn’t be bothered at the moment to care about that. “You’re acting like I’m some kind of _slut_! That I just give it away to anyone and anything that stands still long enough! I’m not even _remotely_ like that and you know it! I just… I was… I…”

 

By this point, Spencer was taking in huge gulps of air and tears had started running down his cheeks. He was losing his anger in favor of sadness and Derek took this opportunity to move in and bring Spencer into his arms, taking the knife out of Spencer’s hand and laying it carefully down beside the cutting board. He then took the towel that he’d grabbed and gently wiped Spencer’s face clean.

 

“I don’t understand why I feel this way!” Spencer wailed and buried his face in the crook of Derek’s neck as Derek rubbed soothing circles on Spencer’s back. “I know my hormones are going crazy right now but I’m crying because I ate a piece of pie and had stuff on my face! How pathetic is that?!”

 

Spencer started to sob and Derek just soothed him with gentle words and touches. “It’s my fault, baby,” he said in a soft voice as he nuzzled his nose into Spencer’s hair. “I shouldn’t have made a crack like that. It was inappropriate and vulgar. You had every right to get mad at me.”

 

Spencer shook his head and lifted his gaze up to Derek’s face. “No, you should be able to say what you want in your own house,” he argued as tears continued to stream down his face. “You should be able to say what you want to _me_ without me losing my temper like that. I’m sorry.”

 

Derek smiled and leaned in to kiss the tip of Spencer’s nose. “You have nothing to be sorry about, ok?” He then hugged Spencer close until the genius had calmed down once more and pulled away. “Why don’t you finish the salad and I’ll check on the grill,” Derek suggested with a smile and then, when Spencer agreed, he turned around the left.

 

Spencer took a deep breath as he picked the knife back up and began chopping once more. He felt guilty for getting so angry, but then smiled when an idea came to him. ‘ _Maybe I can make it up to him later,’_ he thought as he began to mix the vegetables together in the bowl, all the while planning out a surprise that Derek was sure to love.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek walked out of the kitchen and back into the dining room, stopping in his tracks when he saw that the room was now full. He realized that the rest of the team must have arrived while he’d been talking with Spencer. “Hey guys,” he greeted and then turned to Garcia, who was glaring at him.

 

“Did you make up with him?” she demanded, her hands on her hips and her head cocked to the side.

 

“Yeah, baby girl, everything is alright,” he answered as he shook his head in amusement. He loved how protective she was over the entire team, but if any of them picked on Spencer, she was right there defending him and attacking them with vengeance. He really loved that about her, though, because it assured him that, if Derek ever wasn’t around to take care of Spencer, Garcia would be there to help him, and that was an amazingly comforting thought. “He’s in the kitchen mixing a salad, but he’s calm and happy again.”

 

“Good! Because even though what you said was funny, it was highly inappropriate given his current emotional state,” Garcia declared with a nod of her head. She then walked over to the serving buffet to the side of the room to grab the fancy plates and cutlery, reserved just for guests, so that she could set the table.

 

“What did you do, Morgan?” Emily asked with a smirk on her face as she set out a premade container of potato salad.

 

Derek sighed heavily but everyone could tell that he was struggling not to smile or laugh. “Oh he ate a piece of blueberry pie that Penelope brought and when I walked into the room, he had pie filling around his mouth, so I made a harmless little somewhat sexual comment,” he said with a little shrug of his shoulders.

 

“Harmless little somewhat sexual comment?” Garcia repeated incredulously, turning to face Derek with her mouth open and her eyes wide. “Derek Morgan, you told the poor boy he looked like he blew a Smurf!”

 

The whole room burst into laughter at her outburst and Garcia’s mouth twitched up at the corners as she struggled to remain looking angry.

 

“Morgan, you should know better,” Hotch admonished with no real heat, an amused smile covering his face and making his eyes twinkle.

 

Derek chuckled and rolled his eyes at himself. “Yeah, I know,” he answered as he moved to grab a big serving plate that he could take with him out to the grill to get the meat. “It just came out before I could think about it.”

 

“That’s what she said!” Garcia exclaimed with a mischievous look on her face.

 

Everyone laughed again but almost immediately stopped when Spencer walked into the room carrying the huge salad bowl and absently asked, “Who said what?”

 

Derek smiled widely and walked over to hug Spencer from behind and plant a kiss on his temple. “Nothing baby boy,” he said gently as Spencer sat the bowl on the table and then leaned back into Derek’s arms. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Spencer just smiled and nodded and then greeted the rest of the people in the dining room, glad that they had all shown up. Even though he’d known the small group of people for many years and he considered them as close as (if not closer than) his own family, his insecurities often popped up and led him to doubt whether anyone cared about him at all. He knew they did, but it was wonderful to see confirmation of the fact.

 

Derek hugged Spencer to him tightly, loving the feel of the smaller man in his arms. However, he realized that this was probably the best time for him to talk to the rest of the team without Spencer there, so he let him out of the embrace and said, “Hey, babe, why don’t you head to the kitchen and get glasses, extra serving spoons, and whatever else you can think of, ok?”

 

Spencer nodded and turned around, raising up on his toes to place a small kiss on Derek’s lips before he left the room.

 

Derek made sure that Spencer was out of earshot before he turned back to the members of the team, who were all staring up at him curiously. He took a deep breath and then blew it out heavily, hating going behind Spencer’s back like this but not really seeing any other way. “Listen guys,” he began, making sure that he had everyone’s attention. “As you all could probably tell from this morning, Spencer is still a little touchy when it comes to food and hunger. He’s always been slightly embarrassed about eating in front of other people, but now it’s even worse, especially since it seems like he’s hungry all the time. I just don’t want him to get upset at any of you over a simple comment or something, you know?”

 

“Like he did at you just a few minutes ago, hot stuff?” Garcia said with a smirk, trying to relieve some of the seriousness of the conversation.

 

Derek laughed along with everyone else and shook his head as a smile formed on his lips. “Yeah, well none of us are perfect, baby girl,” he answered, glad that everyone seemed to understand and that no one was upset.

 

“Isn’t _that_ a pity,” Garcia purred and fluttered her eyelashes, causing Derek to roll his eyes and chuckle.

 

Derek then sighed again and became serious once more. “Also, I don’t know if Spencer is going to have the courage to tell you, but he wanted to warn you that the estrogen in his system from being pregnant might make him act a little more feminine than usual. He’s been worried that you all wouldn’t understand or will make fun of him or something, even though I’ve assured him that you all won’t.”

 

“Of course we wouldn’t make fun of him!” Garcia exclaimed, looking as if even the very _idea_ appalled her to no end. “He’s always been a little feminine anyway, but that just makes him even more of a cutie pie!”

 

“Is he just guessing that this _might_ happen?” Emily asked with a confused scowl on her face. “Because, well, how would he _know_? I mean, he hasn’t been pregnant _before_ , has he?”

 

Derek could tell that she was fishing for an answer while still trying to be tactful, but he wasn’t prepared to give her an answer. “That’s not my story to tell, Emily,” he said with a shrug, knowing that he was just adding to her curiosity with that statement, but unsure of what else to tell her. “If you want to know any more, you’ll have to ask Spencer.”

 

Emily looked like she was going to ask something else, but then Spencer walked into the room, laden down with glassware and utensils that looked as if they would topple out of his hands at any minute. Derek and Garcia rushed forward to help relieve Spencer of the burden as Spencer mumbled, “I grabbed everything I could hold.”

 

“I can see that, baby boy,” Derek commented good-humoredly, receiving a punch in the arm from Spencer as soon as his hands were free. Derek leaned over and kissed Spencer on the top of the head before he laughed, picked up the serving plate he’d gotten out a few minutes earlier, and then said, “I’ll go get the meat and then we can eat.”

 

“We’ll help,” Rossi said, indicating over to Hotch with his head as both men also grabbed plates and followed Derek out to the back patio, leaving Spencer alone with the women.

 

Spencer smiled and sat down in one of the dining room chairs, sighing heavily as he stretched his feet out in front of him.

 

“Tired?” JJ asked as she came and sat down beside him, leaving the rest of the place setting to Garcia and Emily.

 

“Yeah,” Spencer answered quietly as he shut his eyes and brought his fingers up to massage his temples. “I’m beginning to think something is wrong. I’ve already taken two naps today. If my energy and hormone levels don’t even out soon, I don’t know how I’m going to return to work.”

 

“Don’t worry about that,” JJ answered, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing slightly. “I’m sure everything will be fine. And you know, we’ll all help you if you ever need anything.”

 

Spencer opened his eyes and looked over at JJ, his lower lip starting to tremble. “I know,” he said in a broken voice and then angrily reached up to wipe his eyes as tears started to fall. “God, I _hate_ being so emotional!” he exclaimed and then blushed at his outburst.

 

JJ chuckled and pulled him into a hug. “Oh, I know hunny! It is such a _bitch_!” she said kindly, patting Spencer’s back as he breathed deeply to try to calm himself down. “I remember one time, when I was pregnant with Henry, I started crying because Burger King left the pickles off of my sandwich. It was so ridiculous but I just couldn’t help it!”

 

Spencer laughed as he pulled away from JJ’s embrace. He sniffed loudly and wiped his eyes, but he was smiling, amused by JJ’s story. “Now I want pickles,” he answered and then laughed again.

 

The three women all laughed with him and Garcia said, “I’ll get them for you.” She then disappeared around the corner and into the kitchen before Spencer could protest.

 

“Alright, people, we have food!” Derek exclaimed as he walked back into the dining room with Rossi and Hotch following close behind him, all three holding plates full of grilled meat.

 

“Wow, you really went all out, didn’t you, Morgan,” Emily cracked when she saw the wide array.

 

Spencer blushed and sank lower into his chair. “That’s my fault,” he said in a small voice and hung his head.

 

“Hey, I don’t know about you, but I _like_ a variety,” Rossi said quickly, laying his plate down on the table and then taking a seat beside Emily. “Where’s Penelope? I’m hungry!”

 

Spencer chuckled and snuck a look up at everyone. When he saw only smiling faces (with none of them looking directly at him), he relaxed once more and scooted his chair closer into the table and toward Derek, who had taken the seat on his other side.

 

“I’m right here!” Garcia announced as she jogged back into the room, carrying jars, bottles, and containers full of pickles, peanut butter, cottage cheese, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and, it looked like, whatever else she found in the refrigerator. She set them all down in a heap in the center of the table and then took her own seat between Derek and Emily. “Alright, what are we waiting for? Let’s eat!”

 

A chuckle went around the room and everyone started helping themselves, complementing Derek on the perfect grilling and Spencer on the salad. Spencer blushed over the attention, but smiled anyway, glad that his friends were enjoying themselves. He felt Derek’s hand on his knee, which helped him relax even more, and he was thankful for the wonderful people in his life. He knew that this journey was going to be long and probably hard, but he also knew that he’d always have these people to help him out along the way. And with that thought, Spencer relaxed into his chair and enjoyed his meal without any embarrassment whatsoever.


End file.
